hi maria. this new world we live in just has less color doesnt it? i lost my husband 16 1/2 months ago...and it still hurts every day. i am so sorry for your loss...i don't know how i've made it this far. just get up everyday and take care of the things that need my care...my daughter, our animals, all the trivial little things in life. I wish i had good answers for your question...the only thing i can tell you is it's one day...one hour..sometimes one breath at a time. you have come to an awesome place of understanding and love...i hope being a member of ds helps you. this is my safe place, and i welcome you to it, even tho it's a membership we never wanted or expected to have. peace my friend.

My husband died 31 days ago and I have to agree with you I don't find its getting any easier but we have to tell ourselves we have come this far we are doing well. I did not think I would survive for 31 minutes without him let alone 31 days but we have to go on. Finding DS has been a big help to me and I know this has been getting me through each day, knowing that there are people with similar stories and knowing that what we are all feeling is normal. My thoughts are with you. Take care. x

Hi Maria,
I know what you are going through. I wish I could tell you it will get better but it hasnâ??t for me. Missing her rips through me every day. I used to sleep in bed but I canâ??t anymore. I get such broken sleep, the thoughts that run through my mind never stop, and they just keep going and going. I sleep on the coach with the TV on. It drowns out everything else. I decide not to try and run away from my feelings and just let them go, I cry a lot at night. I learned that itâ??s a release for me. I also write a lot, in a journal and sometime on this site. It helps because I get what I want to say out. People around me donâ??t understand. They all look to move on but I canâ??t yet. They wonâ??t even bring her up anymore. Like she just disappeared. Just yesterday I had to explain to one of my friends that I will never be the same again. I lost the only person that every made me feel good on a bad day. I lost that person that I could turn to and talk too about anything. That person that would listen and understand. I know they mean well but itâ??s sad that they just donâ??t get it. I am learning to accept what has happened. I really have no choice because the alternative was not working. I am also learning that Death is so permanent. I was in denial thinking she would still be with me somehow? She would visit me, in my dreams or other ways. Like the movie Ghost? It was one of her favorites. It never happened. I donâ??t think it ever will.

Wish you well.

I know what you mean Mark has been gone 5 months and just when i think i am getting a little better i start to fall apart. I just cry all the time. My life seems to stand still and i can't get moving. I miss Mark more and more everyday and what can I do. I wish i was with him in heaven. My heart aches and i hate being sad all the time. I feel like i will never be happy again. Hugs, norma

I think that eventually, you start to create your new reality, still missing them, but also able to function. Doesn't mean you don't love them and wish they were here - I think it just means that you've come to terms with the fact that YOU'RE still here and the best way to show how much they meant to you is to live.

Just one woman's opinion....HUGS

I had to hit rock bottom before I could make choice to live. After drinking a bottle of wine one night not to long ago I started taking sleeping pills. When I got to #6 I freaked out, what was I thinking. I got up made myself sick and at that time made the choice to go on with out Bruce. That was the turning point for me. I don't even drink! I know now that every day I can think of him and smile because we loved each other so much and I also know that I am alive and can love again. This month will be 9 months, I still miss him but I can't be unhappy forever.

i dont know if i'll ever love again, its unimaginable, but, sadwithouthim, if u manage too then i say well done because i feel that must be harder than the grief itself.tc xx

gel1968 it is going to be 9 months for me this week. My boys are 19 and 21 both in love. I am so alone all the time, I am so outgoing that I just can't seem to think I can spend the rest of my life like I am now. I just turned 50 BUT DATING yes that will be as hard as the grief. I have told all my friends I am ready but, I am not sure, just tired of being alone all the time.........Susan

I lost my husband 3 months ago and i wish i knew when the pain would end.

I am not sure this pain ever ends...I think we just get better at dealing with it....

Hi, my name is Alan. I lost my wife of 42 years almost 4 years ago unexpecdidly. No, you never get over it you somehow just learn to live with it. The challenges you all have to face is just beginning, I have yet to learn to date, shop, go out and do things for myself. Todays world is so different.

only 16 days since I lost my husband and it hurts so bad. I cry all the time and miss him so bad.

My husband died suddenly 21 months ago. I have heard the grieving process for a sudden death, though not worse, is different. I think we had a tremendous shock to our system and our world. We are the walking wounded. While I am better than I was last year...I just realized that I am fragile and this is not a straight line...it is up and down..and when I think I am ok, I am not. Thinking of you and sending prayers your way.

Kathy

it has been 15 months for me. I lost david in a motorcycle accident on july 4 2009 after i insisted that he go out with his friends. i was sick and he wanted to stay home and take care of me and i told him to go have fun. he lost control of his bike shortly after he left.
The pain for the first year was unbearable. i was devastated daily and never thought the crying would end. i fell asleep in pain and woke up in pain. often when i woke up, i just wanted to die.
I found support groups and journaled. i stopped acting like i was "OK" for everyone who wanted me to be ok. i learned i needed to bawl my eyes out until i stopped.
the first year sucks. i can tell you tho that i am 3 months into my second yr and life is noticeably better. i had to make a decision to LIVE again and not just exist.
it's really hard and it totally sucks but hang in there - i promise it gets better. people used to tell me that and i didn't beleive it but the old cliche is true - time heals..
wishing all of you peace
lisa

It gets harder, then it seems to be a little easier, then it all hits again and so it goes. It will never be the same. There are times I think I will wake up from this dream, but the reality that I won't is always in my heart. It will be 5 months on November 8th and I can barely comprehend the time that has passed. I go through each day doing what I must, looking for the answer to "what is my life to be?" I think the only thing to do now is take it one day at a time. I know staying in the house every day will only make it harder, so I am really trying to reach out to find a comfort zone. I honestly have a hard time even going to church, the emptiness of being there without my dear husband is very painful. Time is on our side . . . for everything there is a season and as my husband always said, "tomorrow comes make the best of it."

Take care,
Linda