Trying To Conceive Support Group
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Just having another sad feeling day...
One of my good friends posted her pregnancy announcement on Facebook today. I already knew about the pregnancy as I was one of the first people she told, but it still stung to see it. And see all the excitement everyone got for her. She was really great with telling me about her pregnancy as she knew the struggle I am going through, so she let me know via text as she said when she was trying to get PG with her first baby, she got really upset when someone would tell her they were pregnant, and she would feel awkward because she wanted to show happiness and excitement for them but her immediate reaction was to be upset. So she wanted me to be able to have time to feel how I needed to feel when I heard the news instead of feeling like I would have to hide my sadness if she was right in front of me telling me the news.
I am so so happy for her and her beautiful family. But it is so hard to see how easily it happens for her. Her and her husband tried for 3 months for baby #1, and only two months for this baby! So during my TTC journey I have seen her through her first pregnancy, and now onto her second one. And I haven't even had one yet! Earlier this year they started trying for baby #2, and she got all excited saying that maybe I hadn't got pregnant yet so her and I could be PG together. Sadly that isn't the case :(
One of my good friends posted her pregnancy announcement on Facebook today. I already knew about the pregnancy as I was one of the first people she told, but it still stung to see it. And see all the excitement everyone got for her. She was really great with telling me about her pregnancy as she knew the struggle I am going through, so she let me know via text as she said when she was trying to get PG with her first baby, she got really upset when someone would tell her they were pregnant, and she would feel awkward because she wanted to show happiness and excitement for them but her immediate reaction was to be upset. So she wanted me to be able to have time to feel how I needed to feel when I heard the news instead of feeling like I would have to hide my sadness if she was right in front of me telling me the news.
I am so so happy for her and her beautiful family. But it is so hard to see how easily it happens for her. Her and her husband tried for 3 months for baby #1, and only two months for this baby! So during my TTC journey I have seen her through her first pregnancy, and now onto her second one. And I haven't even had one yet! Earlier this year they started trying for baby #2, and she got all excited saying that maybe I hadn't got pregnant yet so her and I could be PG together. Sadly that isn't the case :(
My friend also has been talking about another baby (she has 2 under 4 already), and has been saying the same about how cool it would be to be pregnant together. I don't think I agree. She's been through it twice, and it feels a little selfish to say this, but I kind of think it would take some of the specialness away from it if I had to share the experience. I also fear that she will get pregnant and I won't...and her already having 2 children would really make me feel like a failure.
I don't know why we do that to ourselves. It isn't at all that we are failures. Failing has nothing to do with it. I don't know why some of us have no trouble and others try and try. But I do firmly believe that everything happens for a reason. There are so many different factors, maybe something that isn't affected until years down the road!
Thinking of you! Stay strong and try to keep a positive attitude. I know it's hard...xoxo
I so understand your frustration. Soon my friend will be delivering her baby. A baby she was not trying to have well into my TTC journey. I have seen 3 friends through pregnancy announcements and almost to term when I was TTC before they even thought about having children. Just depressing and I can't seem to relax and adopt that "it'll happen" mentality. Instead I feel engulfed with frustration and jealousy so much of the time.
The last person at work who confided in me that they were pregnant really had a negative impact. They got pregnant right away on the 1st or 2nd month, and had actually come to me for advice prior knowing I had been trying. Just feels so unfair. I had to smile and hug and then do the ole private cry moments later.
I don't have any words of encouragement really, only to say you are not alone, and it is NOT fair. But we will be awesome, incredible mothers whose children are already teaching them about patience... or testing them ;)
I am seeing the RE for the first time on Thursday so I have that to focus on.
Try and take care of you right now. Avoid FB if you must, go shopping or out to lunch, or do something else to take your mind off it. I felt much better today after taking myself out for the afternoon.
I am definitely having a tough day today as well, as I just got my period, and I really thought this time was going to be it! I had all types of different symptoms that I haven't had before... I was praying this was it. I am getting soooo tired of these days, and being so heartbroken and defeated!!
With these people in my life, I chose to delete them from FB if we weren't really close friends, and for those of my friends who are expecting or have just had babies, I have 'unfollowed' them, so they are still my friends, but I don't have to deal with all of a sudden seeing a post from them, especially at a time when I might be having a weak moment or a tough time. There are days though, when I contemplate cutting myself off altogether... deleting FB, not leaving the house or going into town, just to save myself all the heartbreak!
it is so tough, and I really do feel for you. *hugs* our turns will come.. we just have to keep faith I suppose.
going to 'start trying' or when we're going to 'have kids'.... if only they knew. So tired of having to deflect those questions!! I had to attens a baby shower last week (baby was there, 2 months) it was so brutal I wanted to cry the entire time!!
I have had very similar feelings and can relate 100% to friends and loved ones announcing pregnancies. It hurts. But I haven't been around here all that long, and I'm curious, when one of us announces excitement about bfp, does that cause the same negative feelings? Is it better for us to keep it to ourselves if we get a bfp, in regards to our friends feelings? I have only had one friend on this board report bfp, and I remember feeling happy for her, but not only that, it gave me hope that it was possible for me, too. Like, see, she was in the same boat, and she found success, maybe I will too! But like I said, I'm new here and that was still only one experience.
What do the rest of you think?
I am also on a TTC group on Facebook that has 4000 members. And there is someone posting a BFP on a daily basis. I think it is a bit easier seeing them in these groups since, as you said, these women are in the same boat and it gives me hope that my time is coming soon :).