Hello folks, I hope everyone is starting their week end off on a good note.

Yesterday I did go back to the doctor, seeing his assistant, she was angry of course, that I did not take the bp med yet.

Actually my T., was hardly even a notice to me all day, but today, a different story, a VERY high pitch in my right ear...

Please make itjust go away!!!! The high pitch sounds higher than a tea kettle if that can be possible, making me feel anxious, not be able to block it out, nothing is helping...Why I ask, why does T take on so many noises????? Someone tell me, its driving me nuts! I have come to learn this very very high pictch is the worse for me, truly the worst!!!!!

At any rate, now she states my cholesterol is very high, and I need medicine for that, as well as she changed my BP medicine to a strong er one.

She said I am SEVERELY low in Vit D., and ordered pills for that, saying I must feel very tired it is so low.

Then she noted that in my urine test that I had done along with my blood tests two weeks ago showed "microsopic hematoma," and wants me go to a urologists. She said, "don't worry its most likely nothing." Well, I of course looked it up, and it does not sound like nothing to me. I called my moms urologist, and they said they could get me in Monday morning, so then of course I had to move my ENT appt to later that day, and my mom is having complications with her heart, and I am to take her back to the doctor on Monday too. HELP!

I had her to the doctor Thursday, then had to take her for several tests, she is 86, frail, uses a walker, and becoming senile. I also have to go daily, make sure she eats, dresses nicely and so on...Oh my you guys...and gails, I am such a compete mess....

So, anyway hematoma, is blood in the urine, although I have no blood that I can see, it is only seen under a mircroscope. The internet states it can be a symptom of early bladder cancer. So, that is now a new "obsession" for me.

However, I have NO sypmtoms of bladder cancer what so ever that would suggest that I even have it, nor do I smoke, drink, I am not around certain fumes, or have any of the known risks. I am still so SCARED!!!!

My husband, is not doing good with me so, neurotic, and having these medical issues, getting very upset with me, not understanding, has gone out the past two nights after work to eat, instead of comforting me, so I also am just very upset and have no support in my "real" world.

I do not want to upset my daughter, she is pregnant, has a baby one year old, and a husband to care for.

I have no other family here. My best friend has been very kind, and here for me, but I still feel very isolated and scared.

Now, as I sit, I have fears of brain tumors, from my T., it is so loud today, loud and hissing, not going away! And after it so at bay yesterday.

It is so so hard to believe that this tinnitus syndrome could be from NOTHING.

So now my fears with T, and having a brain tumor in addition to fearing I have a tumor in my bladder, Oh MY!


Also fretting, now three new medications, on top of it all.

I almost feel like asking my doctor to put me in the hospital, give me the medicince I need, and run the tests I need, but know that is silly. But, new meds, then the uruologist, the ENT, the Neuro in a week, and taking my mom to doctors because she is not well.

Its hard, also caring for my elderly mom, she might end up back in the hosptial too, then what?

I told my doctors assistant that I am also going to an ENT, she said, get your BP lower, then go, as if she new exactly what my T is from, and thought that was not reasonable for me to do. She said, ringing in the ears happens to most people when the get older, and can come from HBP, that why your ears are ringing. I am only 54, not that old too, I was mad, and left upset with her as well. She although is mad at me, for not taking my BP med. She said, "you have all these fears, are you fearful of a stroke, or heart attack?" "Take your medicne!"

Then I told her as I have told you here, my BP is not always high at home, but always higher at their office.

She said then my BP machine must not be working correctly, but in her next statement told me she wants me to continue checking it at home after taking the new medicine. I know the BP machine I have is correct, its very expensive.

So very frusterated with it all, really!

My friend, says, I am over reading into everthing, T, and blood pressure, medicines, my symptoms, and bladder cancer now on top of it all.

She said as some of you here I should not look up so much, and she also agrees I need to take the BP med and now the cholesterrol and D...

Needless to say I am, Very anxious, very upset, very scared, can't stop crying and I think crying makes my T worse.

Any input you have would be appreciated, and I can take constructive advice open mindly, even if it might not be what I want to hear...(chuckle)

Thanks for putting up with me, and reading.

Pattylyn