Victims of Psychopaths Community Group
Is he or she a sociopath or psychopath? Think we're only talking about serial killers here? Psychopaths, sociopaths and even narcissists come in every walk of life, every career level, and every socio-economic category.
Every morning I wake up with tachycardia and with the feeling I lost him. Then I take some minutes to rationalized the reality of who he is and I feel better. Do you had the same experience the first months well or it's only me?
I remember I had short breath and heart racing when he was with me. Maybe it's a consequence of all this mess. hanks for the suggestion. If it continues I was go to check it out.
Your body was giving you signals that there were something not right.
I will be back tomorrow, its late in night here and will try go to sleep...lol..I tend to be a night owl :)
In the beginning, when i used to wake up in the morning, the moment i open my eyes and get attuned to waking up, i used to feel as if i cant breathe at all as if someone is suffocating me and the pain and hurt used to come with such force... all the memories used to come up with such a force, and i used to feel utterly depressed. i went to a doctor, he prescribed me anti-depressants. eventually i took it for a month or less and stopped it... the feeling continued for more than 2 months not exactly sure how long...
even the mention of it scares me... for nothing in my life would i ever want to go through such feeling again... I just want you to know that it will get better... though you may not feel it right now.. but it will surely get better...
there are stages of grieving and may be fore me when i was in denial mode, i used to feel that i am losing control of something, i can still change him and get the good times back...and that gave me severe anxiety as if i was strecthed tight and i felt any thing i do or any small movement will make me loose him completely...
it took me long time to realise that its not in my control anyways and nothing that i would do can change him as a person and turn things to normal.. once that seeped in.. i got better...
i still have times when all of a sudden i feel breathless.. and as if everything is my fault and i can still do something to reverse the things.... but i am much better then earlier...
Hugs to you Nutellina, I very welll know how you feel, i wish there was a way to make you feel better.
Well, I do have panic attacks when awake too, not sure to call it panic attack, but if someone comes close to from behind and I dont notice I get scared to death, I throw what I have in my hand and turn around fast as to be sure I protect myself from..I dont know..maybe being attacked. I had sometimes the same in shower not seeing what can be there if having soap in my eyes, but that has gotten better by the years.
I've recently started looking at my recovery and healing from PTSD with a more holistic approach. I'm reading this book called "Healing is Voltage" which is a fascinating and scientific account and view of the human body as a electrical being. I had the experience this past week where I finally understood why I feel so drained in his presence. He is really stealing my electrons and amerage from me as he cannot generate his own! After a weekend with him I came down with the flu and with strep throat. I think it was meant to stop me in my tracks and make the association that he literally is draining my life force away from me when I am with him. Long story short, part of what I read about in my research to getting well was that many of us are deficient in magnesium. Most health food stores sell something called CALM which is an effervescent magnesium beverage that can be drunk like tea. Magnesium specifically stills a racing heartbeat and also helps one feel calm and safe. Just a suggestion but you may want to pick some of that up and try it. I'm going to write more about my research on this subject under a different heading but wanted to reach out to you to let you know that I've had the same sensations you describe. Take good care of yourself. You are worthy.