Hey Mike. Many of us have been where you are at. Tell us a little about yourself. Who have you talked to? What do you do to cope with tinnitus?

Mike, let's just say when I first got teakettle T (I also have another major health issue, but the T was much worse than that, I felt), I used to lie in bed and just pray to God, "Please just take me now, Lord!" When I'd be out at night crossing a street, I'd think, "Wouldn't it be great if a car just came along and ended it for me right here?" What kept me going was the encouragement I got on this board from people saying "It gets better" (it did) and not wanting to leave my hubby and kids quite so soon.

So, to answer your question, many of us here have felt the way you do, but please hang in there....seek the encouragement and strength you need from others if you have to. We are here for you!

Thanks! I guess this is why I signed up here in the first place! I really need someone that understands what this is like.
I've had this for my entire life. As a kid, through my 30s I thought it was "normal" to have white noise going on all the time.As it gradually started to worsen my 1st wife started to complain about my hearing. That 1st dr visit is where I first heard the word Tinnitus. He blew me off as they all did back then. Oh wait NOW too!! But anyway, every stressful thing that happened, made it get louder.Now it is SO LOUD that I have become almost completely dysfunctional. No one in my life really understands this problem, no matter how many times you explain it. "Oh he can't hear out of one ear", thanks!

So my escape? Being a musician, I go out into my studio, and turn the music up to 11, and plug my Bass into my 1600 watt amp, and blow the roof off, and then I'm happy. It's a sound proof room. In the house they say they can hear every note I play. Hmmmmm..... must be pretty loud.
I works for me.

Well, I rambled on here, at least you now know one little bit more about me.
Ps. I love the Capt. Kirk avatar! How do you put the avatar on there?
I can't find the DS 101 on that?....

Mike

Hi Mike, I'm new to this tinnitus stuff and have had my own difficulties with it, but I do know that it does get better. I was at a desperate state when it first started, but this site did help me out. It's important to focus on the positive people as they are an inspiration. I have done a lot of reading on tinnitus and it seems to be different for everyone and everyone reacts differently to the meds., treatments etc. You need to find what works for you which can be a pain and expensisve, but in the long run it is worth it. I am fortunate that I've been granted a leave of absence from work and have about a month left on that. I am in the process of learning to handle my stress better as that is a major acclerant to the noise. Anyway, join ATA and find a support person in your area-it's invaluable.

Hi Mike,
I felt very much like you do when I first got tinnitus over a year ago. it came as a result of a sudden hearing loss in one ear. I was devastated and unable to cope. Gradually, I regained some mental strength and have learned to live with it to a great extent.
Many cases of t are reactive, meaning that it is worsened by noise and loud sounds. I think you are inadvertently harming yourself by listening to and playing music at a high decibel (I'm also a singer.) Loud music damages your hearing, and damaged hearing is generally a part of what causes t. It certainly makes it worse, kind of a vicious circle.
There are methods of dealing with the t, which people on this board can help you with. Most ENT docs are not very helpful. People tend to dismiss tinnitus as not a serious problem ('oh yeah I have ringing in my ears, too'), which is so annoying. As you likely know, stress aggravates it. Please know that there is help out there (here), and turn down the volume :)
Kat

Thank you again!!! These little notes are wonderful. Of course I know that the loud music isn't a good thing. But it is a vicious circle for sure. One tiny little thing I do to make a buck is play in a band. Kind of a paradox isn't it! It works for me as the sound produced is louder than my own! So I can actually function as a Bass player. The same applies to the Orchestra I play in at times. Trombone players usually sit right in front of the Trumpet players! I couldn't live with out this!!! So to practice, how do I do this without turning up the volume??? I've tried headphones, but it's actually the same problem. I think that the PA system is probably the lesser of the 2 evils. What do you think?
I compose music for some of these venues too. I guess the actual word is Arrange. I did a little number that I put on youtube a few months ago. If you are interested here is the link: http://www.youtube.com/user/mikethe454driver?feature=mhee

this is my youtube channel, my video is set to start as you go there.
I am playing every part. All loud. I did have help in the mixdown, since I can't hear it perfectly. Let me know what you think of a audio thing by a "deaf" person....
I love this!
I'm in the Los Angeles, San Fernando Valley area, anyone close??

Mike

I AGREE WITH KAT STAY AWAY FROM LOUD NOISES
IT WILL WORSEN YOUR T 10 FOLD. IF YOU WANT THE HISSING IN YOUR EAR TO LESSEN STAY CLEARLY AWAY FROM LOUD NOISES. GET A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP.

STAY AWAY FROM BASEBALL STADIUMS THE VOLUME IS HIGH AND THE SPEAKERS ARE ALL OVER THE PLACE.
PEACE AND QUIET WAS NEVER BETTER SAID.

The noise in my head is so loud now, that I can't go to sleep. Once fatigue get's the better of me, I'll fall asleep and then be woken up 15 or 20 min. later. the the cycle starts all over again, all night long. This has been the rule for the last 4 or 5 years. I tried sleeping pills. They work the 1st night. then by the 2nd night they are useless. I've used some over the counter sleeping pills, a family member gave me some Ambien, same result.
So this is why I am at the end of my rope.The things I love are essentially the things I am being asked to stop, if I want to improve my T. About 5 years ago, when my T took a huge step louder, I wasn't playing that much. I think stress is a major factor. ??

Hi Mike, I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I too was suicidal and if weren't for my kids I would have checked out. That was last year...I'm better now, slowly. Last August I started taking amtriptyline and I think it really helped with the anxiety and let me sleep. You have to find something to help you sleep as lack of sleep makes everything worse (and T is bad) Also, my GP started me on gabbapentin last March...I think that helps too...I hate to sound like a pill pusher but you are going to have to keep searching for a doctor that will help you deal with this. I found my GP to be the biggest help. Keep in touch, we've all been there.
Sue

Thank you!! I had a HORRIFIC struggle with the "system", in that just 3 months ago they finally decided (because of my Audiologist) that I do in fact qualify for disability. Since I've only been on this for 3 months now, it's hard to get all the things done that I can now do! I made a Dr. (GP) appointment, it's on Aug 9th, I'll be interested to see what he has to say. 2 weeks ago, I was put through a entire week (M-F 9am to 4 pm) of testing to see how the tinnitus has affected my ability to think, move, reason, converse, etc... this was actually fun. I enjoyed the people who have the testing. But that result was that I am intelligent, but can't interact well with normal people in a "working" situation. What a Revelation!!! A week of testing to tell me that! ok.
However, they are the people who insisted that I find a "support group", they are looking also, but I found this! I'm glad I did. I have been able to spew and vent and people have actually responded in a positive way, and have to told me that I am an idiot or that I should be ashamed of myself for saying what I say. You know the scenario.
Anyway, thank you sooo much for the encouragement!
I have to go, I'm playing a detective on "Castle" later and I have to get ready. I can do this, people say do this, or do that, and I do. Most of them know me, and make sure that they are looking at me straight on!!
Cool...
talk soon
mike

One more little thing, I've notice on these little boxes that I'm typing right now, at the bottom is a note that is asking me to promise to be nice. Does everyone have that? or is it just me???

We all have the "promise to be nice" box.
I suspect that all of us who have Tinnitus at your level have thought about suicide. It can be really difficult to function some days. This is my 6th good day in a row so I'm trying to make the most of it. Long may it last.
I sleep ok at night now(white noise playing) but only because I'm so exhausted from the daily emotional battle.
Stress & anxiety is my greatest problem. T makes it a vicious cycle. Every time I think I have a handle on it it increases. The last 6 months have been diabolical. For me trying to stay busy helps.

Mike bring a list of suggestions you might want to try for T to your GP visit. I have found if I do the research, bring it in, say I want to try x,y or z....my GP reads what I've brought in and is usually open to it.
Sue

Hmmmm...... suggestions that I might give to the GP? Do you mean like meds or noise generators or therapy? One of the things that I'm really wary of is the antidepressants that are always advertised on TV. I know that some of these seem to help some with T. But I am reluctant to use things that have side affects that take a 45 second span to list off. Have any of you tried these things with good results? Your thoughts on the side affects? I know that I'm about to be faced with this. I really don't need something that brings be down any more!!!
One comment, was you were having a good day? how is that possible??? Does yours change??? Mine is 100%, 100% of the time. All day, All Night A really loud White Noise at an approxamate Bb and the 2nd noise is a very sharp Bb, and the 2 together are not harmonizing, so they are more annoying than can be believed. How do you deal with cell phones? Phones of any kind??? How bout watching TV with other people? I use a mic mixer plugged into the cable box and headphones from that. That way others can have to volume so low that I can't hear it, and I can have it at a level I can hear! That was a good day when I figured that one out!!!
Mike

Hey Mike. I think everyone here cringes when you mention the loud music. For the most part loud noise should be avoided like the plague. They can make your tinnitus worse both in the sort term and long term. We have all had to make lifestyle changes due to this awful condition. I used to listen to music a couple of hours a day. Now I only listen to a little bit of classical at low volumes. I also carry ear plugs with me at all times. Life style changes are necessary to stay ahead of tinnitus.

Many of us use maskers of some sort. At night I have a white noise maker and fan running in the room. I also have speakers in my pillow that play talk radio. The combination of all 3 works really well for me.

During the day I try to stay busy and distracted. I have white noise generators I can wear on my ears and I also take some medication that helps me.