Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.

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/ Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group

Trich Sucks!!!

csteen
csteen
Omgosh!! Guess where I just spent the last half hour.. In the bathroom standing in front of the mirror with a pair of tweezers in my hand. And although I put the tweezers down like 10 times and told my self to stop, I did then i would see something i needed to pick or squeeze out of my face, then I see an eyebrow hair that needs to be plucked, then a few more until I move onto the hair on my head. As I leaned in to get a better view, I'm in a trance like state the whole time. I nearly cried right after when i Finally stopped and came to the computer. I was closely examining myself, and every little bump on me, and the hairs in the front of my head got plucked out, I like to use the tweezers on my head sometimes, cause then I can get only one hair, rather than with my fingers I would get more than one most of the time, and its easier to get the better rooted ones too I find. But I hate it, the fact that i'm in front of the mirror for so long watching myself do this to myself. Thats the worst part. Just knowing I did it to myself..
I missed so long of my show that i was watching too, because I leave to bathroom to pee on a commercial and don't come back till the shows long over...I hate going to the washroom at night to pee. Because my urges are much harder to control. I hold it in as long as i can cause i know once i go to the washroom I wont come out for a long time, I know whats going to happen. Sometimes if I can stop myself I have to run, and have something said over and over in my mind to keep me focused on something else but its so hard. I hate this shit so freakin much. Trich Sucks!!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
I hate it so much too!! I pull my on my head,and Im so good at it (many years of practice)that I dont need any tweezer !!
I pull everywhere in my house so I dont need to stand in front of a mirror.
Have you tried to go to the bathroom without turning the lights on?Just leave the door open a little bit so that light leeds you ? And avoid mirrors,dont look in them at all,I avoid them right know because I get stuck in front of them looking if my hair has grown !
I've been pullfree for 49 days today.You can do it too!!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi girly. I'm so sorry to hear you had a rough night. Try not to beat yourself up too much. I did the same thing a while back and I felt terrible about it but I realized that it wasn't my fault and that I had to forgive myself and keep trying. I know that trich and skin picking SUCK...big time, but we are going to find a way to beat this. My urges are much harder to control at night too. I find that it's a big issue for me to even go to the bathroom because of the mirror. I agree with granit69, maybe not turning on the light is the best option. I am going to start doing this and see if it helps. I'm sending good thoughts your way! Don't give up! I believe in you.
csteen
csteen
Yeah other people have suggested leaving the light off, but i can't cause i get really scared, the bathroom is all alone by it self at the end of a dark hallway, and its not that i just pull in front of a mirror, its that i do it wherever i am, just when i see the mirror, I cant help but look in and see something that I wanna pull out or pick off. Its almost like a reflex. I automatically look in the mirror. I dont know what it was. I was just in so much of a trance that i just couldnt snap out of it. Like I would, then i would be right back in the mirror again, then snap out of it and right back into the mirror again almost instantly. Usually I pull while im watching tv or im on the computer. And I never do that during the day when im in the washroom, just the nights. Its weird, I almost never pull really during the day, unless I'm extremely stressed or anxious or bored.. I was almost pull free today until I went to the washroom to pee, and pulled like maybe 5 hairs, so definetly not like last night, but I was so close to having at least one pull free day in so long. My best so far, so Im getting better..i hope..
deleted_user
deleted_user
hey csteen,

i think it's so great that you nearly went a whole day without pulling - seriously you've got to be proud and reward yourself for it! every hour, every minute you've got to have your own back. the only way we can get better is to recognize the good things that we do and not get too down on ourselves when we mess up a little bit. i don't want to say anything blasphemous, but it is ONLY HAIR after all!!! i know it is nearly impossible to think of in that light because we seem to be making ourselves "ugly" by society's standards of beauty, but if you really think about it what we do is pretty awesome. instead of lashing out and hurting others, we take on all the pain in the world and inflict it on ourselves. in my view there's something pretty beautiful about that. and how amazing could we be once we realized we could let go of all that pain? there is so much wonderful potential locked up behind our pulling. sending you lots of love :)
csteen
csteen
ellamae, Thanks for the reply, I think I really needed to hear that right now. I was thinking something along the lines the other day, but for some reason it only made me pull more. But hearing it from someone else.. It's different. I know it's only hair. But its just so hard to keep telling myself that. I feel just so ugly. I know I'm not like that on the inside, but that's how I feel. I have bad self esteem and no confidence in myself. And it's embarresing. There's so much I wont do because of this. And even though I've been pulling everyday for quite a while now, I think that I've pulling less and less each day lately. I've pulled a bit earlier today, which I'm not to proud of, And I couldnt stop, so I messaged a whole bunch of olive oil into my hair, so I wont pull it, since its all oily. And it also promotes hair growth.
deleted_user
deleted_user
i know how you feel girl. i pull when i just lay around and watch tv. i am constantly picking at bumps ive been doing this since i was 11. i would stop for awhile then just randomly start up ive noticed since me and my boyfriend broke up its gotten really bad. i hate myself for pulling. i wanna stop so bad.
K1986
K1986
I am the same way. THAT DAMN MIRROR...sometimes I pull from when my hand randomly goes up and I "feel" something...but a lot of the time its because I see something in the mirror. For a while when I was in the therapy my therapist suggested putting a note on the mirror to prevent myself from looking. It REALLY helped. Not a cure, because again, sometimes you just feel it and that is enough.

I put a big peice of paper on my bathroom mirror that said "I think you should look somewhere else" and a big happy face on it (trying to be positive). The paper was right where I could see my face in the mirror normally. So whenever I walked in the bathroom, even if I looked over at the mirror, I couldn't see my face. And if I "out of habit" leaned in to look, I would see the note and just stop in my tracks (most of the time).

Now i'm in a dorm for the summer, so I have a communal bathroom so I can't just stick a giant note on the mirror for myself. And I definitely have been doing worse this summer. :( I really can't wait to get back to living in a single apartment so I can get back on track.
csteen
csteen
Omgosh Thank you so much Im so gonna do that the second I'm done typing this. Put a note on my bathroom mirror. Lol I have a note taped to my fridge that says "To indulge is too buldge" to keep me from overeating. But I never thought to put a note on the mirror. Thank you, Thats a really great idea.