Matthew,

At the time I was in high school way back in the 70's transgender was not a word and I was attending an all girl high school in a very sexist and macho country and I somehow managed to live through it.

How you ask? Very simple, the times where I was in school was only taking up 8 hours of my life, read temporary, after that I could get home and wear what I wanted, to an extent because again in a sexist country there is no much leeway, yet I was able to wear unisex shirts and jeans, small consolation but learning to adapt and improvise is key to minimizing anxiety.

I did not use binders for 2 reasons: they are uncomfortable and to me, my gender identity was mental, I knew who I was and carried myself as such, no binder was going to give me what I already knew.

In other words, my high school days were difficult yet I learned not to make it worse for myself. Mind you, I had no idea what was wrong with me, but I knew enough not to add more fuel to the fire or create more problems for myself.

My advice? See it as a minor inconvenience to be resolved when you are able. So others see you as girl and treat you as such it should not bother you. Let's say they hassled you because they percieve you as another species, you know you are not. As I once heard it, you are not what you are called but you what you answer to. Remember that.

Take it easy on yourself, learn to accept your current situation as temporary but most of all, learn to love your body as it is right now and you will notice how others will stop bothering you. Self confidence goes a long long way

Been there, done that, learned a thing or two,
Wolf (FTM since 1987)

Wolfiepa has a great point. It's hard advice to follow, but it is the best way to go.

The only way life can be tolerable some times is to focus on what is under your control, and let everything that is NOT under your control pass. You will never be able to control the thoughts or feelings of others, but you can have control over your own.

I'll write up some things for you to look into to help with this later when I can. But you will be okay. You are a hell of a good kid, You're going to be an awesome adult.

2 things off the top of my head...

As an old 12-stepper, I usually tell people to start here. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serenity_Prayer

And as an old man, I tell people there are a lot of ways to approach manhood. Stoicism will get you the furthest though. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stoicism

I have to agree with Wolf, this battle is something that really doesn't go away. It will come up for most your life regardless which bathroom or change room you use. All my ID says female, My name is such, I even live as a woman but at my work because my state has no laws saying I can, I am not allowed to use the womens room. I either have to walk half way across the site to a single private bathroom or use the mens. Being that I absolutely refuse completely to go into the mens room in heels and a skirt, I opted to dress androgynous at work, Everyone knew me before, so some use my old name some use the new. I actually find it highly amusing to see the look on a vendors face when my boss says she when referring to me. I know who I am and I know what my situation is, but I can't change that. So if I let it get to me as you have been then it is going to just make you miserable. Stop caring about what others see or how others refer to you. Be YOU know YOU. If you can do that things are going to be so much simpler for you in general and not just in high school. Remember, there are states in this country that even after SRS if you are found out you can be arrested. If you are comfortable being you, then it won't matter what goes on to anyone else. You only stand out when you are unsure yourself. So be confident regardless of bound or not, if you look like a boy or girl, if you go into the mens or womens room, as long as you are confident in who you are others will sense it.

Richard,

I do hate, well not really, I relish to tell you that you are hardly an old man. If that is the case I, in my almost 8 doggie years would be considered ancient?

Not a big fan of stoicism though if combined with resilience, it can have its benefits. But you are right, the world of men is not for the faint of heart. I have told many an FTM pup to get ready for the wake up call once they start passing. Where men are men and sheep are.... Well, rather nervous...

Pleased to meet your acquiantance,
Wolf

Windy,

I have the same thing happen to me at work when idjits call me by the wrong pronoun. It used to irk me but now it simply amuses me. Here they are calling me she/her meanwhile I sport a long beard or 12 o'clock shadow looking like a lumberjack, it simply looks bad on them.

I transitioned at work so some are stll stuck. Sometimes though when they use the right pronoun, i thank them, that tactic has worked wonders. Those whom I thanked have either stopped altogether or when they slip they catch themselves and correct it

As far as the barthroom, i wait until it is empty then go but if that is not possible, i go into a stall anyway. Never knew a gender gestapo agent waiting for me at the door. Men are too busy just emptying their bladders to check for equipment unless they are gay and even then, never had a problem.

It is about being able to adapt,
Wolf

The problem is that i am well known where i work. I have been here for abotu 11 years and word gets around about the "Trans person" so yeah. Being that my work has expressly said i cannot, i could lose my job if i tried, so i just deal with it and besides, i am going to get strange looks either way.

This is a rough issue I'm sorry for what you are going threw, high school can be rough. How supportive are your parents, if they are you would be in a better position to get some help. Also how open minded is your school, and do you have privite restrooms there. If the answer is no to all of the above, then I would see if the schools counselor would be any help. If you can find help threw family and friends, just keep intouch with these people here, they have a lot of experience and positive insite to your situation. We are here for you if you need us. good luck :)

When I first started transitioning, I was in my mid/late 40's; taking classes at a local community college. I rather quickly entered the stage where I looked too male to go in the ladies' rooms, but not male enough to use the men's rooms. For me, the day several ladies walked in, took one look and FLED, I decided to quit using the ladies' rooms at all and walked into the men's room ever since.

Mind you, I was still recovering from having my DDD cups reduced, then removed, so it was a major problem.

I always use the stall, close the door and sit down. I have found that a lot of cis- guys prefer to do that as well.

I found the key thing is attitude. Act like you belong, go in, do your business, leave. No chit-chat. No looking around.