I had family and friends come over all the time to help. With newborn twins, I found it was so much easier if someone could hold one of them for me. That allowed me to eat, use the bathroom etc. If not your mom, others? Good luck

If you can get the help, take it even if it means dealing with your mom. My DH & I have taken care of our two by ourselves since day one and we're whooped at 8 months!

I agree with tgirls26. You will feel better if you have a little exrea help. It can mean the world when you can get up and go have a hot cup of tea and a piece of toast. I once went all day before I ate, because I just forgot to eat. i am a diabetic and could have passed out. It is hard soem days and you might really appreciate the help.

It seems like a good idea if you can afford it . . . even with my singleton DS many people recommended a doula to me. We did not get one though.
Maybe if you are concerned about the money, you could try it on your own and then if it is too hard get help.
If they are hold enough (older than 6 months) maybe you could put them in day care two mornings a week or something. That might be cheaper and give you a break at least to rest or catch up on chores?
Best of luck!

My girls are 13 months now. At first we had help. Then after the 2nd month no help. My husband & I do it all by ourselves and it is draining. Any help would be appreciated, even my MIL who drives me nuts would be nice! As for the housework, he has learned to help with some cleaning or he watches the girls so I can clean. You really learn how to become a team!

Good luck ;)

We had no help at all but my husband was home for the first 3 mos. After that, I was on my own til I went back to work and it wasn't too bad b/c the girls napped a lot. After I went back to work, girls were in daycare. Good luck :-)

I would have given anything for some help! It has just been me and DH the whole time. Also we have learned that our house will just never be the same and that is OK. Our sink has dishes in it, the laundry isnt always put away, but our babies are played with and loved. Its all about survival during the first year!!!!...maybe longer (we havent gotten past 9mo yet lol)

My husband was home the 3 months of my maternity leave and then he was by himself with the babies during the day for 6 months after that. We didn't get any extra help, but it was definitely stressful at times. We didn't get help because we couldn't afford it, but if you can I think getting some help is a good idea!

I have no family who live near us....and yes I do have friends, but they have families of their own so I can't really "depend" on that. I am researching a house cleaning service. I have a 2 story house that is over 3k square feet....and it's ALREADY too much fo rme to clean with my 17 month old and being pregnant. I don't see me being able to keep up with that the first 6 or 8 months or so! If someone can come over to hang out wiht me otherwise so I can - oh say SHOWER - then I'd take it in a heartbeat.

Agreed.... you may think that you can handle the stress of being by yourself with the kids but help of any kind is essential. I found myself all alone at 3 in the morning with 2 crying babies (about 3 months old) who wouldn't stop crying and my husband was at work (night shift) and being so very tired I couldn't take it anymore. I put the kids down crying in their crib and called my sister (who lives 2 hours away) and bawl and bawled about how I must be such a terrible mother that I couldn't calm my own kids down.... She willingly and without grudge gave me all sorts of suggestions that she had found helpful and I'll never forget that. She was able to help even though she wasn't there. Sometimes you just need someone. Be willing to take the help where its offered. All to soon the help will go away but anything to give an extra pair of hands can help you get housework done and a much needed rest when maybe you didn't realise you really needed it. You will be greatful for it then.

I was very lucky - my mother pulled her camper over and "moved in" to my driveway for a few weeks. We are really close, and she was good about giving me space while still being there when I needed her. There is no way that I could have done it without some sort of help. Good luck! It's so much work at first, but definitely worth it every day!!!

It was the most insane time of my life.

Our twins came home from their over 4 month stay in the NICU a week apart, and came home with oxygen and monitors.

I don't believe my husband and I slept more than a couple of hours every other day for the week, we were scared out of our minds.

Then the 2nd baby came home, and my Mom tried to help. Well, she also brought the stomach flu into the house unknowingly...and we ALL got it. There was stuff flying EVERYWHERE, we started laying down towels and sheets, feeding the babies pedisure only, trying to keep them okay. And of course, WE had it too! And everyone was afraid to come near us because of contagion. My neighbors and my Dad dropped off more Pediasure and supplies at the front door, rang the doorbell and left.

Anyway, I went back to work after 5 weeks, and my hubby is a Stay At Home Dad. I've got the insurance and the paycheck, so that is that. I think the first couple of months was incredibly hard for him, and I tried to shorten my time here to be home more. Plus, since our kids have had such intense medical needs (oxygen for one, and then a feeding tube for the other, and I won't even go into the choking/CPR/ER trips), the stress level has been high.

Yes, if you can afford someone twice a week for maybe 4 hours, do it for your sanity and help. But if you can't - here's the nice part...you will be able to do whatever it takes. You will. You will do it. You're a parent, and you will find a way, trust me. You may get a little crazy sometimes, you may just let the kids cry for 15 minutes in their cribs and walk outside to BREATHE maybe once or twice, but you will do it.

Get lots of coffee, sleep when they nap. And honestly, there is something almost mystical about being up at 3am with a baby. I took the night feeds even though I was working out of the house because I really enjoyed that time, and it is much easier for me to wake up and go back to sleep than my hubby. When he's up, he's up. I enjoyed those quiet morning hours, and I was lucky that my twins enjoyed being held and cuddled, so they would stop fussing and calm down. I sang to them, told them stories, and let them sleep a little in my arms before putting them back in their cribs, fed and content. I will always cherish those memories with a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye.

It's crazy, it's insane, but it's absolutely worth it. And when they start crawling and standing, they will play with each other, share toys, and then start communicating in strange and outright funny ways. Have that camera handy!

Thanks ladies, I appreciate the advice! I have been testing out the waters with having my mom here to help one day a week for now while my husband is still home and it's been rocky. My mother was quite abusive to me when I was growing up and though we reconciled when I got to be an adult, I guess I never really got over it. I think once my husband goes back to work more frequently we'll hire a nanny or mother's helper to come for a few hours a day. I definitely am beginning to realize how much I will need the help because our girl has become colicky...thank goodness her brother is still our mellow baby! Oh and Amystrong, I feel your pain because I just got over the stomach flu and now my husband has it. Thankfully so far the babies don't and I am praying they won't...I hope my milk will help them fight it off! Twins certainly are nuts!

I had my parents come stay with me for 3 weeks after the babies were born & it was a HUGE help but was also kind of overwhelming. I feel like the first few weeks all I wanted to do was bond & spend time with my babies & my parents were very excited & wanted to hold them as much as possible. At the end of the day I would find myself quite sad feeling like I didn't get to hold them or love on them as much as I wanted! My husband works full time & wasn't able to stay home with us. As much as I loved having them here, I was VERY eager to try things on my own and have my babies all to myself (I'm allowed to be selfish,right?). If you do have help, I suggest just having help for a couple days at a time.

I have been on my own with the twins for 2 weeks now & LOVE IT! It's a lot of work, don't get me wrong, & I am very happy when my hubby comes home from work, but it's so great knowing that I can care for my boys alone!

I am very surprised how easily I have adjusted & have had no problems with finding time for the cooking & cleaning. I usually nap when they nap in between feedings until about 2 or 3 p.m. and then have a cup of coffee which gives me the energy I need to get stuff done around the house! It's working for me! Good luck!