Tinnitus, Deafness and Ear Problems Support Group

This group is for those coping with Tinnitus (ringing ears or ear noise), hearing loss, and all ear issues. Join to find support and get advice from others.

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Ears, Eyes & Mouth
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HRiddle
HRiddle
My husband just slapped a ruler really loudly right next to my right ear that is already sheriking, he also just turned the tv up to where you can hear it in every room downstaris. When I try to explain to him that I have tinnitus and I need him to turn the volume down because my tinnitus is the worst it has been in a long time he just tells me that it is not that loud in the house. The sad thing about the whole situation is that he has known for the last 5 years that I have been suffering from this condition. It started for no apparent reason and I just recently developed the mild high frequency hearing loss which explains the worsing of my tinnitus I guess.

I am glad I found this on-line support group, but it would be nice if my family would show me some support by just simply being aware of the noise levels when they are around me. I hate feeling like I am on my own in this battle for my sanity.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sadly families and friends find it hard to comprehend the horror of tinnitus, but saying that, your husband sounds very ignorant of what tinnitus is and what your are going through. Try showing him some information about how tinnitus can affect people who suffer from it, there is a lot of stuff on the net that will help show him how bad you are feeling.
BobsDream
BobsDream
I went to a support group last night. It was nice to know that every single person in that room was hearing what I was hearing. They were real people that understood the pain as well as I did.

My wife gives me plenty of support but my 1 year old son isn't as considerate. He likes to scream in Daddy's ears sometimes.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Oh I feel your pain! I am dealing with the same problem, I finally got the message thru but they still sometimes don't understand, like when they want to watch Glee or jiggle ice cubes.. you clearly have hyperacusis along with the T.. not everybody that has T has H, or else Pete Townsend and Roger Daltry still wouldnt be playing concerts. the H is really a bear to deal with, you have to just keep reemphasizing that your hearing is far more sensitive than a normal persons hearing. its for 2 reasons, the loss of the high freqs causes your mind to turn up the volume up the sound, OR, you have a damaged stapedial reflex, or both! my condolences, I know its tough
deleted_user
deleted_user
Bloody hell I'm glad there just the dog & I here
My brother is very careful around me after all it was his pump that blew up in my ear because it had no oil in the engine & too this day he wont share some of the blame again its the case I'm in the wrong
for not having ear muffs on
Have you tried getting the CD with the different tinnitus sounds & let him listen to it
bmega442
bmega442
I'm sorry to hear how badly your husband has been dealing with/ignoring your suffering. I am very lucky to have a supportive family. The hubby even bought me some hearing aids a while back, although i tried them and they didnt seem to help, i love him for the thought. I have alot of trouble hearing over my T noise, so when i come into the room he usually turns the tv/radio up just a tad so i can hear it too. That's the kind of support i think every sufferer should have. Counting my blessings. I hope your spouse changes his ways soon, for your well being!!

"dd...is there such a CD? That would be kind of weird to actually hear them other than just in my head"
deleted_user
deleted_user
Hi there I know exacly what you mean.I have the same thing here.They dont seem to understand what we are going through silly things like shutting a door loud is nothing to them but to us its a compleatly different story.Would like to chat sometime.
Regards
Matt
deleted_user
deleted_user
Perhaps if he understood what you are going through he would be more understanding. You clearly have hyperacusis as well as t. I also hve this and although there has been some improvement - the brain has learned to desensitize itself - I spent the first months wearing noise-canceling headphones (I recommend this), ear plugs and watching TV with no sound and closed captioning.The links below are to a site that has the different tinnitus sounds and an explanation of hyperacusis.
http://ringinginears.net/2007-10-10/the-sounds-of-tinnitus-work-out-what-kind-of-tinnitus-you-have/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis
deleted_user
deleted_user
I've found through another chronic position that people just don't get the "chronic" part of it. People are generally used to someone getting sick or breaking something and getting better within a week or so, they really don't understand something that never goes away. I played a youtube video called the worst sound ever, or something like that, for my hubby and he couldn't stand it for 10 seconds, I let him know I hear that 24/7, he was good for awhile but then forgets again so unless you are really lucky I think most of us feel alone, I do anyway. Maybe you could wear earplugs, I did that when I had the H with the T, thankfully the H subsided.
suera
kasandra
kasandra
The reason I joined the support group was because of just that.

My husband has T also. But he masks it with noise, all over the house! My T is reactive, which means I am sensitive to sounds. I feel better when it is quiet. So battle of the sounds in my home.

I wear musican's ear plugs, which do help when we are out. But it is hard to explain to a person the noise is too loud, when the noise helps the other person. He just says, "blow it away"

I have found people here that truly understands and gives me the support I do not get at home. People do not seem to get it, but we do.

Wishing you well,
Kasandra.
deleted_user
deleted_user
yes bmega 442 I was sent a cd when I first joined ATA (aust T Assoc ) & it is tinnitus noises, 17 noises 3 mins & is compiled by RNID London
tinnius when silence is noise !
If you cant source a copy let me know dd
deleted_user
deleted_user
HRiddle,
If your husband treats you like that, why do you stay with him? Sorry to be so blunt, but if my partner treated me in such a cavalier fashion, knowing full well that I am suffering, the next telephone call I made would be to the divorce lawyer. He sounds like a schmuck and I suggest you tell him to shape up or ship out.
Sorry, but there is absolutely no excuse for such boorish behaviour.
You have my sympathy. Let's hope he's never in the position where he needs understanding and compassion.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Tend to agree with Colin. It's very frustrating if your partner ignores that fact that you have tinnitus. On the other hand if the disability is'nt plainly obvious then sometimes people forget.

The ruler incident is'nt funny and I would tell him in the strongest possible terms "do it again and I'll break it over your head"

The TV I would ask could you please turn it down.

I would also ask him to sit in front of the computer and I would make him listen to tinnitus sounds and especially in the higher frequencies.

If you have a hand held mixer turn it on when he's watching TV. It does wonders to the picture especially if it's an LCD.

Try not to be agitated as it will only make you feel worse.

I think that over the years I've almost come to expect that people don't understand what tinnitus is like unless you have it.

Greg
deleted_user
deleted_user
You know you guyshave helped me tremendously! In the beginning I had virtually no support regarding T, now it it some what better however, I guess you can never no how bad a person's pain is until you go through it. I sympathize with everyone in this group because in the beginning it really made me crazy. Talk to your friends at DS when you family and friends act up! This really helps. I am praying with you. May we find a cure soon!