When I finally got the strength to break up with my ex, in a unprecedented moment of honesty (or something) he told me:
"Listen carefully because I will never say this again, and I might even do everything in my power to refute what I'm about to say. But if you want to protect yourself, get as far the fuck away from me as you can. And never stopping running because I will never stop chasing you. I'll never stop trying to get you back, and if I do I will never stop hurting you. If you know what's good for you, don't take me back."

He kept his word. We've been apart for two years now and I moved three provinces away and he still pursues me on a regular basis. One time I had the strength to confront him and tell him I won't take him back, just like he warned me not to. And he denied, denied. Said that at the time when he said that he meant it, because he was a bad person then and he was "fucked up" - but that now he was a totally different person. He used very dramatic expressions like "that person I was then has died- he's not me. That person doesn't exist anymore. I am 100% a new person, just in the same body." But, as far as I'm concerned, this charade was all part of his warning to me. I personally believe in a god and a devil, and I think for one moment during the night we broke up, God spoke to me through him and gave me the warning I needed to get away and stay away forever. I will not forget this gift of momentary honesty that my ex showed. It was certainly not typical of him to be honest (unless it would benefit him, which was also not the case here).

I hope this was helpful in some way. I've been a member of this support group for almost two years now, but I've never had the courage to actually post anything. I just felt compelled to share this story with you.:)

Wow! Thank you:) I'm so glad you did. And good for you - you are strong.
I wish I would've believed mine when he warned me.

I appreciate that post, too, EJDJ. Very well stated.

Wow EJDJ, that's amazing that he had such a moment of clarity. I'd love to hear the rest of your story if you ever feel like sharing here.

The last psychopath I was with actually told me on the phone one time that he believed he was a psychopath and that he was evil. At this point, I had already been studying psychopathy for 5 years and talked about it almost all the time. So I assumed he was saying this as a response to my constant lectures on psychopathy. Like when you start to learn about psychology, you get paranoid and start diagnosing yourself with everything. I assumed, and said, that I thought he was doing that. No. He was just having a moment of clarity.

Yes mine also admitted in passing that he was a SP even early on - but I couldn't believe it as it was love bombing stage still strong.
Just after the baby and all the fighting. He said, " take the child support and run..don't ever look back. I will always Want to hurt and destroy you and that's not fair". Fair? Since when was fair ever a part of his repertoire!

Yes he did. About 6 months into our relationship....we were already living together. We had just had sex and were lying in each other's arms. He said to me " I am a bad man. I am not good for you. You should find someone else." I of course disagreed because I felt so bad for him that he thought so little of himself, that he had been beaten into this by his ex. I remember crying about it and trying to convince him otherwise. I believe that this was his way of saying "Hey, I warned you and you did not listen. You deserve everything you get now, stupid." Here I felt awful for him and he was playing a very dark game.

Also, about 4 days before the whole house of cards fell and it was only a couple of confusing tidbits that were coming to light he said something to me that I will never forget. We were washing dishes together and I just knew that something was not right, I had slumped to the floor and was crying. He sat on the kitchen floor with me and told me to look at him. I did. He said "No matter what happens, you have to know that none of this was your fault. Don't believe anything was your fault." 4 days later his criminal life came to light and after 2 months of detective work I had uncovered: 33 affairs, contacts with prostitutes, grooming my 13 year old niece for sex, theft from my mother and his boss that amounted to about 25K, sex with men and transvestites, and child porn on our digital devices. Virtually nothing he told me about his childhood was the truth, morals and values were all lies, I did not know that man. I had him put in jail and he was eventually deported. I still have no idea why he tried to relieve me of self-blame. Since then he has tried to smear me and convince the world that I am a liar. He has never admitted to ANYTHING. I had evidence though and people really believe evidence so it was futile on his part.

The warnings in my opinion make their game more interesting. How much fun would it be if the victim rolled over and just died. Gotta play with his prey first.

Wow! Yep all of you. I felt the same way - oh you poor man -how could you feel so poorly about yourself - you're amazing! Barf.

P#1 did that whole act about how low his self-esteem was, how bad his home life was. We were living in a communal situation on an organic educational farm. He was the head cheese (pun intended). As soon as we arrived, he started an affair with a female staffer our daughter's age. In order to pull this off in a tight-knit community, he portrayed that his self-esteem was so low, his home life so bad. Meanwhile, he was walking around holding hands with this young girl. We lived there. I was in the house. I was the one whose self-esteem was shattered. He was verbally abusing me, and hitting me and causing my ostracism from our new community. When the young woman figured out he was shit, he moved on to the teenage interns. I left. A bunch of these former interns who attended the local college talked to each other at a party a year later, discovered he ahd sexually abused them all, went to his boss, and got him fired. I told him when I left (I had caught him over and over and had proof), "I won't have to do a thing." He had asked me what I was going to do about it. He had so trashed me that no one would have believed me, but I knew he would hang himself. :))))

I am grateful he told me he is a psychopath because I knew where to look years later and to heal myself.
But his behavior is the biggest warning sign and the bragging about past relationships so I can establish the pattern.

I call them psychopathic 'outs' when he would reveal his true self.

It was like his version of a conscience because he had no capacity for introspection at all.

He said many things in jest that really were the bona fide truth, jokes about destroying me, keeping me down (wow what a comedian huh?), once after a big argument which resulted in a lot of begging and crying from me we were talking and he said casually 'some people just enjoy hurting other people, it's like pulling the wings off flies'.

PSYCHO!

Of course by that point I was in deep and in big denial. I couldn't believe that he truly meant that, but why say it?

Then of course after I had my daughter he 'joked' again about hurting her. Winding her one day I commented how hard it was to bring her wind up. 'Have you tried stamping on her head, have you tried swinging her round by the legs?' Along with the casual comment why not pick her up by the ears when she was crying.

Jokes, sarcasm and the odd weird comment that revealed his inner self and motivations were strange back then but now chilling when I look back. Psychopathic outing of who he really was. Not really a conscience or a warning even as such, just a way of conditioning you to their ongoing and worsening behaviour.

Hope it's okay to bump this thread. I was given a warning- I wish I had listened to it. Again, like many of you I dismissed it...

I had plans to see him one night and he wouldn't let me in the door. He lied that he wasn't home. I knew he was lying so I showed up to confront him about it...he said "I can't do this to people anymore. I can't hurt people. I don't trust myself to be alone with you."

If I had only listened and done NC then, I would have saved myself the horror of the rape and months more of psychological abuse. It's chilling really.

No way. My S expected me to one day say I would marry him. Then he wouldn't have to pay back the loans he got from me and have his secret affairs on the side. Why would he want to mess up a good thing by telling the truth. Problem is, I finally told him I couldn't commit to him. So, then there was hell to pay. Revenge of some sort is always their way.

WOW! Thanks for sharing your story EJDJ! I know I am responding a bit later than I wanted to, but OMG, this has made me reflect. You know those times where he told me he used to be a wedding crasher (Funny at the time, not so much now, Masks???), or he was an "opportunist", or he is only going to "drag me down".

The drag me down thing was common throughout our whole relationship. He led me to believe that he has been a victim of this that and the other, and I felt like such an amazing man truly deserves to be with a strong woman who will love and support him unconditionally.

The other two, well those were situational and came up as we were discussing family issues or current events that unfolded those comments. I just thought he was joking around and dismissed it.

I just feel like if I ever get into a relationship again, I am going to sound like him.... "be careful, I don't deserve you after all I have been through", and then I will be the Psycho! :(

Mine said more than once, "you have no idea what I am capable of." Now that I know what he is, that thought chills me.

On the lighter side, he once told me frankly that he married me because he could make me squeak and I would take it or fight back. Apparently, that was entertaining.