Hello folks,

Well, I am sorry to be so needy,and please excuse if I might repeat myself, however I have stopped mentioning my T., to my husband, as "what can he do" and I had a bad day yeserday, especially since Thursday I could hardly even hear my T during the day at all, it seemd so peaceful.

At any rate, had a bad day yeseterdat though leaving me feeling very "doomed" again.

The ongoing thinking that I have a brain tumor, anyerisum, or such, is driving me crazy.

I even went to the Library yesterday, looking up symptoms.

As I said, also that fear in part due to I did
have a abnomral MRI approx 10 years ago, even though my doctor calmed me by saying my ringing has nothing to do with that, the abnormal MRI is most likely from my migrianes, or my immune syndrome, has not presented new symptoms, or changed, my last MRI was 3 years ago. My headaches are not worse, I am not dizzy, just the darn ringing!!!!!

I read "more serious T." is palsating, roaring palsating, and usually one ear, is that ture????? Do any of you know? I also have neuropathy, in my feet, and I read people that have that can also have T. Oh my gosh, I am driving myself nuts! It could be this that.

My T, is more in my right ear, but also inlcudes my left at times, and after resting in both.

Now, I was very bad, and eating very healthy, 3 months ago, then started Yo Yo dieting, lost 20 lbs, up adn down then after. My ears have always rang when I diet, why who knows? Part of the reason I don't like to diet, and that is a healthy diet they ring.

After I was so scared with the unset of this intense new T I lost 10 lobs in one week, then after Easter binged on everything under the sun, and gained about 5 lbs back. Oh my!

The day before yesterday, stupid me, ate lost of candy drank soda, and coffee, chips, slit pea soup with ham, (from the Easter ham bone,) uggg, I felt icky! And did nothing but sit, worry, expet to take care of my elderly mother to a doctors appt.

Then yesterday afternoon, I was to watch my one year old grandson, (daughter and husband and Stuart live 50 miles from me) I drove there, (they live in mountains, yikes ears always pop.)

My ears started up, ring, hiss, and off.

Then the poor little guy, my one year old grandson Stuart was noted very warm, and started with a 102 fever, so I ended up not bringing him back to my house.

The doctor told my daughter to take him to ER if his fever did not go down, since it was late Friday, past office hours. It did come down to 100 after Tylenol.


I worry so, he has had several ear infections, and last week on medicine for a small skin staff infection, so we did not know what was from what.

Also, my daughter had several ear infections at his age, up to teens, she had over 12 ear surgeries, so I think it brought back some scary memories. Also, my daughter is 5 months pregnant now, they just bought a house, and have a one year old, so I like to help her out often, but she does live a distance, and our WNY weather has not been so great to drive, bad winter, bad rains, not our town was it Thursday with the worst wind storm 85 miles per hour, a driving ban was on, what a mes clean up now. Sorry off topic.

Anyway I got home late yesterday, again driving 50 miles, and my 86 year old mom called me very upset, she lives in an Assistant living home. So I needed to go tend to her, in doing so I went through fast food, which I usually do not do, and ate a bad meal, and soda again, what a fool I am, right.

Well, a fellow that lived there, passed, one that I actually liked very much, he had no family, and I always chatted with him and gave him special attension.

My mom was sad, me too. On my way home I started to cry, but held back, due to I feared my T getting worse.

My sister that was here for a week, has not called my mom nor I, since she left, (another family issue) both my sisters live out of state, one in CA, one in Hilton Head, both very well off, which leaves me the only sibling here to care for my mom. Anyway, at that time, I found out my sister that was here, went to my other sisters in Hilton Head to relax and vacation, after being here for only one week to help me with my mom. Neither come home often to visit, or help me, and my mom has been in and out of the hospital 8 times in the past 5 years, now my mom is senile, and very frail.

Well, needless to say, I got home, feel asleep on the sofa, very upset, missed my dogie, my husband went to bed, he gets up early for work, and I have not been even sleeping with him, due to my T., I am up so often.

I woke up at mid night, my ears ringing so loud, I had a panic attack, my BP was up, and oh my gosh "what a mess."

Then knowing I have to go back to my daughters town today, since her and her husband have a graduation to go to, and I am caring for my grandson, I did not want to take any med that might make me feel funny such as Zanax. I still have not taking any BP med., because "well you know"

So, I got up, watched a bit of TV, moved about, and the ringing calmed down a bit. But, since as I stated it always is worse when I wake up, then I feared going to sleep again. I proped pillow up on the sofa,and fell asleep, but woke up several times.

Then when I woke up this morning, the usual fearce both ear hissing was not there, but a on off loud ring was in my right ear.

I got up moved around, took a hot shower, drank two big glasses of water, thining maybe it would do something to help, and now the ringing has turned back to low keyed both ears hiss/ ring/ but tolerable, so I am to be off soon.

To be honest, I do know that part of my anxiety/depression was quit present before this severe T began, because I went to my family doctor as I have told you before it started to ask him if there was anything I could take for the depression/anxiety. It was that point he foucused on the high blood pressue.

I have always been on and off again about eating good, but when I diet, my ears always rang, but now so lost in it all, I can't remember how my ears rang before this sudden worse unset, just know that I had T.

I guess the changing tones, rings, and so on in my ears is sort of the "normal" am I correct in assuming that? I also read that high cholesterol can cause T to become worse is that true?

I am getting tired from the worry, that is for sure, I do try to keep busy, but the worry still of "not knowing" why it is so bad, is over powering me. As I said, if I could pin point my sudden worse t to loud music, cold, new med., maybe I would be able to deal better, but just one night the hissing upon awaking, going away a week, then back now for almost a month, on off , here there, just seems so odd, even though I have many things that could contibute to it, and my life seems upset, still the fear of serious just scares me. And everyone has lots going on in their lifes right, so I can't assume the T. is from stress could I?

Thanks for listening. Pleas excuse spelling.

Pattylyn