Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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This might be rambly, but this is what I am thinking/feeling right now.
There is a guy in one of my classes that I have a bit of a crush on. But he's a few years younger than me so I wasn't that upset to find out he had a girlfriend. I was looking at some pictures of him on facebook and wasn't bothered at all to see him with his girlfriend. Then I saw a picture of his girlfriend--a close up of just her eyes. I could see she had really really full, long lashes (behind some really pretty blue eyes!) and thick perfect eyebrows.
That was when I started to cry.
I wish someone could look me in the eyes and just see ME. Not my fake eyelashes or my penciled in eyebrows. All of a sudden a felt so jealous of this girl. There is a part of me that feels she, and every other girl, will always be more beautiful than me because I take away my own beauty by pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes. I know that is silly, and its what's on the inside that counts. But I hate feeling like every time someone is looking at me right in my face that I just want to run and hide. I want to be able to feel beautiful when someone looks at me...not like I'm hiding something.
I dated this other guy over a year ago. And when I would wake up in the morning, instead of just holding each other or cuddling I would have to run to the bathroom to make sure that my eyelashes and pencil stayed on throughout the night. It's just SUCH a stupid problem! I mean, just don't pull out my hair right? It sounds so easy. But as we all know, it's not!
I'm going to continue working on becoming pull free and just remind myself of that feeling I am trying to achieve. That I can just be myself, no hiding, and feel beautiful. That I can go to the beach with friends and not worry about the water ruining my makeup and exposing my secret. Or stare into the eyes of someone I care about without worrying about if he is close enough to see these flaws that I have given myself.
I went to this website the other day that sometimes posts random funny things, and they had a post called "Celebrities without eyebrows"
"http://www.sadanduseless.com/2011/09/celebrities-without-eyebrows/"
This made me so upset cuz all I could think was, "this is what I look like when I take off my eyebrows pencil!!"
Ugh...I just want to wear NOOOOO makeup and not feel like a freak! I just need to have hope. And sometimes I just don't feel any.
There is a guy in one of my classes that I have a bit of a crush on. But he's a few years younger than me so I wasn't that upset to find out he had a girlfriend. I was looking at some pictures of him on facebook and wasn't bothered at all to see him with his girlfriend. Then I saw a picture of his girlfriend--a close up of just her eyes. I could see she had really really full, long lashes (behind some really pretty blue eyes!) and thick perfect eyebrows.
That was when I started to cry.
I wish someone could look me in the eyes and just see ME. Not my fake eyelashes or my penciled in eyebrows. All of a sudden a felt so jealous of this girl. There is a part of me that feels she, and every other girl, will always be more beautiful than me because I take away my own beauty by pulling out my eyebrows and eyelashes. I know that is silly, and its what's on the inside that counts. But I hate feeling like every time someone is looking at me right in my face that I just want to run and hide. I want to be able to feel beautiful when someone looks at me...not like I'm hiding something.
I dated this other guy over a year ago. And when I would wake up in the morning, instead of just holding each other or cuddling I would have to run to the bathroom to make sure that my eyelashes and pencil stayed on throughout the night. It's just SUCH a stupid problem! I mean, just don't pull out my hair right? It sounds so easy. But as we all know, it's not!
I'm going to continue working on becoming pull free and just remind myself of that feeling I am trying to achieve. That I can just be myself, no hiding, and feel beautiful. That I can go to the beach with friends and not worry about the water ruining my makeup and exposing my secret. Or stare into the eyes of someone I care about without worrying about if he is close enough to see these flaws that I have given myself.
I went to this website the other day that sometimes posts random funny things, and they had a post called "Celebrities without eyebrows"
"http://www.sadanduseless.com/2011/09/celebrities-without-eyebrows/"
This made me so upset cuz all I could think was, "this is what I look like when I take off my eyebrows pencil!!"
Ugh...I just want to wear NOOOOO makeup and not feel like a freak! I just need to have hope. And sometimes I just don't feel any.
I think the most important thing you have to realize is that you are an amazing person who is struggling in one area in life.
And there are guys out there, believe me, who couldn't care less how your eyebrows look, etc. etc. Just ask all the married ladies on here, and they'll tell you how much their husbands care about them, and think they are beautiful, despite what their eye-brows look like!
That being said, you CAN stop pulling!!! Its hard, but its possible. Just take one day at a time, or even one hour, or one minute at a time!!
My husband knew something was up when i met him but he waited for me to say something. he and i have been married 2yrs and this december will make it 6yrs together. we have a wonderful 2yr old boy together. he still loves me and would do anything for me. just find the right person he is out there. inner beauty is so much more important but with all the media hype women feel the need to be super model gorgeous. there is always someone who will be more beautiful but just think you are more beautiful than someone else. when i wake up i think boy i look bad right now but there is someone else who looks worse than me. thats usually what get me by on my worst days. also celebrities only look the way they do b/c they have people spending 5 hours a day making them look that way. my hubby prefers to see me in pj pants and a tee shirt b/c when i wear make-up and do my hair and put on heels and a nice dress he feels like he is getting a treat. sometimes seeing a woman done up all the time can be a turn off b/c when it comes down to settling down men want to know they are marrying a woman who can let her guard down. men love it when a woman can be comfortable w/out the mask on. i learned that from my husband b/c i used to be the kind of girl who couldn't walk out the front door w/out make-up on. now i don't care i will go shopping in my pj's just b/c it is a lazy day and i don't feel like getting dressed.
One more thing. Vent all you want on this site b/c that is what we are here for. we want to hear you and it is an awesome way to relieve the built up steam. stay strong we can overcome this together. just remember you are not alone.