The Den Community Group
Pull up a chair and put your feet up. Lie down if necessary! :)
OK, so it is NOT directly about one of my kids only remotely. The back story is about my kid, the venting is not.
Back story - short version: I have decided to move forward with newly reunited son. I have also decided to let him gift/invest to me money for a down payment on a house which in return he is named in my will to get the house or if I sell it he gets his initial investment plus split the net profits. So, a win/win and no entanglements along the way. He has approached me with this several times in the past but has always had a controlling, condescending attitude with terms I could not accept. This time is different and we have agreed on terms and agreed I would get the attorney to advise us and write up the agreement. If he actually puts his money where his mouth remains to be seen but I am moving forward and will find out. I decided it would be worth the few hundred to get the agreement written up and see what happens with son.
My vent is with the attorney. I am soooo mad and sad right now. I hired him for a 1 hour consultation regarding the legalities on this and to write up the agreement. Everything seemed clear. But he required a huge retainer fee for that. I questioned that but he said what was not used would be returned to me. But now, I am beginning to believe giving an attorney a retainer fee is like getting into a car with a stranger the likelihood of getting screwed is high.
So here comes the draft of the agreement for review. Full of extraneous and inflammatory comments like ( in the phrase "parties will split the net proceed equally" he includes "if there are any proceeds". So unnecessary. Other comments that makes me wonder if we were in the same consultation together.
So I send it back with my revision. Comes back again with most but not one very important thing changed. I did not notice that until later so asked what next. Then he says he will send it to my son and sent me the cover letter for review. The cover letter? OMG-- So adversarial. Starts out with Dr Mr. S. I am representing Ms KB........ She asked me to send this for your review. And instructions for them to send it back and forth and then " if you have any questions I suggest you get your own attorney." His exact words. That is very adversarial. This is a friendly agreement not an adversarial situation.
And then I'm thinking that the meter is running every time he writes something for my review that is just a little off from what we talked about in the consulation and off from what the basic premises of this agreement. Plus he is charging me a " research fee" regarding my asking him his reasoning about one thing he advised me about. He has to research why he advises something? He does not know why he said that?
So, he will get an email from me tomorrow morning saying thank you for the advice and writing the agreement. That is all I hired him for. Since this is not an adversarial situation I do not need representation. I just need the legally sound agreement. An agreement does not need to be written on attorney's letterhead to be legal, just need both our signatures.
Then I get his bill so far--way more than a few hundred. I am angry, shocked and just sickened. Every time I think of what he has charged me for his misunderstandings my stomach clenches. What? Am I a horrible communicator? is he that stupid? am I stupid? is he milking me?
Trying to take care of myself today. Went swimming and am leaning on your shoulders. Will make a nice dinner, watch a movie and go to bed early tonight. An fire that attorney. Wonder how much he will charge me for that?!!!!!
In addition to this, I am right now working two jobs--12-14 hour weekdays plus running my business in between and on the weekends. Plus trying to do this. A little bit of stress.
Thanks for listening.
Back story - short version: I have decided to move forward with newly reunited son. I have also decided to let him gift/invest to me money for a down payment on a house which in return he is named in my will to get the house or if I sell it he gets his initial investment plus split the net profits. So, a win/win and no entanglements along the way. He has approached me with this several times in the past but has always had a controlling, condescending attitude with terms I could not accept. This time is different and we have agreed on terms and agreed I would get the attorney to advise us and write up the agreement. If he actually puts his money where his mouth remains to be seen but I am moving forward and will find out. I decided it would be worth the few hundred to get the agreement written up and see what happens with son.
My vent is with the attorney. I am soooo mad and sad right now. I hired him for a 1 hour consultation regarding the legalities on this and to write up the agreement. Everything seemed clear. But he required a huge retainer fee for that. I questioned that but he said what was not used would be returned to me. But now, I am beginning to believe giving an attorney a retainer fee is like getting into a car with a stranger the likelihood of getting screwed is high.
So here comes the draft of the agreement for review. Full of extraneous and inflammatory comments like ( in the phrase "parties will split the net proceed equally" he includes "if there are any proceeds". So unnecessary. Other comments that makes me wonder if we were in the same consultation together.
So I send it back with my revision. Comes back again with most but not one very important thing changed. I did not notice that until later so asked what next. Then he says he will send it to my son and sent me the cover letter for review. The cover letter? OMG-- So adversarial. Starts out with Dr Mr. S. I am representing Ms KB........ She asked me to send this for your review. And instructions for them to send it back and forth and then " if you have any questions I suggest you get your own attorney." His exact words. That is very adversarial. This is a friendly agreement not an adversarial situation.
And then I'm thinking that the meter is running every time he writes something for my review that is just a little off from what we talked about in the consulation and off from what the basic premises of this agreement. Plus he is charging me a " research fee" regarding my asking him his reasoning about one thing he advised me about. He has to research why he advises something? He does not know why he said that?
So, he will get an email from me tomorrow morning saying thank you for the advice and writing the agreement. That is all I hired him for. Since this is not an adversarial situation I do not need representation. I just need the legally sound agreement. An agreement does not need to be written on attorney's letterhead to be legal, just need both our signatures.
Then I get his bill so far--way more than a few hundred. I am angry, shocked and just sickened. Every time I think of what he has charged me for his misunderstandings my stomach clenches. What? Am I a horrible communicator? is he that stupid? am I stupid? is he milking me?
Trying to take care of myself today. Went swimming and am leaning on your shoulders. Will make a nice dinner, watch a movie and go to bed early tonight. An fire that attorney. Wonder how much he will charge me for that?!!!!!
In addition to this, I am right now working two jobs--12-14 hour weekdays plus running my business in between and on the weekends. Plus trying to do this. A little bit of stress.
Thanks for listening.
And nice letter to him. Good luck.
I think I would have to be facing the death penalty before I hired a lawyer, but I have her picked out just in case the sucubus DIL every walks in front of a motorhome...ooops...did I said that outloud! ????
You are probably right!!! :-(
Compare being a lawyer with being a doctor. . . you call the doctor when you are ill. He calls you back, maybe prescribing something over the phone or maybe telling you to come in for a checkup visit. You hang up. And you both go about your life.
Then, you call the lawyer when something might be wrong. He calls you back, and maybe reassures you or tells you to come in for a consultation visit. You hang up. You both go about your life, but when you check the mail, there's a big fat bill in your mailbox!!! 'Sup with that?????
Lawyers charge for *everything.* Every time you call them, there's a charge. Every time they answer you, there's a charge. Every time they send a letter, there's a charge, plus another charge for "researching the law" to make sure *he* can't be sued for what he tells you.
KB, let us know how it turns out!!!
Just a note........Whenever I tried to talk during a conference call with dh's attorney, he would say, "You are not my client, your husband is, so I cannot speak to you." Sooooooo, when he gets his $10.00/monthly check, it is because we are only using my dh's income (he is still unemployed) and not anything from my income.
I cried all the way home from my assignment today. 1.5 hour drive. I am freezing cold and sweating. My nose bled this morning. Wish I could get a better grip on this. You know I worry about things that never happen and get blindsided and thrown off kilter by those that do.
In perspective, my co-worker lost a child many years ago, I have just lost about $1000 and feel totally screwed over.
She set her timer and made sure the calls were kept to around 10 min., so he wasn't charging her for 1/2 hr. every time the calls went 16 min. She said right out that it was like he had been stalling...prolonging their conversations just long enough to get that extra $...$ that she rightly said was better off in her children's collage funds.
Igave...your first comment here made me LOL!
The only lawyer i've ever known is now in prison for the rest of his life. I'm sure he deserves to be there.
GL with your son and the house and all. Hope it all works out for the best for both of you.
{{hugz}}
Well about lawyers I've had some really awful ones and and some good ones. I actually have a very sweet deal for those situations where I just need some legal advice. on the phone. Or write me a letter to get some action or cease and desist from people or if I have to go to traffic court. and a will thrown in with yearly updates. I pay $17.00 month. No contract. That has paid for itself. .I am connected to a huge firm in my state. I get to talk to an attorney who specializes in what the problem is. Those guys hear me and the letters they have written on my behalf are right on the mark. They do not include unnecessary, snarky sounding statements ( so not right in a legal agreement) that I will have to send back to be revised.. When someone does get a letter like that from a big firm they take notice.
If something is not part of my plan they refer me to a local person who gives me a 25% discount on his regular fee. Unfortunately, having that agreement written up was not in my plan. This asshole is who they referred me to. And they will want to know about what he did. In fact every time I use them they follow up . So they will hear about Mr B........astard.
I once had an attorney call me and ask me if I wanted to use him any more .. and got a bill for 20 minutes for the phone call he made. I wrongfully assumed that my not calling him again meant 'I have no plans to use you anymore' but I was wrong.
I think that is it right on the money. No pun intended.
After I saw that first draft he wrote I realized, oh crap what train did I get on with this person.
There's going to be a lot of dead useless suits, and i won't be mourning them one bit.
Just sayin'...
{{hugz}}