Twins, Triplets & More Support Group

Triplets & More","This community connects people seeking information and experiences about multiple births. Different names for multiple birth are used, depending on the actual multiple. Common multiples are two and three, known as twins and triplets respectively. Share your thoughts and find whatever support you need."

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/ Twins, Triplets & More Support Group

Breast feeding....

deleted_user
deleted_user
I breast fed my daughter for 6 months....now she's 14. I have twins now and am breast feeding and supplimenting....which I did not do with her... Now I'm doing breast and formula rotations. I almost gave up on breasting...in the first week like I almost did 14 years ago...but got through the hell and pain until I got to the good part....where you feel like you have pretty much pain free feedings and the babies like it....it's comforting to them...and it's bonding and all that...and not to mention HEALTHY!! I've been asked a million times already "are you breast feeding?" and I'm proud to say yes...or maybe it's not pride I feel but more like I just gave them the answer they wanted and relief that I don't see the other look of disapointment or judgement....but it's never enough for people.

You have to breast feed right? no. I hate that judgement. and...if you are supplimenting..it's not as good? wrong...I hate that too. Also if you don't do it for years and years -is it just cheating the babies out of all that's good in the world? NO! Honestly I really don't get this...I don't really enjoy it. I want to quit but my guilt propels me forward.

Society has made me feel bad that I don't want to do this for them...how selfish right? well not true. I did IVF 4 times. I took a million shots in my ass for these children to be here. I lost twins and had to deal with that heart ache. I had 3 surgeries to my uterus. I had a horrible pregnancy, i got diabetes, i got bad swelling and every symptom under the sun, I bled throughout the pregnancy, my perky breasts are gone and so is my flat stomach...and yet...I love these girls with all my heart. I love my 14 year old with all my heart...but I want something for me...my body back and my freedom from nursing. I want my breasts to stop leaking and I want my nipples to stop burning all the time, and for people to stop giving me advice and for people to stop judging me, and I want to buy pretty bras again and have sex and feel sexy. It's been sooo long I forgot what it feels like.

I think you can have bonding and healthy kids without breast milk....In fact I know many kids who never nursed and they're so healthy and happy...and I know a baby who was breast fed for 2 years who always seemed to have a runny nose and ear infections...my nephew. So can't I just get passed this? Is it so wrong to feel this way?????
scubagal
scubagal
You are not wrong to feel this way. I breastfed my twins, and had to supplement. It was very hard and I was only able to do it for 4 months. My milk production just couldn't keep up. I would have done it longer if I could have, but I completely understand how you feel. My mother said that she never breastfed, and I was a healthy happy kid. At some point, you have to think of yourself as well as the little ones. You cannot be the best mom you can be if you are unhappy and frustrated all the time. On top of taking care of the little ones, you really do have to care for yourself too. Hang in there!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I felt the same way as you when people asked. I tried for two months and then I couldn't anymore. According to the nurses and doctors I should've been pumping 12 times a day, plus brestfeed, plus supplement. It got to be too much and I was exhausted. Do what you think it's best. My kids have been on formula only since two months and they have not gotten sick once yet....(knock on wood). BTW, they will be 1 year old next week.

Congratulations and good luck.
deleted_user
deleted_user
First of all, twins are NOT the same as singles. I have spoken to many moms of twins who have chosen to breastfeed, and most of them have had to supplement, at least at first. Someone with a single baby judging us when they have no idea what having twins is all about is just plain stupid.

Secondly, I am a very strong believer in breastfeeding. I think everyone should try it. But I am pretty sure that the majority of the benefits of breastfeeding are passed on in the first few weeks. There are other benefits to continuing to breatfeed longer, but that is a personal choice. Honey, if you are miserable STOP for goodness sakes. It sounds like you have sacrificed a lot for these babies, and you have already given them a great start by breast feeding for the first part of their lives.

Now go buy yourself a pretty bra, treat yourself to a manicure, and congratulate yourself on being an amazing mom who knows that finding the balance between loving your kids and loving yourself is the best thing you can do for your little guys. Hugs! Nikkiann
deleted_user
deleted_user
I completely agree with you - there is so much pressure to breastfeed, but there are other things to consider, like the emotional health of mom! I firmly believe that you have to do what is right for YOUR family - everyone has different circumstances and I think there are many situations where the cons outweigh the benefits of breastfeeding. There is so much more to being a "good mom" than breastmilk. I have a SIL that had a son that wouldn't latch, so she pumped. She had major supply issues, so essentially she forced herself to pump every 3 hrs - even at night - for 7 months. Even though she was only getting 1-2 ounces (obviously she supplemented). She was a mess. She wasn't sleeping, she was very irritable, and the whole time she felt like an awful mom because she couldn't produce more milk. I felt so awful for her..that she didn't realize that her son needed her happy and healthy more than he needed that 1 or 2 ounces of milk.

But I know she felt pressure from society like you are and that is a big reason why she couldn't stop when she should have. I'm glad you realize that it's ok to stop. You're still a great mom because you are looking out for the welfare of your kids (which requires looking out for yourself too!).
deleted_user
deleted_user
hi, i saw your post just in passing. Congrats on your twins, and on deciding to bf them. I just wanted to comment that bf should not hurt, and if it does, either the babies are latching wrong, or you may have thrush. I would suggest you see a lactation consultant to see what the problem may be. That might make nursing more comfortable for you, and if that is the case, then you may decide to continue.

Every mom is entitled to reach her own bf goals. FOr some it maybe a day or two, others it may be years. For twins, usually they are born a bit early, and thus premature, so the bf can be esp.important to give them the best start in life and protect them from illnesses.

You may wish to join the bf support group on DS to get additional support and help. Good luck to you!
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