Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
so i came out to my mom last month about me being trans. she basically straight up ignored me i mean yeah we talked about it but that was it we talked and she doesnt even acknowledge that i ever came out to her at all. she refuses to even try and understand me, she has given up hope for me being gay being a phase. she doesnt try with pronouns or with my name. she does stress how much me wearing men's underwear makes her uncomfortable or to see me walking around the house in just boxers and a tshirt freaks her out now. it never use to bother her before but now it does. i feel like if she knew that my close friends call me Davian and either use genderneutral or male pronouns with me she'd get angry and if she found out i wear boys deodorant and body spray too.
shes trying to pull me out of my androgyny and make me be a girl now and thats something that wont happen. its also something that hurts me i try to be all smiley and happy with her but for once when she says im her beautiful daughter i wanna yell im her son im a boy why cant you get that fact. and no matter how much i stressed to her how i feel being someone who struggles with depression and cutting and thoughts of just ending it all she doesnt seem to care enough just to let it go just to for my sake let me be her son, her boy.
i think that she doesnt love me enough to accept (or at least tolerate) this one simple fact about me. i really dont know what to do anymore with her and this and sometimes i hate myself for it cause i know she struggles with me and her religion. i hate myself for being her mistake in life and even after she decided to keep my poor bastard sick ass (born with a hole in the heart) i still cause her problems. i tryed so hard to be the kid she wanted me to be her girl the one she could brag about but i cant do it anymore it hurts and i want her to see that this has been me the whole entire time. that that kid when i was younger was just me trying to make up for being her mistake. that that day when i asked her to by me new gothic cloths i was trying to show her that the younger me died i started to be the real me and it wasnt my friends or my school. it was me trying to be something that i wasnt that made it happen that made me go into my lost gothic/emo phase of life. i hated the world and i hated myself and yeah i definatley still hate both at times but i try and stay strong and her ignoring a part of me hurts. i just dont know how to make her see it....
what do i do?
shes trying to pull me out of my androgyny and make me be a girl now and thats something that wont happen. its also something that hurts me i try to be all smiley and happy with her but for once when she says im her beautiful daughter i wanna yell im her son im a boy why cant you get that fact. and no matter how much i stressed to her how i feel being someone who struggles with depression and cutting and thoughts of just ending it all she doesnt seem to care enough just to let it go just to for my sake let me be her son, her boy.
i think that she doesnt love me enough to accept (or at least tolerate) this one simple fact about me. i really dont know what to do anymore with her and this and sometimes i hate myself for it cause i know she struggles with me and her religion. i hate myself for being her mistake in life and even after she decided to keep my poor bastard sick ass (born with a hole in the heart) i still cause her problems. i tryed so hard to be the kid she wanted me to be her girl the one she could brag about but i cant do it anymore it hurts and i want her to see that this has been me the whole entire time. that that kid when i was younger was just me trying to make up for being her mistake. that that day when i asked her to by me new gothic cloths i was trying to show her that the younger me died i started to be the real me and it wasnt my friends or my school. it was me trying to be something that i wasnt that made it happen that made me go into my lost gothic/emo phase of life. i hated the world and i hated myself and yeah i definatley still hate both at times but i try and stay strong and her ignoring a part of me hurts. i just dont know how to make her see it....
what do i do?
When I lived with my parents, growing up threw childhood, and until I was old enough to move out on my own, in the meantime I had to respect their wishes until then.
The conflict that you are experiencing with your mom is called Tran phobia. People who are gay, lesbian, and Trans gender are for most likely to face this type of rude behavior from society, discrimination can come from anyone, including a family member. I dont want to stay focus on the topic about it, because what matters right now is that you are here. Some families and friends will be accepting of your transition, and they are some who wont, but dont force it on them to accept your true gender identity. Give your mom some time to adjust; hopefully she will come back around. In the meantime dont hate yourself, and youre not a mistake, you have every right to be here on this earth just as the rest of us here do. Seeking a gender specialist/therapist who specialize in gender related issues is advisable that can help you during your times of transitioning, and they will help you dealing with your family.
I can relate to what wyndwytch is telling you. that your mom is trying to hang on to her daughter. It is her way of dealing a loss. sometime in the future she will probally come to terms with it but for now I would give her some space and time.But do not close the door keep the line of communications open. I know it hurts you inside but stay strong for yourself and for your mom as well. you know that you can always vent here and also ask us questions that you need answers for because someone here might have the answer you need. Be strong you have a whole life ahead of you...
Danielle
That would be your best bet and if you mom goes with you that would even better yet. They know how difficult it is to explain and maybe if you, your mom and the theropist in the same room just maybe she will come to the light with you and also understand how she is feeling herself.
when you do go let us know what happens. but good luck to you :)
Danielle