Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
Impulsive control disorder is the inability to resist an urge, temptation, or impulse, even when it may cause negative effects to the self or to others. If you or a loved one suffers from impulsive contorl disorder, join the community to find support and share your challenges with others who know what you're going through.
about 2 years ago I told my boyfriend about my hair pulling, and about 2 weeks ago I finally told my family about it. And one thing I have noticed, is that with every new person I tell, I think i start to pull MORE...
does anyone else experience this?
I dont know, but I think when no one knew that I had a problem, my subconcious knew I had to control it or people would "find out," and now that everyone i care about knows, I think I feel that since I don't have to hide, that I can just keep pulling...I mean, I know that logically thats totally the wrong thing to think, but I think most hair pullers understand that while you are pulling your brain will be thinking one thing logical and somehow you convince yourself otherwise or ignore what you are trying to tell yourself. like your conscious mind and subconcious mind are fighting, thinking two different things at once. I always feel like when i'm pulling i'm saying in my head "don't pull, stop, you're making yourself ugly, just stop doing it, etc" but somehow i just keep doing it! i dunno, i'm rambling...
i also find that my family now finds it necessary to snap at me anytime i go near my hair. I'm an eyebrow/eyelash puller, and now when i run my fingers through my hair they yell at me! and i don't pull from my scalp! but they are so nervous now the second i do so much as even scratch my eye i get repremanded.
I try to tell them NOT to do this, it just makes me MORE apprehensive. But they raised a good question...how can they help me? because when they tell me NOT to pull, i feel a GREATER urge to pull...but should they just ignore it? kinda like if you ignore a child whose acting up, eventually they will stop acting up? What can they do to help? because i don't know!
any thoughts?
does anyone else experience this?
I dont know, but I think when no one knew that I had a problem, my subconcious knew I had to control it or people would "find out," and now that everyone i care about knows, I think I feel that since I don't have to hide, that I can just keep pulling...I mean, I know that logically thats totally the wrong thing to think, but I think most hair pullers understand that while you are pulling your brain will be thinking one thing logical and somehow you convince yourself otherwise or ignore what you are trying to tell yourself. like your conscious mind and subconcious mind are fighting, thinking two different things at once. I always feel like when i'm pulling i'm saying in my head "don't pull, stop, you're making yourself ugly, just stop doing it, etc" but somehow i just keep doing it! i dunno, i'm rambling...
i also find that my family now finds it necessary to snap at me anytime i go near my hair. I'm an eyebrow/eyelash puller, and now when i run my fingers through my hair they yell at me! and i don't pull from my scalp! but they are so nervous now the second i do so much as even scratch my eye i get repremanded.
I try to tell them NOT to do this, it just makes me MORE apprehensive. But they raised a good question...how can they help me? because when they tell me NOT to pull, i feel a GREATER urge to pull...but should they just ignore it? kinda like if you ignore a child whose acting up, eventually they will stop acting up? What can they do to help? because i don't know!
any thoughts?
maybe if you can explain to your family that what they are doing is making you feel worse, they will stop. a LOT of families never know what they can do to help someone with trich. my mom punished me for years, even my teachers made fun of me in the middle of class.
what CAN your family do to help? they can help to make you aware of what you are doing WITHOUT MAKING YOU FEEL BAD OR GUILTY. i am sure if they snap at you, or smack your hand, or make you feel bad about something you cannot seem to control, it's only going to ruin your self esteem some more. they may not mean to do you harm, but they are if they treat you unkindly. how else can they help? they can READ about this disorder. they need to know what this is about. it will change how they treat you, and very possibly, it will help them to help you on your way to recovery.
heck, have them read this message. this group. go to the TLC website. have them read it too, and read more about it yourself. all those "rambling" feelings you are having are familiar to a lot of us! the struggle to want to look beautiful, yet needing so badly to get that instant pulling gratification... it affects so much of your life, feeling out of control like that. you are not alone. you've done a good thing writing here 8)