wish I could help you.....have you tried to do a pull free yet? Sorry if you have xxxx

Sit down, write out what happens before you start feeling your eyelashes, what you do afterwards, and what you want to do.
There is a sub support group called beating trich here that helps people do pull-free goals.
One of the things about journaling, and being detailed with it is that you will find the patterns of your thinking, your actions, and with the help of everyone on the beating trich support group, different ideas to help you keep on even during the rough times.
You can do this, however, it must be for your self. In other words, long-term, you want to be able to enjoy being around your daughter and not have comments such as missing eyelashes be a part of the conversation.
I would use eye drops to keep the eyes moist.
Best wishes and welcome to DS!

Hi there, I'm glad to hear your family is supportive overall, even if kids can be a little too blunt.

One thing I've found is that my pulling serves many purposes. Sometimes it's because I am in pain or angry or frustrated or whatever. But many times, I go into my little pulling trance because it's just a comforting, stress-reliever (unfortunately, a strange and self-destructive one). So my focus lately has been on finding other ways to relax myself at the end of the day. When normally I would start pulling (which can feel almost meditative sometimes), I'm trying real meditation, walking, journaling - whatever I can that would help provide that sense of release at the end of the day that pulling usually serves. Perhaps there isn't any deep-rooted trauma for you either, but just daily stressors? Good luck, keep searching, keep posting!

Everyone's been giving you tips to help you stop pulling, which is great. But here's what I think you really need to hear:

Please don't be embarrassed. Trich is a medical condition and not your fault. It might embarrass your daughter sometimes, but no mother is perfect, and ALL parents embarrass their children sometimes, for one reason or another. I remember being embarrassed as a child because my mother drove a crappy old car. Your eyelashes are just one of those little things. Your daughter probably thinks you're the greatest mom on earth, and trich doesn't change that a bit. :)

Kids aren't stupid and I think she is old enough that you could tell her that it hurts your feelings when she says that to you and explain that if you could stop pulling, you certainly would. Show her information online about trich and that it is a medical condition that thousands of people have. Show her all of us on here!

I once used this analogy to a mother of a kid who had trich (the mother was annoyed with her daughter's pulling and didn't understand): "Imagine being on a diet and having a chocolate cake strapped to the front of your body and you can't eat it." THAT she understood.

Thank you everyone for your support!!

My 10 yr old daughter is the only person in the world who has seen my horrible bald spot, only because she came into the bathroom before I had covered it. I didn't tell her exactly the problem (coward that I am) just that "that's the way it is". I find she only brings it up if she has something bothering her that she wants to talk about and doesn't know how to begin the conversation.

I found DS about a month after she saw my "hair". Two weeks of reading and posting and I one day said, "this is IT!" and stopped pulling. The first couple of weeks I had my thumb rubberbanded to my hand so I could not pull. The support here gives you so much strength and self confidence.

So I went from pulling any time I was on the phone, driving, watching TV, reading, stressed, procrastinating, cranky, whatever (ie: all the time!) to occassionally pulling a hair here or there (which I still call pull free, I'm very lenient with myself!). Have faith, you can do it!

Thanks accepting...

I am glad to know that I am not the only one with kids that their kids notice. I have spent so much of my life hiding this from my parents, friends, work, and everyone else that the dynamic of someone knowing and being able to be open about it is very uncomfortable. It is a different dyanmic for me.

Thanks again for your words of support!

We are all here for you!!! Anytime you need to chat just let us know, we understand what you are going through and will never judge you. Hoping you have a wonderful day!

It may be that you are not dealing with emotional pain at all, anymore than you would be if asthma were making you wheeze. Stress can make wheezing (and pulling) worse, but I don't think that's what causes it. I believe that Trich is caused by a chemical inbalance in the brain, which causes sufferers to over-groom. It seems so weird because it's something you do to yourself. but if it's something you could control than no one would be doing it, right? Clomipramine worked for my daughter, others on this site have posted about NAC or Inositol really working. I'm convinced that the key is to find the right substance or medicine for your brain chemistry. Good luck!

I have read a couple books (well, honestly I skimmed them haha)...but it says that pulling can be triggered not only by stress, but also by inactivity.

My worst pulling trigger is actually reading. Talking on the phone and watching tv I have noticed also trigger my pulling--those sort of "passive" activities.

Driving is a bad nail biting trigger for me too.

I read that it is thought that pulling can be a way to stimulate a brain that is under stimulated at a particular moment. Hence, if you are bored, your brain almost tries to excite your brain by pulling. The tiny little nerve endings of each hair act to stimulate you. It's related to brain chemistry and genetics etc...for some reason our brains NEED something that the pulling provides.

K1986: I agree, I always pulled when I was on the phone, driving, watching tv and, for me at least, procrastinating!