Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling) Support Group
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Hi guys.
A few weeks ago I posted about how there is this guy that I really like, and I found out he had a girlfriend and I looked at some pictures on facebook of her and got really upset when I saw how think and beautiful her eyelashes and eyebrows were.
This is kind of an update on that....
Me and this guy have become kind of good friends. He's actually the only guy I know in the town I live in now. Even though I have a HUGE gigantic crush on him, I have been keeping my emotions under control since he is 4 years younger than me and I think it would be a little weird even if he was single.
Well, I decided I wanted to cook an elaborate halloweeen dinner, and since he is the only person I know I obviously invited him. He told me he was going to bring a friend, which he did, but I was NOT prepared for him to also bring his gf. It was a complete shock when I opened the door and she was there with him. My heart sank. I just hadn't mentally or emotionally prepared myself to meet her. But I kept it all inside.
Seeing her in person, I saw that she had the most BEAUTIFUL eyelashes I have ever seen. They were SOOOO thick and long! On top of the fact that she was dating this guy that I really really like, she had these amazing eyelashes! I felt upset when I saw a picture of her, but in person it felt so much worse. I think you just don't realize how something will actually make you feel until you are in the situation. I was seriously GREEN with envy! I had such a terrible feeling in my stomach from the jealousy. I still had a great time with everyone. But when everyone left I just broke down and cried and cried. I kept telling myself it was silly, but emotions just have a mind of their own!
All this week I have just been really down. No matter how much a TELL myself that I shouldn't feel so jealous because he is too young for me anyway, I just can't help feeling what I'm feeling--and it feels awful. I was so depressed all week.
But what is sort of the "silver lining"...just thinking about his girlfriend and how jealous I am of her, for the FIRST time in YEARS I have had the motivation to not pull...I mean, I have always felt I had the motivation, but then it never worked and I would get in that zone and just keep pulling. But this week, when the urges have come, I just think of this girl and I get sooo jealous and I just STOP.
I wasn't 100% pull free, I pulled maybe 3 or 4 all week that just "fell too good to not pull." But for me, 3 or 4 is a HUGE improvement!!! My BIGGEST pulling problem is with hairs that grow in stubbly. Usually, I pull them out the SECOND they break the skin! I have about 10 stubby hairs that have grown in my eyebrows this week, and I haven't pulled a single one of them! I have gone about 5 days with these stubby hairs growing!!!! I can't even remember the last time I was able to NOT pull a stubby hair! Probably in over 5 years. I have such a motivation to just leave them and NEVER pull them out. I told myself I would give myself until Friday and if I wanted to pull them still, I would. Well it's Friday, and I do want to pull them, but I'M NOT GOING TO!!! This is such a breakthrough for me.
So even though I absolutely hate this feeling I have inside, perhaps it will end up being a blessing in disguise. I would love to see my eyebrows/eyelashes back again. I haven't seen them in so long!
Thanks for listening
A few weeks ago I posted about how there is this guy that I really like, and I found out he had a girlfriend and I looked at some pictures on facebook of her and got really upset when I saw how think and beautiful her eyelashes and eyebrows were.
This is kind of an update on that....
Me and this guy have become kind of good friends. He's actually the only guy I know in the town I live in now. Even though I have a HUGE gigantic crush on him, I have been keeping my emotions under control since he is 4 years younger than me and I think it would be a little weird even if he was single.
Well, I decided I wanted to cook an elaborate halloweeen dinner, and since he is the only person I know I obviously invited him. He told me he was going to bring a friend, which he did, but I was NOT prepared for him to also bring his gf. It was a complete shock when I opened the door and she was there with him. My heart sank. I just hadn't mentally or emotionally prepared myself to meet her. But I kept it all inside.
Seeing her in person, I saw that she had the most BEAUTIFUL eyelashes I have ever seen. They were SOOOO thick and long! On top of the fact that she was dating this guy that I really really like, she had these amazing eyelashes! I felt upset when I saw a picture of her, but in person it felt so much worse. I think you just don't realize how something will actually make you feel until you are in the situation. I was seriously GREEN with envy! I had such a terrible feeling in my stomach from the jealousy. I still had a great time with everyone. But when everyone left I just broke down and cried and cried. I kept telling myself it was silly, but emotions just have a mind of their own!
All this week I have just been really down. No matter how much a TELL myself that I shouldn't feel so jealous because he is too young for me anyway, I just can't help feeling what I'm feeling--and it feels awful. I was so depressed all week.
But what is sort of the "silver lining"...just thinking about his girlfriend and how jealous I am of her, for the FIRST time in YEARS I have had the motivation to not pull...I mean, I have always felt I had the motivation, but then it never worked and I would get in that zone and just keep pulling. But this week, when the urges have come, I just think of this girl and I get sooo jealous and I just STOP.
I wasn't 100% pull free, I pulled maybe 3 or 4 all week that just "fell too good to not pull." But for me, 3 or 4 is a HUGE improvement!!! My BIGGEST pulling problem is with hairs that grow in stubbly. Usually, I pull them out the SECOND they break the skin! I have about 10 stubby hairs that have grown in my eyebrows this week, and I haven't pulled a single one of them! I have gone about 5 days with these stubby hairs growing!!!! I can't even remember the last time I was able to NOT pull a stubby hair! Probably in over 5 years. I have such a motivation to just leave them and NEVER pull them out. I told myself I would give myself until Friday and if I wanted to pull them still, I would. Well it's Friday, and I do want to pull them, but I'M NOT GOING TO!!! This is such a breakthrough for me.
So even though I absolutely hate this feeling I have inside, perhaps it will end up being a blessing in disguise. I would love to see my eyebrows/eyelashes back again. I haven't seen them in so long!
Thanks for listening
deleted_user
I know how you feel sweetie, I see beautiful girls looking at my boyfriend with long beautiful thick hair, and then i look in the mirror and wounder why he is with me. I feel like i am the ugliest girl in the world. Then i ask my boyfriend why he is with me and his reply is "Kim you are beautiful on the inside and out" trich doesnt make you who you are. Without out it though you probably would not have become the sweet caring person you are. Its funny how fixated we get when we see people with hair and we dont have it, But think of it this way. Those girls may have hair but do they have the heart of gold you do? I had my best guy friend tell me yesterday that he doesnt know how he will act when i do have all my hair back, He said trich is all he has know with me. And that I will be hot with hair but i am hot even without it. lol And that most people cant pull of both. That made me laugh and gave me hope. Guys honestly arent that shallow and they dont even really notice hair, Im sure this guy has not noticed on you. They see you for the way you are and how you act. Guys hate girls that think only of themselves and take forever getting ready. Simplicity is everything when it comes to men. Trust me I have had proabably too many bf's but they all acted the same when it came to hair and looks, Im sure this guy see's how sweet you are and beautiful, if he didnt he would not have come over. But also dont blame his girlfriend because she is with him. if she hasnt done anything to you then you need not be mean too her. "but im sure ur swet as pie to her" You will find that guy. Who knows he could be right next to you and you have no idea ;)good luck and we are all rooting for you!
Trickster2011
Good for you that you did not pull your eyelashes or eyebrows out lately !! Way to go !! This fellow has a girlfriend so he is not available, but maybe he has a brother or a good friend :) ? There is somebody you are going to meet who will love you for who you are right now, but in the mean time it is great that you are working on making YOU feel better by not pulling. Keep on coming back to the forum daily and checking in with us, as we are in this together, with the same goal - to not pull, and YOU CAN DO IT !!!
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