i think your best bet is to ask a friend help you find a chest binder, I'm not to sure about the testosterone shots though, that's a little trickier. is there any one in your family who would support you and help you with that?

Online shopping is the best way for you to deal with the binder thing, use paypal to pay the bill on it. As for testosterone there is only one way to get it, which is get a therapist and get on it. you can try to get them black market but you need to realize that if you get caught it could effectively stop your ability to get proper help as it shows a lack of responsibility as far as the meds, second they are shots (though you can get patches but they don't work well) and with out proper monitoring it can be life threatening. SO I HIGHLY advise that you follow the proper path via a therapist and doctor.

Too much testosterone at one time can cause a lot of health problems. Take care of yourself long term. What is the point in shortening your life at this point?

As others have pointed out and I will concur, you have to see a qualified therapist so you can be properly diagnosed and then if you are diagnosed as being transgender, you will then have to see an endocrinologist so he/she can do a blood test to check your liver panel and cholesterol level.

If those are okay, then he/she will recommend HRT, now, the T shots should be given in increments, such as .25 cc for the first 3 months, then .50 ccs for the subsequent 3 months, .73 cc for the subsequent 3 months until you reach 1 cc, every two weeks. Then after 5 years or so depending on your T levels which should be checked every 6 months along with a cholesterol and liver panel, it could be recommended that you take .50 cc every week.

Now, an extreme word of caution. T is a highly controlled substance, in fact, you cannot carry it around, you are to get the vial and keep it at home at all times. Furthermore, you are to take exactly as it is prescribed. If the dr says to start right away on 1 cc, get another dr, T is an extremely strong hormone.

Here's what you need to know: Once you are on T, your chances of having a heart attack go up by 35%. Your moods will swing faster than Tarzan through the vines. Your cholesterol level will shoot through the roof. I started at 120 and I am now at 208, at one point it was 230.

In the two years, while your body is adjusting, your rage indicator will be on practically all the time. So I advice you are under the supervision of a therapist during this time, as adjustment to the male world and the T will be a bear and I am putting it mildly.

Another important thing is this: Be sure you plan on having a hysterectomy on the first 5 years of T or run the risk of acquiring ovarian cancer as the ovaries will atrophy with T. I know you may not like it but you also will need to be seen by a gynecologist every six months to make sure you do not develop any cysts or anything else on your cervix, as T also can wreak havoc on your reproductive system.

As you are 16, your father has a right to refuse to offer you the chance to get T. However, once you move out and start your open life, you may pursue this anyway you chose without needing his consent.

Now,. for my own two cents. Personally, I think 16 is a bit too young to start T, the male world is not as kind as you may think and adjusting to it may get tougher and you may not be (I know you'll buck at this) mature enough to go through it. To give a perfect example, when I started my transition I was 30, and I was not ready for any of the nasty surprises. So hence why I highly recommend that you are under the care of a therapist during your transition.

Not to mention, that at 16, it is difficult to tell what is really going on with us, let alone know ourselves, if it persists and continues unto adulthood, say after 19, then it is something to look at seriously. Given your history, I am concerned that this may be a reaction to what is transpired in your life. Why I recommend a therapist to get it all sort it out.

I have seen my share of teens like you transition and end up going back to it because they were either misdiagnosed or simply fibbed to get the shots, thinking that's what it was.

I am not saying that you should not pursue it, I am simply asking you to keep an open mind and get the best possible help possible which reminds me to ask you that you make certain you resolve those issues (you know which ones) before transitioning if you have been properly diagnosed because, they will become a problem while transitioning.

Lastly, I am the only one here who will tell it to you like it is. I have been at this way too long not to share what I learned along the way. I am not telling you not to do it but to be extremely careful. T is not something you can start and stop when you want to, specially after years of it. Your body changes and if you have had a hysterectomy and decide to go back, switching to female hormones will be another cross to bear. Just a warning.

Hugs,
Wolf (FTM since 1987)

Binders can be purchased online, as others have said. As far as testosterone? Go to a therapist and have a doctor give it to you. You should be monitored by a doctor and be open with them. There are health risk with it that they will need to watch for. I highly suggest you not get it without help from a therapist and doctor. They will help you ease into transition the right way.
Nothing happens overnight. Keep open communication with your therapist and stay safe.

An online site that does well with things like binders and such is tranzwear.com. They make things to fit your measurements.

As for T,... Go see a therapist first. One who specializes in transgender. As you sort things out, they will know - or should know - endocrinologists who can do the bloodwork testing and get you on T, after discussing options and which seems best for you. The bloodwork testing is VITAL for your ongoing health, it has to be done on a regular basis - mine is every 3 months - to insure the health of your liver and other internal organs, as T IS such a strong hormone, and affects every part of your body. I do not say this simply because it is the way things are done, but because it is the SAFEST way to do these things.

After all, what is the good of going through all the changes and the troubles and trials they bring, only to die from something that could have been prevented if the proper testing and such had been done all along? It is true, what Wolfie said about the male world not being kind - it is a rough road, one guys are expected to know innately, with no tolerance for those who seem to lack that innate grasp. Still, if this is your path, then begin by taking the steps - see a qualified, good gender specialist, get the testing done, work through issues, and follow medical instructions on your use of T - remember, each of us is different, and different levels of T may be required - but a GOOD endocrinologist will start you out low, and test - to see where your T levels need to be - then will increase them slowly, with testing to keep track of the T levels in your system and the other effects T has on your health and internals. NEVER rush things. You want the chance to live life as who you really are, so take it a step at a time.

My own path has been skewed by circumstances, and my health may be compromised because of it - which is why I urge you strongly to follow the advice offered here.

If a parent refuses to give consent for your treatment, then be patient - you're so close to being legally able to obtain treatment without needing the consent; and improvements in treatments are happening. Plan for it - T is expensive. Find work, get health coverage that will help with the costs, save up to move out and pay for the treatment. It is a hard thing, waiting, but it will be worth it. I waited decades,.... because I didn't even know there was a word, let alone anyone else like me.

Meanwhile, a good binder's cost varies, depending on size and such; I think the one I used cost $30.00; but that was almost 4 or 5 years ago,...hard to remember how long it's been.

I hope this helps.

Joe