I suffered a spinal injury while in the military that left me periodically incontinent and had to wear adult diapers while undergoing treatment. I hid it for years while still serving. Army uniforms are pretty baggy, so that was no problem. My wife was harder to hide, but I managed by sleeping in a separate room saying my back hurt to sleep with another. After treatment for the physical injuries (about 3 years and 2 surgeries) the symptoms seemed to subside, and I started sleeping with my wife again. This worked great for a few months until I started having muscle spasms, anxiety attacks, cramps, and nightmares. I was prescribed Buspirone and Lamotrigine. I found my wife violently shaking me and yelling that I was wetting the bed. This probably was a factor in our later divorce. Now, I do not advertise my incontinence, nor do I hide it. I have recently reconnected with a lady I liked in high school and we seem to be hitting it off. we have not become intimate yet. But, I explained my situation to her, and she was very understanding. In fact we are planning a vacation together.

I have this fear too, I get what you're going through. I'm lucky to have a husband who's been with me through a whole lot of health issues. When you find the right person, they will accept you for who you are, issues and all. If they don't, then you hadn't found the right person yet!

Yes I've had a few issues with intimacy in the past and it can be really stressful but if you have an understanding partner it really helps.

Yes, I also have big issues with intimacy, almost to the point I could call it a phobia (if there is such a phobia). This was made from several things and having to wear a nappy to bed is certainly a part of it and I'd say I've all but given up now on ever having a relationship.

I agree with stpaulmom. Do not be ashamed, there are many people who will love you regardless. Just don't give up.

H,ve been incontinence for awhile really wonder if this has made me less of a man? Being diaper dependent.

Sorry to tell you, but you won't get past it anytime soon unless you find somebody that you truly love and your partner loves you back. If you want to have a one-night stand with a person you barely know, you will be afraid. You will be terrified in thought of what will she say when something like this happens. You can't change, but as far as it goes to intimate relations with person you love and that you know, somebody that you know has your back then there won't be a problem, trust me. If accident happens, so what? She knew about your problems and she loves you, she won't break up with you or laugh at you out of sudden. I know, because I had this problem and it was affecting me strongly when I was young and I was trying to have my share of "girls". It didn't work for me, I was afraid on a thought of having sex with somebody that I have just met and she can react negatively to my problem. Everything changed when I met my wife, the only girl I truly love and I know she loves me as well in spite of me being incontinence, which isn't such an big problem for her. Actually she even told me that she doesn't care about it at all. Accident happened? No big deal, get cleaned up and let's move on! You shouldn't think so hard about it, even though I know you will at the beginning, every single one of us had this problem I can bet.