Thanks

I agree with QueenMarie about showing your daughter that she is valued for things other than her hair. Pulling her hair is something she is likely to struggle with forever. She need to know that it does not define her or make her weird. Shaming her for it will never be useful anyway. Real self-esteem will come from her knowing that she is smart, creative, generous....many things in addition to qualities related to appearance. Be open about talking about it as she gets old enough to bring it up with you, but don't focus on it. She may end up feeling bad about not being able to stop. It sounds like you are doing the best you can and your daughter is lucky to have a parent who cares so much about dealing with her condition in a sensitive manner.

Thank you but when you say she will likely struggle with this forever it pisses me off. She is only four. Statistically she has a good chance of reversing the behavior because of her age. Im sorry I know im being bitchy but I need hope. I am being positive with her going to behavior therapy etc.. one thing I gotta point out that I feel from some feedback is not directly but almost indirectly is not to tell her to pull her hair. I understand I shouldn't yell at her but im not in any way going to sugar coat it. If I catch her consciously or unconsciously pulling her hair im definitely going to correct her. Even if it irritates her...its not right even if it feels good. You may think she will want to hide it from me more but either way she is going to hide it. Everyone does because its not ok to do. Just like drugs in a sense. I do want her to be confident about herself other than appearances of course! And will always be there fir her. But people are ashamed for a reason. Its not good to do. I feel witg such openness and honesty she can come to me and be like mom I fucked up I made a bald patch...I can see myself saying I know this is hard and im here for you ..you have to try harder. And it looks bad but we can cover it and it will grow back. Every time I catch her I say leave your hair alone. A lot of times I don't even have to tell her I just look at her and she stops because she knows what I will say. She now comes to me and tells me her hiding spots etc. Because nothing is a big secret. Im lucky about this or else I would have never known she was eating it.

When we didn't focus on it as much she was at her worst. I personally don't think it should be taken lightly.

I am not at all criticizing what you have been doing. I was just offering my perspective as someone who has dealt with trich for many years. I understand it is hard to hear that your child MAY deal with trich as an adult. Of course, she may also grow out of it. My comments were only intended to address the hypothetical issue of the problem continuing. I was also not saying to ignore the pulling, just to not make her feel bad about it, which again, I am sure you are trying your best not to do. It sounds like you are doing many positive things to support her and having success with that. However, I don't think the drug comparison is fair, because doing drugs is a choice. Hair pulling is a mental disorder.

The response I suggested is what have been most helpful to me as a child with trich. However, every situation is different, especially because your daughter eating her hair is a health issue. Everyone here is only trying to help.

My mom is the same as you. I'm 15, and, in my situation, my parents are NOT the cause of my hair pulling. I'm not sure what it is. It could be an anxiety thing while it can be a chemical imbalance. That's what my therapist told me, anyway. I would recommend looking it up a little more and maybe try to contact psychiatrists to get more advice? I don't feel as if you are a failure as a parent. I think you are only doing what you can.

I have had trichotillomania since I was 11 and am now 64. I've just recently come into contact with something that may help us all. Especially the very young. I was a special education teacher for 27 years and saw many manifestations of ADHD coupled with "behavior" disorders and always wondered how I could help any of them if I couldn't help myself. Now I have retired and am part of a health and wellness business. We do biofeedback programs. EEG biofeedback and Heart Rate Variability training are scientifically documented approaches to ADHD and obsessive/compulsive disorders. Sometimes, especially in young children, these can be the result of neuronal disregulation and can be corrected by use of these modalities along with other supports such as counseling. These are noninvasive and do not rely on medications. In fact, in cases where medications are used, they can be reduced or discontinued with the support and guidance of the physician and the biofeedback practitioner. In the mean time, Mom, take care of yourself, and work on your own anxieties. You have a life of your own to look after. You have no control over this and neither does your daughter. Your daughter can feel it when you are triggered by her behavior ( I know this happens because I could feel my parent's reaction to my pulling behaviors and it made my feelings of guilt and shame worse.), so the best you can do for her, is to take care of yourself. Your serenity and health is important for both of you.

hello

Your daughter sounds similar to me when I was young. I love long hair, but I'd pull my own. I would hide my hair anywhere I could too, and my parents tried gloves layers of scarves and hats and all.

I did have period of time I was okay though? I had started taking an adhd medicine and somehow it helped me pull less. At least until my mother got lax on making me taking and i'd "forget" to take it. Mind you that it only made me pull "less" It's not a cure.

But during that time we did a few things that helped; I saw a counselor (who seemed to help mom calm down too), I got a wig of my choosing, and as gross as it sounds we started "measuring" the amount of hair I pulled. Mom gave me a few ziploc bags and when I pulled instead of hiding the hair I would (most of the time) put it in them.( This is the reverse of what mandapanda suggested, but as a last resort might work. Please be delicate if you attempt this.)

This of course made me realize the enormity of it. Which for a child is quite a big thing to do. I felt ashamed and after awhile hated the bags and myself, but they did their job. I then started actively trying to fight myself for the first time.


I don't know you or your child personally, but possibly these things might help or they might not. I hope they do at least a little bit. Please talk with your daughter through all of this and as the others said let her help with choosing methods and talk her through processes.

Communication is important, and even if it feels like she's not listening she most likely is, but is terribly distracted by herself and her impulsiveness.

Again I hope this helps. I'd like to help any way I can.

Hi yes hair eating could be important some people do that and it can make you really sick. Have you tried avoiding stimulant foods to try to help her be less hyper and having nervous hand movements? e.g. sugar, anything with caffeine i.e. tea/coffee, taurine, also chilli and chocolate are both stimulants as it wasabi and horse raddish (though as little kid probably doesn't have wasabi or chilli haha). I've read about a link between wheat intolerance/coeliac disease and trich too. So you could try her with wheat substitutes, but as she has the 'habit' now you may have to try this when she is old enough to understand and tell you if she feels better/less urges or not (as she might not stop pulling right away due to habit)

Also it could be an ADHD habit/Asperger's or autism tic so they are important to get checked out too (I found out I have Asperger's with some ADHD traits as a 26 year old female... they just DON'T diagnose it is girls).

Also if she has these conditions, you may have to accept that at some point in her childhood/in her adult life, she may have exhausted all the options and require medication. I hated meds for so long but sometimes it is the only way to reduce the suffering. I wish I'd seen that sooner!

Sorry if I repeated some of what other people have said; I haven't got my glasses on and have strabismus eye strain so don't want to read all the replies.