I must be rather naive in that I'm unfamiliar with it. It could be that finally free of all burdens in relation to being who they are? I'd personally rather die then not be who I am and to be free. Maybe there are deeper issues within their psyche that develops such an emotional need of profound attachment to another.

well that's just it, they go from not being themselves and hiding within, to being themselves, but not being allowed to be them because they have given the control over every aspect of their being to someone else.

There are a multitude of reasons why that could be. Family issues or any other reason. If they are a reasoning rational adult that is not being coerced or forced then that is on them, and can end it at any time then that is on them.

something I guess I will never get. No way in hell I would allow someone to tell me when and what I can eat/drink/say/do, regulate when I can use the bathroom and have me kneeling at the front door without moving until they return.... sorry no way in any hell.

Maybe not for you or I but for some people it's part of their psyche. Accept that aspect of their personality and move on. If it becomes dangerous for them or to the point where they cannot see friends or family then maybe say something to them.

Me as someone that has been a Masochist since the age of 12 years old and is now 60, it has not changed by one nanoparticle. I did not just develop this "All Of A Sudden" when I decided to face myself and transgender. Statistics indicate that 1 in every 10 people that there is a person that is Masochist and:

The 1990 Kinsey Institute New Report on Sex reports:

"Researchers estimate that 5-10 percent of the U.S. population engages in sadomasochism for sexual pleasure on at least an occasional basis,

Psychiatry really does not really understand the issue and only calls it a sexual disorder and simply postulates theories on the issue. Psychiatry used to treat Homosexuals the same way. Science really doesn't know much about the brain but are currently gaining more knowledge as Tech is on the rise.

I should have added to my post that I suspect that lot of people in the BDSM crowd are seeking something new or "IN" but with myself it is simply about the pain and little else. I have been to some of the "CLUBS" and they seem to constantly be dreaming up new crazy stuff but I was there for only the pain and nothing else. I do think that some of the things that they get up to are stranger than than my situation and I don't need any "Help" with their weirdness as I have my own to contend with.

No offense to had by this, yet this is the connotation I have to deal with. They associate being transgender with behavior that is deviant from the norm. This is who I am, to be judged by my actions not those of others.

I know a good number of people who are into BDSM sorts of stuff, but they generally keep a sense of self and independence. If they decide they don't want to play today, they don't. They hold down jobs, deal with daily events.... then there are those like these others who have literally made themselves nothing but a piece of meat. Not sure how you can go from being strong and independent to completely empty and under someone elses complete and utter control. If they just wanted to be able to have someone pay their way because they are sick of society and they want no part in it... Fine I can accept that, at least in that there is a glimmer of self that should you get tossed out you can pick yourself up. I asked these ones what they will do if they were sent away and they simply said they didn't know what to do anymore. It seems to me that at this point since you still need a therapist to transition that somehow the transition would be stopped to address a rather unhealthy living scenario. My doctor prescribing my hormones asks me every time I go in if I am still with my therapist. Is this not normal to be asked this in an appointment. I have nothing against these people I know like this, they are good people (I do get sick of having to ask their owners for permission to speak to them thought) but given how they were and are now, they become mere shells.

Ultimately the topic has gotten a bit scewed in that my original intent was to see if others have done some complete 180 due to their transition. Gone from being strong and independent to completely and utterly dependent on another for anything and everything or vice versa. My core self has changed in no way from how I was, those things that drive me are the same things that drove me before, my will and spirit has in no way diminished, so I am trying to figure out why many do.

replying to the beginning post: I know some friends like that, I'm not too sure wither she is transgender, but my friend dresses in her french maid, and walks her girlfriend around in the public, while wearing a chain that is attached around her girlfriend's neck. I don't know wither she takes her transition seriously.

I've been told that many people experience significant changes in sexuality/sexual expression during Transition. Presumably due to hormone shifts and also to liberating ourselves to be who we want to be. Exploring sexuality is part of this process.

I am not an expert in the BDSM culture, but I do know that a responsible Dom does not denigrate, humiliate, or abuse their Sub. The relationship is based on mutual respect and the Sub's trust in their Dom to take care of them.

I am concerned that what you are experiencing is abuse rather than a healthy Dom/Sub relationship- what you describe is similar to what so many abused women experience: control, denigration, isolation, then escalation into physical violence.
Please, please, talk to your therapist about this.

heheh well this is not me personally, it is others I have known for years. they were all strong and independent, and then they started transitioning and went to ... well whatever you would call them now. The reason I posted the question is that I cannot for the life of me understand how anyone can shift that drastically. I could see it if they said, well I just really want someone who will take care of me and I just want to be a housewife. That's well and good, but to have to ask permission to use the restroom or eat or even wait to speak till spoken two, not allowed to go outside unless they decide to take you. anyone wanting to speak to you just go through them first. It makes utterly no sense to me, it seems to be how they want it, or they are brainwashed into thinking they do, but either way they won't listen to anyone who speaks against it. In only one case the are still in therapy after starting transition and the therapist I guess either doesn't know what's going on or it isn't concerned. To my knowledge none of them are physically abused or anything like that, but I would question the mental state they have come to be in. Me personally, I want as little to do with that kinda set up as possible, someone tried to dominate me like that they better be ready to be seriously retaliated against :P So yeah, I personally agree Steve, I think they need to talk to therapists about it, but either don't or the therapists don't care. That's where I am having my issue understanding it.

WOW, what an interesting post! I have to agree with you that it does seem a little strange. I have a brother who has been selebet for years, then all the sudden got into a relationship with somebody 20 years later. This person was adorable and sweet, even I liked them.

Then this person decided to start taking heavy testostorone on their own, its changed their entire personality. It made this person unstable and make wild decisions. The latest thing, this person wanted to move and take my brother with them.

However, my brother was smart enough not to let an unstable, now toxic person, to change his life. My brother has been happy with his life here with me, and doesn't feel the need to change just cause a spontanious, unstable person, wants it to change.

Never uproot your entire life just cause your significant other wants you to. NOBODY OWNS ANYBODY! And you'd think that Lincoln who won the civil war would have taught this country that lesson centuries ago.

Just cause you transition, doesn't mean you have to uproot your entire life to please somebody else. You own your own life, live it as you see fit. If your significant other can not accept that, then they are not the right person for you.

My Two Cents...
Ashley

Hi. Im new here.. Well sort of.
As someone who has been a practicing bdsm enthusiest for many years i can tell you what you are describing is called the "total power exchange" or t. P. E.

Though Hollywood would have you believe it these are not the most common relationships in the bdsm culture. I, for one am a sub but only to my partner in aexual situations. She is my dom or dominant. A sub/dom relationship is one of trust and willingly giving permission to your partner to do certain thungs to you that you allow. The sub can stop at anytime. The sub is the one really calling the shots.

However in a total power exchange the "slave" has zero power. The become the masters/mistresses property even in some cases giving their birth certificate and social security cards. These decisions are not usually made lightly and usually involve a contract. I was once asked by a guy to move to a ranch in Minnesota to be a permanent lice in pet.

Some 0f the reasons for why people choose these lifestyles is never having felt right in refular society, some have psychological reasons like always having the weight of the world on their shoulders and just want to give up all power so someone else can take charge (many boss's and CEO's are subs in their private life), and some just love to please and get off on it. For example ill tell you why i am a sub. My whole life i had dated sexually selfish women. They would kind of just lay there and hace all the orgasms they could and if i didn't get off it was my fault. Sometimes id last for 4 hours or more. I had a hyper sex drive. The way i was going about things i could never fet from them back what i was giving them. I knew i was teans b4 i knew what trans was. I knew i wantes to be a woman and have someone do for me what i did for them. As a cis male i coukd only have 1 maybe 2 orgasms but ive found as a woman in that frame of mind i don't need to "cum". I have mental and emotional orgasms. Me and my partner only have lessbian style sex now and my penis is nvr touched.

These decisions are more often than not made based on years of uearning for release of some kind though it may seem to come out of nowhere they may have just not divulged this aspect of their life to you before.

I hope this helped in some way.

I too have dealt with BDSM for a very long time. I was aware of what it was, I just don't get why so many all of a sudden go that route, its utterly ridiculous to me. maybe it is the fact that I know who I am, and yes I am a dom, but still..... that is way not how to go about finding yourself.