".. Screaming that they can go for days without hearing, until they actually listen for it.. "

Not me Bob. I have written so many times that I hear mine every day of the week, 24/7, in the car, in bed, in the shower, on the bike, everywhere. You may or may not have read a recent post of mine where I referred to myself as a freak, misfit, loser when I was at my lowest point. Now I don't consider myself to be any of those but my life is still dysfunctional in many ways. Years ago I had dreams of what the future might hold for me and my family but nothing worked out. I really did'nt want to intrude here because I rarely come here. Today is really hot and I've spent a lot of time on the computer so I read your post. I'm at peace with my tinnitus to a degree because I know it will never change. I'm at peace with it because I have far bigger problems to contend with. My priorites are elsewhere so for me tinnitus has to take a back seat. I'm sure that at some point something positive will happen for you and some peace and happiness will return. I actually concluded awhile back that some folks are blessed and get through life unscathed and other folks get all the crap. You make the best with what you were given.

Well said, Greg, and it's nice to know you hear yours 24/7 too and that you have told Bob it has affected your life in many ways. I mean it's not GOOD to have T, of course, but it's nice for Bob, me, and others here to know we are not alone in having had T alter/affect our lives somewhat drastically while others go on their way, adapting so quickly.

Bob, don't forget we have had people on here who were (and still are) affected by their T after years and years of having it, people who took four or more years to habituate even partially, people who have "come to terms" with their T but admit their lives are changed in some ways because of their T (even if it's just to be concerned about it every single day), and people who still struggle with trying not to be debilitated by the condition. I think when you look at all of that, you will see you are not a freak, and you should not be made to feel like one.

Bob, I could have written your post myself. I'll be at 3 years FEb 28th noonish and instead of getting better I feel I am falling into a very, very dark place. Sue

Bob, Can I ask if it was YUKU or TT. I was on YUKU only briefly the other day for the first time ,never joined.

Bob, I could not agree with you more. I remeber when you started..

You were miserable then.

Bob, what other site are you talking about ??????????

Tinnitus talk is a nice site.

sorry guys, I can't mention the other site... Its NOT thier fault I am unhappy and disgusted,, its mine... I am the problem.. I am the one that can't adapt and am hearing my T louder, and so much longer.. Very few "good days" anymore... Just whirling sirens at impossibly high frequencies that never stop... I was at my CBT therapist last night and she had to alter her plans for the session because I could harldy even speak at times...
HOW, HOW can people have severe T, and not hear it all day???. I mean everyone has to be in the quiet sometimes.. If you don't hear it when its dead quiet, HOW the hell can it even be there???

I hear mine above everything.. I was walking through the bus yard where I work, early this morning probably 30 big school busses all on fast idle warming up... Sounds of the turbo diesel engines, big cooling fans, exhaust systems, etc... Most people with T would not hear it ,I KNOW that.. Me?.. My T laughs at all that external sound, and is WAY above it always..... I just get SO pissed off when someone thinks they have bad T, and say that only the shower masks it... Mine laughs at the shower as well... NOTHING mixes with it, nothing masks it,,, ever.... I WISH the shower masked it, I would LIVE in the damn shower!
Nothing lowers it, except the few times when it comes down to more tolerable levels... Rare times that grow ever more rare... I just want to give up.. I want to fall asleep one day soon, and instead of waking up in bed at 2 am with my brain screaming and swirling, I want to wake up in the presence of Jesus telling me that I am Home and can rest and be at peace.. Thats what I desire... Only problem is, what about the bride of my youth???. The pretty girl I have been with since I was 15.. [I am 58],,, What about her, the mother of my 4 grown and gone sons?... Must she stay alone in a house she can't care for?.. She is a physical wreck, and is pretty badly disabled, can't walk much any more, despite being trim.. Her back is the worst I have ever seen, and she just cries in constant debilitating pain... She is riddled with neuropathy, arthritis, something our dear friend Suera can relate to Oh and she has tinnitus and hyperacusis as well.. Hers is moderate, not as bad as many[Thank God]... Do I keep wishing not to wake up to this living hell, knowing that she will have to face a painful, disabled existennce all alone?. Without the man that loves her and takes good care of her?. I am just a confused mess.. I pray that God gives me the strenghth to carry on... I hope and pray for better days ahead... I am so weary, and want to stop this struggle.. The demon tinnitus is winning, there is no doubt... I fought so hard, but it just isn't working.. I am simply not strong enough to withstand the brutal onslaught... I am running out of strength, patience, resilience, desire to fight, and money... Thousands and thousands gone.. And for what???.. The demon has won anyway.... bob

Prayers for you Bob you are a good man to take such good care of your wife. I am so sorry, I feel the EXACT same way, I'm very tired of "fighting" this tinnitus on top of everything else. If I could just have more low days to fill my" hope cup" as sugaboo says, but like you they are coming farther and farther apart. Last low day I had was Jan 8th. I was talking to someone the other day that has T and he says he masks it with a fan. God I get so SICK of hearing that, I'm glad he can mask it but what about the few of us that cannot? The torment we endure is unimaginable to those with low or moderate T. I know this because after being here for 3 years you will see someone that has had tinnitus post here and say "I've had tinnitus for 3 years but now it's at a whole new level OMG what do I do?"....those people have now experienced what we experience everyday and they "get it" but most don't and wonder what is wrong with us that we cannot habituate. I would never want anyone to walk in my shoes but to have this high pitched LOUD screetch 24/7 isn't the same as someone who can mask it with a fan. Like you I've tried so many things and there is no end in sight. After 3 years I feel like I've made no progress and I don't know how much longer I can live like this. The only progress I've made is I don't get my hopes up anymore so thus saves me from the ultimate disapointment when yet another fix doesn't work. I don't know what to do.

Dear Bebee,

Hello, I am sorry for your situation and I hope you find comfort in this support group.

It is my opinion that all brains are not created equal! If I might put it that way.

If two persons tinnitus could be measured as equal, one person's brain might allow them to adapt to the disorder, as to the other persons who just could not adapt to the disorder. Just as some people adjust to pain differently.

So many factors as you know take part in the intensity of ones tinnitus. Such as the cause of their tinnitus, what treatments relieve some of their tinnitus, and other physical or mental illnesses one might have along with tinnitus.

As far as some folks calling their tinnitus severe when they have days on end with no signs of tinnitus. Well I guess they should be considered the lucky ones, right? And who knows, maybe they really can just put loud screaming noises in their ears, at bay. (chuckle) I suppose its their own personal say on their own personal tinnitus.

At any rate, please don't consider yourself a freak or misfit because you are not able to adjust to the screaming noise in your ears. Tinnitus to many is a very debilitating disorder, you are not alone there.

However with that said, don't give up hope that new treatment plans, one that might reduce, or better yet cure your individual tinnitus might come along in your lifetime.

Until then, stay with a good support group such as this one, one that you feel comfortable with.

In addition try to find a few pockets of happiness in your day, so that you can live a more content life even while experiencing a very bothersome disorder.

Personally, I am capable of adjusting to my low keyed tinnitus. However still, out of the blue I have days where I relapse into more severe tinnitus and find it very distracting and annoying, which I allow to cause me great anxiety on top of it all.

Best to you
Patty Lynn

God damnit Bob!, pick up the phone and call neurological specialist Dr.Jeanmonod in Switzerland and ask him what HE thinks about why we suffer so much! Is it the actual tinnitus, or is it because we are freaks of nature/misfits/oddballs as you put it. Lets hear it from a guy who does dozens of brain scans of suffering tinnitus folks and other debilitating neurological conditions.
He might be able to actually DO SOMETHING to make this shit go away. You have the money, yet you spend it on CBT crap, fancy thousand dollar tinnitus maskers that do shit for people like us.

Tell him about your condition on the PHONE - He seems a very nice and kind person, I seen him on Youtube. Why is poster Daedalus from Yuku going to call him, a person who is NOT suffering from tinnitus and here we are sitting on our asses?

Dr.Jeanmonod has helped a woman in terrible pain to make her symptoms significantly better and he felt her happiness along with her. These are the type of people who will help us - NOT some cold-hearted councelors who dont know what its like and take our money after saying pay it no importance...I mean I agree with you100%, how can I pay NO importance to a screaming siren I hear while riding a city bus full of noisy Uni kids...granted I hear it less, but I STILL hear it - imagine how loud it is in a quiet room or when I'm trying to fall asleep. Last night was the first time tinnitus has intruded into my dream. I was dreaming myself spending time with a woman then suddenly I hear this siren around me in the dream. The I wake up, the dream is gone, yet the siren is now REAL! This is a real nightmare Bob.

Just a 10 minute phone call, please for mine and your sake, see what the doc says.

I'd call but I have a really goofy young kid's voice, not serious sounding plus i get real nervous around people, especially now with my debilitating condition, I might cry or breakdown on the phone.

Maybe he'll agree for a 2 for 1 discount, if you tell him about my own suffering and we'll split it $17Grand each. I think I could come up with that, my mom said she'll take out a personal line of credit, but not $35 G's...I'm 33 yrs old, I dont have a savings account, or equity or even a house. I live in a dorm on social assistance.

Maybe he's interested in 2 catastrophic case trials.

What's the point of whining on and on and on and wishing we were dead year after year withoug doing anything meaningful about it.
We know it ain't gonna get any better so Lets do this shit and get it over with.

Please Bob, do it for me if not for yourself. Its my last hope.
Imagine your tinnitus ameliorated by 50%, then you'd fit into the Yuku profile of a happy camper. You could take care of your wife like a strong man, make her laugh once more and just be happy again. We dont necessarily need 100% cure. We all know its possible to live happily with tinnitus - just not THIS mother **** loud!

Danny

HOW, HOW can people have severe T, and not hear it all day???.

They hear it Bob or what they consider severe T is'nt severe T. I believe that some actually lie or exaggerate about their T. But that should'nt matter anyway and I don't believe you should compare yourself to anybody else because it is'nt important. I know you don't like hearing it but it all boils down to emotions and in the end whether you react to it. Nothing wrong IMO with hating tinnitus but being stressed and annoyed all the time won't help you. It's something I learned over a long period of time and I'm no different to anybody else.

Would this Doctor in India be worth checking out ? Everything seems much lower cost there, esp. in medical technology.

http://dranirbanbiswas.com/home/index.php?v=14

The more I checked this out, probably a bad idea and more false hope.

I'm with you totally that it's ridiculous to call T severe if you can ignore it or have days/weeks where you don't think about it.

I've avoided the 'success stories' there, doesn't make me feel a bit better. I do like some of the serious conversations there tho.

We're all misfits then. But you know that's not right - you've just got it worse than many of those folks. Me too. For 16 years constantly.

Certainly feel like a misfit in society sometimes, as this is something silent and invisible to most - they have no idea what I/we are going through.

But your honestly and realness is a gift to all of us, however painful. So I thank you.

And tell Dr Jeanmondo (?) we're I'm in too!
Deadulus doesn't have T??? What the?

Bobby

Do yourselves a huge favor and stay off that site. And bb, listen to danny, he makes a lot of sense.

rgread, I think I confused you. Poster Daedalus has tinnitus, but he's no longer suffering FROM it. There is a BIG difference between having tinnitus and suffering from it and having tinnitus and NOT suffering from it - imo.
Anyways, his mission is still to experience silence once more.
I mean we all as human beings have that right.