Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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There is part of me that wants to stop because it's so weird. Like walking around with a big secret like that isn't very comfortable. But on the other hand, I really love it. It's so satisfying. I don't know. Maybe if I ever get interested in anyone else that will be some motivation to actually stop.
And speaking of disturbing stuff... I eat my hair too. So now everything is out on the table, haha.
I too have OCD, and have been in a situation just like you where I felt I was carrying around a secret and it got to me and it made me feel dirty and awful and it was all I could think about. But I think this is part of OCD, which is a disorder that can make you overthink things sometimes. Don't let it get to you like that.
I don't feel like it should have any effect on whether you get a boyfriend or not. This is a bit private and you don't have to respond to this but as a female, we have the option to shave or wax our downstairs area... I do this every now and then. Basically, if you pull enough pubes from one area, it's not even noticable if you shave/wax the rest.
May I suggest waxing- not only the bikini line- but, how do I explain this, not so much a "hollywood" or "brazillian" but what I do is often wax the top of my downstairs, just below the belly then shave the rest. I like getting it waxed cos I like the feeling of them all coming out. And this is weird but as mentioned already, we all have weird things we do, I like seeing the hairs on the wax strip. It gives me satisfaction of some sort. Maybe you could try this? You can get home waxing strips but be sure to use them right. And don't let your habit put you off going to a salon to get it done. Beauticians have always seen weirder things than a bad habit.
If you do this, hopefully it'll give you the satisfaction you need and also there'll be no hairs to pull out, and they won't be growing at different rates.
Just be sure that doing this doesn't make you want to pull any other hairs out.
Hope this is somewhat helpful to you. I was pleased to see someone else does this too.