I am so sorry you are feeling this way. It was COMPLETELY NORMAL. If it helps I completely remember the feelings you are having. I remember another twin mommy said to me "just get through the first 3 months and it will be better" I thought the lady was crazy but she was right. I call it the 3 month fog it does lift. my guys were in the NICU for 3 weeks and I tried and tried to breastfeed but they could not do it. I pumped and literally was dragging me down. After three months I stopped and it was the best thing for me and the boys. Big Hugs!!

I called on all of my friends and family to help. I realized very quickly that I needed support to get through and I think you do as well. Sister, friends, cousins, aunts, uncles, anyone to give you time to rest or be with your 5 year old. Don't be afraid to get some help.

Yes, depression and just feeling very overwhelmed is totally normal. For the first 3 months after our twins were born, my husband took off of work or worked at home, enabling us to get a great routine together. I remember when he was going to go back to working full time at the office I thought, "now what?", and felt panicked. I reached out to my mom to come a few days a week to help with feedings etc., and it really helped. Mind you, it wasn't easy having her here since our relationship is a bit tense, but it helped me to get other things done and ensure that the babies always had their needs met, especially since our girl twin was colicky until 4 1/2 months. Now the twins are 9 months and I am just getting to a point where I feel more comfortable caring for them alone. So yeah, ask for help and accept it when it is offered. For example, is there a way that a relative could come help with a feeding after your husband gets home from work so you can have some special time with your 5 year old? Also, the pumping thing is super draining at first but it does get a bit easier. I pumped (mostly) and breastfed (occasionally, they were never great at it either), and now that they have teeth I am exclusively pumping. It has been hard but for me it worked. I rented a hospital pump which was way more effective than mine, and I now pump 5 times a day, sleep through the night (until my kids wake up at 6), and still get 10-15 oz per pump. However, if I pumping ever became so stressful that I felt like it was taking away from my time with my kids, or making me unhappy I would have had no problem giving formula. You have to do what is best for you AND the babies...without that balance it doesn't work. Good luck with it all, and message me if I can help more!

Hugs, it does get better! My hubby went back to work after two weeks and I remember being so afriad to be home alone with the boys! I can say that what you are feeling is normal and it really will pass. As others have said, use all of the family and friends that you can to help you. I had a "I want to do it on my own mentality" that made me crazy. It's funny because I look back at pics of the early weeks and I don't even remember half of those days. Know you are not alone and don'ot be afraid to ask for help if it gets too much.

yep my twins were in the hospital 2 weeks and it does get overwhelming. My babies too had a hard time with pumping. it was wearing me out my kids could nurse directly from me and by the time they got big enough to try, they didn't want to so I switched to bottle feeding and formula and it got so much better.

Agreement with the others that it sounds like you're on you own once your hubby goes back to work so def try to get some help from friends, family, neighbors... anyone who offers that you trust. You will get through this and seriously after a few months it won't be so hard anymore.

Thank you so much for all the replies. It really does help to know that these feelings are normal.

BEEN THERE -- my twins didn't need the oxygen or meds, but the whole feeding, pumping, feeding, pumping cycle WITH a toddler running around...it's exhausting! IT DOES GET BETTER but honestly for me it took me taking steps for myself to get to that better place. I had to give up on breastfeeding altogether -- and then hire someone to come in and help clean the house for awhile until I could heal and get my feet under me.

Those things might not be what you need for you...but the key is to figure out WHAT you need for YOU and then get some help in those areas. GOOD LUCK!

You'll be ok you just don't know it yet. Definitely get them on the same feeding schedule, adjust them 15 min over two feds and you'll be there. IE feed one 15 late the other 15 early 2x's, 15 mins is not enough to cause them any problems. I can almost guarantee you that the nicu did not keep them on an exact to the min. schedule, so it will be ok. I pump for my girls and feed them in boppies but you can tandem nurse, nurse one while bottle feeding the other switching at each meal.

Try and find some help even if someone can only stay an hour that can be one shower and a 45 min nap. If you are part of a church see if they have a meal service for new parents. Try and find a multiples group to join. The point is get yourself a support system because it makes all the difference in the world. Sending you a hug!

My thoughts and prayers are with you. I have b/g twins and if it wasn't for the help of my family and my husband's family, I think I would've lost it. I was also getting a little depressed for a while, but I got through that with the help of my husband. Is there a way that your husband can give you a two - three hour break when he gets back from work. When my husband went back to work, as soon as he got home, he used to take over from 7:00 - 10:00pm and that was my time to sleep. Then I took over for the night. It was hard, but we got through it. Good luck and God bless.