I'm about to catch a lot of flack for saying something I feel, but here goes.

The next time some jerk - male or female - grabs you in any way like you described, you react by calling them out - in ublic - loudly - as groping perverts. Call the females who do this crap dumb bitches, and reach for their chests, as if to grope them back, saying, "How'd you like it if I grabbed YOU the way YOU grabbed ME, HUH?!?" then laugh in their idiot faces and call them the perverts they are. Anyone grabs your crotch, you go for theirs, same deal - be loud, be assertive, be as rude to them as they're being to you. Demand they show you their chests first. Tell them to prove what a "real woman" they are,....

*sigh* I know what I am suggesting isn't going to be acceptable behavior - but neither is theirs. They do not deserve respect, since they are blatantly showing you none. Guys don't permit strange women to grab them like this, not without retaliation - grabbing back, name calling, insulting or even saying, "Yeah, you want me THAT bad, you CAN'T WAIT to get me alone, huh?" to embarrass them back. I am not normally an advocate of violence, but guys don't meekly accept such crass treatment from strangers. They fight back. So, you're a guy - some brazen whore grabs your chest or crotch - smack the crap out of her and call her out on it!!!! Some other dude tries the same thing? Belt him one, and tell him - loudly - you're not interested in having sex with HIM.

Don't be a doormat - but don't go out of your way to pick a fight. If strangers approach and begin questioning your gender, loudly proclaim - for ALL to hear - that you don't recall inviting them into your pants and to keep their bloody mitts to themselves. Tell them "Hands off, Pervert!!" and let it be known they are harassing you, in a loud and public way - which should shame them into backing down.

Sometimes, you HAVE to stand up for yourself, as painful as it might be. As long as you meekly take this crap from people, they won't stop - because they are getting away with it!!

I hate that you're having this happen - hate it for you. But you MUST stand up for yourself. This isn't the sort of thing that is going to stop just because you wish it would - you have to make it stop.

People can be crass, and stupid. Turn it back on them. Give them a taste of what they tried doing to you.

Ok, I've said it. Now everyone can come on and blast me for saying what I feel about this situation. Come on, peeps, tell me how wrong I am, and outline the "better" ways of dealing with this insanity. Tell me how wrong it is to react like this, to ever use violence of any sort. Tell me how else to react, in the face of such brazen disregard for another person's privacy.

Don't cower, don't accept this sort of treatment, don't let the perverts get you down - turn it back on them, make them look like the sick freaks they are. MAKE a scene - make THEM look bad for treating you like this. Call attention to THEIR behavior. Throw it back in their faces. Leave them feeling small and afraid, not you - BE empowered!

Ok, everyone - dish out better advice, if you've got it.

When I was in the army I used to have this creepy squad lead that would like to grope me, I hated it. Also in elementary I would get panted. I learned to layer my cloths to prevent that. Are you a vendor or are you a guessed speeker. If I were in your shoes I would keep my shirt tucked in and if you have a blazer or suit jacket, I would were it. The other thing you might want to do is practicing with your voice. I have had a lot of people think I sound like a girl and also laugh like a girl. I got me harassed in the army. It really is sad that you are being harassed like this, at any job someone would try to lift your shirt up then would be bounced out of the job or place and not let back in. I hope your speech goes well, try to keep your chin up, dress for success and thing will turn out. You are right that your gender is your busness and no one elses. If the come up and ask you, you are not obligated to even offer a response. What ever place is hosting this conference should have some kind of security and if someone tries to grab your shirt I would call security on them, and get them removed form the event. You should not be treated this way by anyone, and if its not it should be illegal. My wife wonders why I layer my cloths and my swim wear, that's why. I'm sorry for what you are going through, and I wish you the best of luck on your speech, you will do great. Best wishes:-)

I have to agree with Joe. Anyone touching you when you do not wish them to is a form of assault and is prosecutable by law. I would get security (if available) or police (if you can) involved. It is completely inappropriate for them to do that and they need to be taught that is unacceptable. This is going to require a thick skin and the ability to be ready to fight it. If someone does that to you, you need to remember that you are LEGALLY allowed to use a disarm tactic like an arm bar or other not striking disarm maneuver on them in self defense. I don't recommend this except in extreme cases, I would just back away if you can and then report it and have them prosecuted for it. To be frank, I am starting to wonder if even asking that question is even legal. Under federal law Sex is protected by the US Non-discrimination act. When they ask I would say "is that any of your business?" and if they force the matter do as Joe says and press back. Embarrass them, report them to the authorities and if they lay a hand on you, prosecute them for it. They have no right to know ANYTHING personal about you that you don't wish to share and you do not have to tolerate anyone pawing at you that you don't wish to be pawed by.

Thank you everyone. I know I need to stand up for myself, but I have a terrible fear of being assaulted further if I push back. It's bad enough I am afraid of being assaulted because of which restroom I use.
You're all right. It's none of their business about what my gender is. Why are they entitled to know?
I keep retreating by going back to my hotel room to cry. I get all my tears out away from everyone.

I know I need to be more vocal about this issue. I need to call people out on being inappropriate. There is security I could always tell, but I'm scared to.

the fear of reprisal is a valid one, however you have to understand that the law is on your side and for you to be made a victim of the person is completely wrong. You are as human as they are, and if you say retaliated by reaching under their shirt you can be darned sure they would be calling you out on it and forcing the issue with security and police. You are no less entitled to that same protection and courtesy.

ive gone through very similar things yes. and im young and live in a small area. i understand and relate to your story, and know just how scary it is. i dont know if im entitled to give advice as i dont truly know what words to use and when. this might be from never talking. however, not speaking up is a big thing, i know this for a fact. but i also know when your shy, or have anxiety that speaking up is one of the hardest things to do. you said that this time you have a friend to go with. thats good. itll make talking easier. when with a friend you dont need to make the first move. i like to think of it as chess. you need to stay as calm as possible and think (which i know is not easy to do especially if assaulted. which im sure wont happen as much/not at all. when with another person) have your friend speak up first and help defend you. almost like your friend if offense and your defense. or vise versa. you need to let the person know straight up that your transgender. so while you may be physically a girl, your a boy. i dont want to advise any physical violence. because violence will only make more of a display. however i will not completely cross it out, if you need to defend yourself do so. try not to fret to much though. it'll only make your trip unhappy and i dont want that for you. face problems as they come with your head up high and your thoughts in the right place. know you have support, for your friend. and me as i will try to help in any way possible. stay strong. i hope i helped. please feel free to message me if needed. a fellow trans-boy

~Xxmatthew

honestly pkmn kid if your that worried about being assaulted, my advice is to start packin', pepper spray, small knife, or keys. and a satchel/messenger bag. Put what your holding in you back pocket and have the messenger bag over it, this has been my remedy, or if really nothing else just the bag. I'm not sayin' hurt someone but a means of self defense is just as comfortable as a security blanket, sorryfor ramblin' buti have social anxiety really bad,i am horrified of people. But anyways luvs from me, hugs and a kids too,

Ps: you look like you should easily "pass" as you chosen gender

Kiss not kids so very sorry D': autocorrect sorry sorry sorry

There came a time when I just had enough from this team leader touching me, that I finally just had to push back. There is no sham and no harm at letting people know you don't appreciate being touched or even comments for that matter. I've been rather luck, I've never been assulted minus my ex wife, but if someone were dumb enough to assult you in a public place I would sue them, you will have a good case and lots of witnesses. Good Luck and take care :-)

Thank you everyone. You're all really great. Thanks for listening and giving feedback.