Welcome...
When I found out I was glad I wasn't alone in doing this to myself...that it is an actual disorder a brain chemical imbalance..
I like the groups here on DS because its been proven that support groups help with recovery..that's why I am here too.
Your perspective on being at peace with yourself and not listening to others is a good policy. Being confident helps so much in your recovery and in general taking the best care of yourself as possible. I believe the key to lifestyle changes is to focus on stress reducing techniques as this will calm the tension we feel when pulling.
I'm glad you are here!

Hey! I'm glad you found us :) Self acceptance and self love is a huuuge part of recovery, I believe. So your goal is a great one. You might find this blog article very helpful, I and many others have: http://helpforhairpullers.blogspot.com.au/2014/04/oh-no-i-undid-all-my-progress.html?m=1

It's written by a psychotherapist who specialises in trich and is in remission from it herself. She believes the only replacement for pulling is self care, self love, setting boundaries, saying no, not being around takers.

There's another great group on DS called the beating trich group.

I really...don't know what to say. I'm so overwhelmed. I just never imagined that there were so many of us. I haven't cried at all until I got your messages. And now I can't seem to hold it in. I've been falling to pieces all by myself, and here you guys are.

Oh man... I can't imagine how that feels. I found out about trich when I was quite young, not long after I started. I don't really remember how I felt at the time but I'm sure it was nothing compared to finding out as an adult. Let it all out! I what's most important first is to educate yourself as much as you can about trich. wee trich.org

Haha, *www.trich.org

I'm sitting here, pulling out my hair. Again... When Nabby said that stress reducing was key, I kinda clicked. I've been so anxious and stressed about the hair pulling that I've forgotten to take care of myself in other areas.

I do have an appointment with a hair specialist tomorrow...I just want to shave all my hair off. I met a lady today at work who shaved her head for chemo. She was beautiful. And all I could think was "maybe if there was no such thing as hair, then I would be pretty." Afterwards I felt awful for being jealous of someone who has cancer. It makes me feel like I'm a bad person. But I was jealous because having no hair would mean I wouldn't be covering it up. I'm constantly hiding who I am. I'm so ashamed when I do my hair, when I can't even part it properly.

Hair specialist, as in a hair dresser?

Don't feel bad about being jealous. If anything I'm sure sure she'd love to hear how great she looks. I get urges to shave all my hair often too. But it's not for me.

Stress relief is essential for me too, plus self care.

Hair specialist as in someone who works specifically with women who have trich or hair loss.

Ohh interesting. Make sure they are up to date with the latest research or they could just do more harm than good. You don't have to answer this, but what exactly do you want from this specialist?

I'm not sure what I want. Or if I actually want it. I ended up freaking out and canceling. Guess it felt like if I went, I'd lose the hope that I could quit on willpower alone.

Hmm. Was it a psychologist? That could really help.

I do hate to tell you that willpower is probably not enough. It's not enough for me, or many others. Have you visited the trich.org website? There's a lot of great info on there. Trich is a complex disorder and often requires a multifaceted approach. I'll paste below my personal recipe, it may help you.

- Knowledge - know all about the condition
- Acceptance - you have a disorder but it's not your fault and you're not crazy
- Awareness (of triggers* + level of hairs pulled daily)
- Motivation & Commitment
- Support
- Barriers, replacements, strategies, surfing
- Positivity & Persistency

//// Plus important to take care of \\

MY BODY: Diet, Exercise, Sleep
MY LIFE. Do things I love. Chase dreams. Work hard.
MY SPIRIT: meditation
MY MIND: Self acceptance & love. Replace & challenge negative thoughts, Practise mindfulness. Boundaries & saying no. Stress relieving activities. Challenge perfectionism, trich related and not.
MY EMOTIONS: Cope with emotions in healthy ways (including deep breathing, accepting the emotions, and internal self soothing)

*triggers include:
Physiological - lack of sleep, being tired, being hungry, pms, lack of exercise, poor diet, anxiety
Cognitive (thoughts) - perfectionism, being too hard on myself, comparing myself to others, feeling insecure
Emotions - anger, frustration, sadness, grief, excitement, boredom
Situational - watching TV, working at computer, reading, driving
Habitual - automatic pulling

So I know it's a lot. But.. It's what it takes for me.

There's a great psychotherapist called Claudia Miles MFT who I think could really help you. I've spoken to her. She has trich herself and has been pull free for 20 years. Here's a link to her blog, and her contact details are on there. http://helpforhairpullers.blogspot.com.au/?m=1

Oh my gosh I really hope I didn't freak you out. Those are all tactics I've collected over the past 4 years.

:) You didn't freak me out. I'm just kinda figuring things out. Any advice you give can only help.

Phew! There's a lot of good advice/info in the news section of this group. Also, in the Beating Trich group which I'm also active in, there's heaps of tips scattered throughout the various pull-free-a-thons. A lot of reading there, if you wish. Big hugs.