The Sunflower group Community Group
This group is to brighten your day, to come for support and to enjoy and have, fun and make new friends. Nice fun questions and games are welcome.
PUN0GRAPHY
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
· I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
· When chemists die, they barium.
· Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
· A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
· I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
· How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
· I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
· This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
· I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
· I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
· They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
· This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
· I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
· A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
· When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
· What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
· I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
· Broken pencils are pointless.
· What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
· England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool ..
· I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
· I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
· All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.
· I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
· Velcro - what a rip off!
· Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
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" Name A Term Used In Football " ?
Never trust atoms, they make up everything.
What's the definition of a will? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway!)
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Who ever invented the “Knock-Knock jokes” should get a No-bell prize
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, " Are you two an item " ?
Where did the king put his armies ? In his sleevies.
I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
A tattoo artist has designs on his clients.
What's the definition of a will ? (Come on, it's a dead giveaway !)
Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself ?
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.
The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Who ever invented the “Knock-Knock jokes” should get a No-bell prize
They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can’t put it down.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
At the supermarket I saw a man and a woman wrapped in a barcode. I asked, " Are you two an item " ?
Where did the king put his armies ? In his sleevies.
I changed my iPhone's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
A tattoo artist has designs on his clients.
the local newspaper's Pun contest.
He sent in ten different Puns, in the
hope that at least one of the Puns would win.
Unfortunately, No Pun In Ten Did...
I went to the candy store, but it was very traumatic. Nobody knows the truffles I seen....
" Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams.
First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee;
then I'm a wigwam.
It's driving me crazy.
What's wrong with me "
" The doctor replies: " It's very simple
. You're Two Tents."
" Doc, I keep having these alternating, recurring dreams.
First I'm a teepee; then I'm a wigwam; then I'm a teepee;
then I'm a wigwam.
It's driving me crazy.
What's wrong with me "
" The doctor replies: " It's very simple.
. You're Two Tents."
The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.
Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, " This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri " !
" No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, " It's A Hickory Daiquiri, Doc."
The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m.
One afternoon, as the end of the work day approached, the bartender was dismayed to find that he was out of hazelnut extract.
Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar.
The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, " This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri " !
" No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, " It's A Hickory Daiquiri, Doc."
And Found Out How The Mercedes Bends " !