I figure any adult who is so stupid that they ask a question like that does not deserve the truth! There was another discussion about just this, and I forget who posted but it was like, "oh may I point out some of your flaws?" I was LOLing!

I cover my baldspots pretty well, but sometimes...not so good. I've only been asked about my hair probably less than 10 times (in decades) and my stock reply is, "oh it just grows that way, it's from stress. Don't worry, it's not contagious!" Not a complete lie, right?

I was so afraid to tell my daughter because I didn't want her to start experimenting with pulling, but the reality is the power of suggestion is not going to give someone trich. Either she has it or she doesn't. I'd suggest with the kids, because who knows what the parents want them to hear, is to say that everyone is different and we accept them however they look.

Many people do tell about their trich, which is a good way to educated people and get rid of the stigma. I'd been not talking about it for so long that I may be permanently stuck here, we'll see!

I agree, people are so rude! If it's a close friend who's genuinely worried about you or a kid who doesn't know better it's one thing, but random strangers should know it's none of their god damn business.

I wear a hat to work every day (cashiering), and I have been for the past several months. Customers ask me all the time why I wear a hat and if I have cancer. I just say "I don't like to talk about it" (or no to the cancer thing), but I just can't believe how many people ask. They don't even know me. Why do they think I want to tell them?

As for what to say, I think "I have alopecia" is a perfectly adequate response. Know a few basics about alopecia so you can explain it to people who ask what it is, but technically any hair loss is considered alopecia, so you aren't actually lying. :) "That's just the way my hair grows" or "I lose my hair due to stress" work too. No need to give too many details, unless you want to, of course.

"I don't like to talk about it" is a great response. When Adults ask me rude questions, I am usually likely to respond with "hmmm, why do you ask?" "I have a medical issue that causes hair loss" is also acceptable, if you want to go there. I haven't ever had a child ask me about my hair...so I'm not sure how I would respond. Other medical conditions such as thyroid disorders also often cause hairloss.

On this one, I have had the fortunate experience of being able to try the "oh, do you want this look as well?" to a group of rude adults in the grocery store. I got a round of applause for that from some other people the group had been bullying.
I would say to children that it is from a medical condition and is not contagious, and even let them touch it to see for themselves if they are afraid of it.
Best wishes!

The last time this happened to me I was at a work lunch at a round table and the girl next to me said to the person sitting on my other side..."Did you ever notice that (my name) doesn't have any eye lashes"...she did this obviously for everyone to hear and said it passing across me!!! I've had a lot of rudeness in my life, but this took the cake.

I think minimizing the situation is best in all cases -you cannot get angry or show any emotion -if you blow it off so will they. I wish I would have known about alopecia back in the day as that is my go to response now. I keep it short and simple -and with no emotion. Or I love the reply that someone posted about "oh do you want this look too"...LOL LOL LOL! Love it! Best ever.

I am extremely nervous around children as they are always the first to notice. I'm so loving summer as I have my sunglasses on all the time...I feel so free.

Remember, the key is to keep it under control -do not get excited or hostile...they will forget about it in no time. If it is a dear friend or relative, you may choose to tell them what is going on...but be prepared that they will not understand. I told a friend like this and she chastised me for making myself so ugly...no matter how many times I tried to explain it was a medical condition. Some things are better left unsaid. I'm not a fan of lying by any means, but in this case, I really don't see it as a bad thing if you want to say alopecia. For me it is for my survival.

Thanks so much! Sometimes I just get tired of explaining trich and getting a blank look or an 'ew' in return!

yes people are so rude. they always ask what happened to you I used to say I had a mild condition or disorder and now I tell them the truth I say what I have.but I have allot of depression and anxiety ever since my husband left us abandon us for someone he met on Facebook. I was married to him for 18 years and he met this woman for 3weeks on Facebook. that's how all of this started to affect me. I feel so sad and humiliated that's why I pull the Dr. put me on meds It helps a little.
I hate hurting my self. I have teenage daughters and they know I hurt.

Oh Sasha what a horrible thing to have happen to you. Those of us who pull know that it is actually soothing to us, we're not thinking of the baldness that will result. People mentioning it causes more anxiety, and you certainly have enough turmoil in your life. Hugs!

Eturtle, I get that a lot too. The disappointment that I don't have cancer and that we aren't going to share a cancer moment.

And as for people being nasty about it, I've had so many customers ask me if I'm a boy or a girl, flat-out tell me I look like a boy, or call me "sir" in a very deliberate way. And no, I don't have a masculine-looking face, and I'm not terribly flat-chested, and it's perfectly obvious that I'm female. Customers just like to abuse you because they know you aren't allowed to say anything back. SO glad I'm out of that job.

Just today I got a comment about it. I was waiting in this line to get my school pictures, and the girl behind me, who I sorta am friends with but not really asked, Do you pull your eyebrows? I said, "Yes, yes I do."
She continued, "Do you pull your eyelashes out too?" Again I said "Yes, yes I do." I got some stares from people around me since it was really crowded and the girl practically shouted these questions, but I try to tell the truth now when people ask these questions. My mom used to say not to tell anyone, because they would think I was weird and not want to be my friends anymore, but I think that thats complete shit. Yes of course it's scary to tell people but It will be worse if you try to lie out of it, and honestly, anyone who won't be your friend because you have trichotillomania, isn't your friend.

Rogue you are AMAZING! How brave to just say it, wow! You are so right, anyone who won't be friends because of trich isn't a friend anyway.

What I love about this scenario was the girl asking the questions was more than likely trying to get a reaction out of you (since she was kind of shouting) and you totally gave her nothing but the truth. I love it!