Twins, Triplets & More Support Group
Triplets & More","This community connects people seeking information and experiences about multiple births. Different names for multiple birth are used, depending on the actual multiple. Common multiples are two and three, known as twins and triplets respectively. Share your thoughts and find whatever support you need."
Do any of you mommies out there have any advice/experience on how to get through NICU time with your sanity intact? My twins were born at 34 weeks and though they are doing pretty well (no oxygen needed, no infections, and both feeding by mouth by day 2), I can't help but feel overwhelmed every time I go in to see them. I am still so guilty and angry at my body for not cooperating and keeping them in longer, and every time one of them struggles with anything it absolutely kills me. Our little boy is a much better feeder than our little girl for example, and while I know that some of this is because he was a little bigger at birth it's still heartbreaking to see her lag behind even a little. The nurses try to be realistic with you which is good but also sometimes makes you feel awful. What were your experiences with the NICU and do you have any tips?
The thing that helped me -- BE THERE as much as you can. I tried to be there for every feeding, and just hold and cuddle my baby after the feedings before I left. It helped me to know I was being an active participant and not just sitting on the side lines. And after that ASK QUESTIONS (if you want to know what they are doing, ASK...don't feel like you can't) and then ASK FOR HELP. Some of my night feedings were a challenge and holding my son with all the cords and wires was a chore too...the nurses would ALWAYS help me when I asked and by doing so I felt it lowered that intimidation factor and opened up our communication better.
NICU can be scary, but your babies are doing GREAT and so are you!
Is your husband able to accompany you at all? I found having him there helped calm me down and regroup and stop freaking out at every little thing. And I was constantly asking the nurses questions and trying to understand what the next steps were and what exactly they were watching for. We had to learn to feed our not-good-eater which was awful because he seemed barely conscious and his 02 stats would drop and ugh. It was just so bad. But there were a few nurses who were really great so I befriended them, and a few pedi's I grew to like. They got muh better about communicating - and as long as I felt like I knew what was going on I felt a little better. One of the night nurses would write us a "note" from my less-healthy son so we could read how he did - feedings, poop, weight gain etc. I still have them and they still make me cry (happy tears when I read them). Ok I have rambled on long enough and probably haven't said anything helpful - just want you to know you aren't alone and you WILL get through this.