Yes, I think they know. You are smart to have cut the cord. I wish there was more knowledge about this for others to protect themselves.

I tried to confront mine with all of the facts I had learned subsequent to discovering that she was a catfish. At first, she kept trying to change the subject, saying she just wanted me to be "happy". Finally, in a voice that was much less pleasant/seductive than the one she usually used, she said "tell me you've never lied."

I think at that moment, she knew she'd been caught. And a moment later, she ended the conversation.

I'm sorry for asking...what exactly is meant by "catfish"? I notice the term being used on this site. I am still new to all this.

It's OK. I wish I didn't know. It comes from a movie and TV series of the same name. It is basically someone who creates a false persona online in order to lure someone into a relationship. The term was used in the movie by the husband of the woman who did the luring to describe how certain people were natural instigators -- like catfish in a school of docile codfish. Ironically, he seemed to condone his wife doing that with younger men she "met" on line.

I think mine knows but really doesn't care.

He would talk about feeling "wrong" inside and, in the moments where he showed a glimmer of actual truth, he would say "I know I'm a piece of shit- I don't know why I do this. " or something to that effect. Of course, some of that was just to garner sympathy, but there were times I could tell what he was struggling with what he was doing.

Of course, those times were few and far between. He gets really cold and just shuts anybody out who doesn't condone his behavior. He can also rationalize any behavior in any given situation.

britecloud your post is spot on.

My P knows he doesn't care in fact it makes him feel and act superior. They believe they are special beings and that nobody is capable of understanding this. Everything is on there terms and everyone else must comply.
Exposure is there greatest fear simply bacause cracks may show in there current persona they will publicly shame you and convince people your mad to protect themselves. reecelyn your P put her head down and you sensed her fear you caught her out well done.

I told the S he is one. I think he was a little shocked, but he doesn't really care...about anything but himself. Since then, he has made a point to announce how much empathy he has, but it's always tinged with sarcasm, utterly phony and never even makes sense. In other words, mimicking and not doing a very good job of it. If these S/N/P losers weren't so harmful to others, I would pity them.

When I think back thre is moments that I thougth he understood someting or saw something in himself. Now I am not sure of anything anymoe. Maybe it was only a New way of manipulate me, because that made me at that time fel a bit kind of sorry for him.
I have a daughter in Canada studying psycology. she said to me remember they never do anything without it is gainig them in some way. I think that is true!

What she also said was that t was deeply frustating that many of those who had studied for years know so little abouth the subject. . Not strange that so many of them is later manipulated .

awram: They can do the most horrible Things and tell the most horrible lies , and then the moment later accuse us for lying. When ou of the fog, it is easy to see this crasy manipulation .

You are right, Fiske. During the moments when the fog lifts, I can see that. Unfortunately, there are also moments when the fog descends. Britecloud: you make an excellent point about rationalization. My P had an excuse for everything and it was always mistreatment by her ex, tragedy in her family as a child or illness.

When I was sure my NH (who has sociopath tendencies) was a narcissist, I told him, "Some people have OCD, some have ADHD, and you have NPD...". When I said it, I smiled and was quite calm. He seemed to think I was complimenting him, but whenever he evidently looked it up online, he became sullen.... for days. I think he's always known something was wrong with him, but no one had ever put a label on it. He was angry and I could tell his temper was simmering for about a week. I stayed away from him as much as possible that week. They really resent the truth.

My most recent (rapist, con artist, felon) P admitted at one point that he was. I had already been an expert on psychopathy for over 5 yrs. I told him of what happened to me yrs ago to lead me to study this disorder for so long. I would often talk about the traits and behaviors of psychopaths with him. All along, through these conversations, he knew he was doing to me what had been done yrs ago, and what had caused me to not date for over 5 yrs before I met him. He would get real quiet when I talked about it. One day he told me he believed he was a sociopath and that he was evil and started listing out why. I assumed he was just saying that as most ppl who learn of a new disorder believe they might have it at first. So I laughed it off.

A couple wks later, when his story fell apart, after he raped me and I looked into him and found out who he really was, I talked to a prior victim of his and she had figured it out as well and had sent him the list of traits. So all along, throughout all those discussions, he had definitely already known, had already been told he was one, had already read the traits, but was acting like he knew nothing about psychopathy. I'm still not sure what prompted him to admit it that one time. Maybe he just wanted me to tell him he wasnt.

They know they are different, they just don't see themselves for what they really are. They always lie about everything, to everyone, and the one they lie to most is their self. They eat their own lies like flies eat S##T.

They approach the world like someone approaches a game. If they lose, they just start over. If a video game said to the gamer "hey gamer, you are just playing me", the gamer would scoff and return to the game. If the video game console shut off, broken, never to be played again... the gamer would be forced buy a new game;however, when the game console is broken it may just get thrown against a wall by the angry gamer out of spite.

The psychopath know only one game:that is the game of deception. It fears nothing, not even the truth.

I think that they are perfectly aware of their mental illness (my ex-psychopath admitted to me and one of her lovers that she was "crazy" for example), but according to what I read, psychopaths (or sociopaths) consider feeling empathy, being able to love and the like not strengths but weaknesses in normal people, which of course they are willing to exploit.

I wrote it is easy to see their manipulations. It is true but the manipulations goes so deep that there is a lot I dont see and they change their way of doing it all the time. The few times I have met him, i thought I saw when he manipulated me, but when comming home I realised I was "taken" into it again.

I am for the Third time Reading "Without conscincer ( Hare) it is just amasing. I would have liked studying this myself, because these people are so different . Well I almost feel like a student because I have studied this now for hundred of hours. Still it is more to dig!

This one I think its good , if it wasnt so horrible. The man I was With ( I never Call him mine, he was not ever mine, and for me writing in that direction makes it like it still is some Connection between us. )

When I started to come out of the fog, it was in rage. I have never felt anything like it, The man was so "out of it" for some weeks and went With me to therapy. Stupid me hoped for changes.

He still goes there but now he goes there not for changing behaver, but he have found out that he response som much to other Peoples needs so he need help With that. It is just fantastic and almost unbelivebel.!!