Transgender Support Group
This community is here to support and help the large population of transgender people. If you or anyone you know identify as transgender, this is the place to share your feelings and experiences and speak with others who are going through similar things in their lives.
So Im new to this group and am so happy that a transgender group exists thats super amazing! I have been dating my boyfriend Leo for a year now and he is trans FTM. I knew him as Lexi and when he told me one day that he was transgender I knew that no matter what happens I would love him for him. And that will never change ever. We have been dating for a year and he has an appointment with a clinic and with Johns Hopkins for transgender therapy and also to start him on T. We are super excited and blessed to have the opportunity for him but I have some concerns about the effects of T and if its hard on a relationship. I love him no matter if hes grumpy or moody or what but I would love to know what its like for other couples and people out there. Please comment I would love to hear your responses!
thanks,
karley
thanks,
karley
As a FtM myself, on T,... It changes HOW you communicate. It alters WHAT you think about. It alters HOW you think.
Women are mentally geared more towards verbal communication, abstract ideas and concepts, talking is the main method of communicating, expressing themselves. The social drive to share what they feel is strong.
Guys are mentally geared more towards physical action, concrete concepts, straight forward ideas; physical action tends to be the primary method of communicating, expressing themselves. The social drive to ACT on what they feel is strong.
Example: a woman will use words to express how much she loves someone. A guy will use actions to express those feelings; sensuality is his mode of expression.
Guys really DO think of sex a LOT. It's part of what T does. I went from zero desire to trying not to hump everything in sight within a couple of weeks on T. It takes some adjusting to get used to that, to learn to tune out the near constant urges. I'm still working on learning that, and I've been on T since late 2011-early 2012. I think most guys are still working on learning to tune it out,...
Something as simple as stopping to ask for directions - women wonder why guys won't do it,... Well, it's the T. I used to ask for directions before I went on T, anytime I got lost, no problem. Since being on T,... I have to FORCE myself to stop and ask for directions,.. it feels WRONG somehow to have to ask for help.
Words do not mean as much to a guy. Actions mean more. Remember this.
Because sensuality is the primary mode of communication for most guys, if you reject physical contact from him, you've just slammed the door on his communication. It "reads" the same to him as if he were to scream "I HATE you!" in your face and storm out.
Expect him to become somewhat withdrawn for a while, as he will be bearing the brunt of the changes T is working inside of him. He will be puzzled, confused, and feel he has to hide his confusion - all part of the T working. At the same time, his sex drive will explode, and he will have trouble thinking of anything BESIDES sex. To give an example, try re-reading my post here, only insert the word SEX between every other word. You'll soon see how distracting it can be.
Again, his mode of communication will change to one of a more physical nature, his view of the world will also change to a more direct perspective, and he will grow restless with debates, lengthy discussions, and desire to take action rather than talk about things. His attention may drift, as his mind will be working differently... and SEX is a major factor in his life.
Guys like to pick the simplest, quickest, and most direct solution to any problem. Whatever will fix it the quickest, goes. If he's especially thoughtful, he may think things through and settle on a solution that will last, rather than the quickest fix that may backfire later - or require more work later to correct. Keep this in mind, because it applies to EVERY situation. EVERY one.
That's just the beginning. But it should give you some insight on what to expect as T works the changes.
Guys are sensual communicators, not verbal.
SEX is the main topic at all times, whether we want it to be or not.
Whatever solution will fix whatever problems the quickest, goes.
We almost CAN NOT stop to ask for directions - because it FEELS WRONG to ask for help of any sort.
Oh, one more thing:
SEX is the answer to everything. Somehow.
Guys really are that non-complex. It's the T.
Welcome to the fun.