I'm a man that is really confused. When I was a kid I used to like to try on my mom's underwear. I also liked to do anal stimulation like enemas and thermometers. But I never felt attracted to men nor had a desire to be a woman.

Through out my adult years I continued to enjoy anal stimulation and started to have thoughts of having sex with men. I was not necessarily attracted to men but wanted to share our bodies.

I was married for 9 years and am now in the middle of a divorce. Without ever really planning it I find myself buying (online for anonymity) women's lingerie. I wear it around the house and to bed. I've started having thoughts about going through the process of changing my sex to a woman.

I have worn a few woman's clothes under my regular clothes while I've gone out but not so it is visible. I've started to try wearing make up as well as the clothes.

Is this just a weird sexual thing or something else?