Some of you may remember my saga with my mother and sister. In short, I'm the third man out, plus my mother just won't accept me for the life that I have. I have agonized my whole life, and talked and begged her to just understand and accept who I am, but....to no avail. I'll save you all the details. And, well, it hurts to not be accepted because I am a good and compassionate person regardless of the turmoil in my lfie. I do, do the right thing and work hard to try to heal everyone.

Last year, my family fell apart in a catastrophic way and my long time boyfriend has moved out. However, this past 12 months, he and my sons have found a healing and forgiveness, plus he and I have spent endless hours doing the tough stuff to be able to move forward. We can now all sit together every weekend and everyone willingly gets together and enjoys Sunday dinner together as we all sit around like it used to be years ago. All the hard work has been done and we still have to continue working on it, but it feels so good to be at this place when last year it was so tragic.

But, my mother refuses to come over, keeps pulling up anger issues, guilt, tears and all manner of negativity my way. With that, she holds back my weaker father who has to live with her passive aggressive behavior.

So, last month, Kim, our Dixie, posted some words about Compassion hurting, etc. This passage held great thought for me and I bought the book that it came from and caused even deeper reflection and I I really did find peace within myself. I FINALLY resigned myself that there was nothing wrong with me, and that there was nothing that I could do about my mother. She would never accept me for the person that I was. In this book someone put to words what I needed to hear. Not affirmations, but rather, common sense.

So all month, I would visit my parents all week and go without caring what she thought. I really came and left, not caring and it was very liberating.

Yesterday, my mother called and said, (I paraphrase) , Angie, I've been thinking, life is short and I'd like to make amends with Jim. You and the boys have moved forward, and it is your life to live to choose as you will, so .....(at this point I didn't hear much after that........I was stuck at """""it is your life to choose as you will"""""""")

I lived my entire life to hear those words! Confirmation that my life was okay as it was! I had to sit down. Was I hearing right?! She was asking for an end to her yearlong boycott. All those times that I asked her over for Sunday dinner, she was now letting me know that she was now going to accept again like they used to come over every Sunday.

I thanked her and didn't gush or anything. Then we said goodbye and I hung up and sat and wondered what had changed. Well, my sister has been in Africa on vacation for the last month and a half so maybe she is lonely or doesn't have the dynamics that my sister offers. Or, maybe Christmas is coming and she realizes that I am it, or she sits alone with my father. Or, maybe she sees I don't care anymore. Or, maybe she sees that my sons don't have issues anymore and only she does. Or, maybe all of the above.

Do I think she has changed. Not at all. But, you don't yank a new sappling out while it is growing, so I will let this grow to be stronger and I'm feeling happy.

To me, this is a little miracle and I feel like I've won something for a change.

I just had to share this with you guys since you've been with me for all my crying during all the other stuff.

Angela