I am Happy to be here with all of you! That is enought to make me smile everyday, atleast once and so often many times. Just sharing the everyday stuff is a joy and blessing....and I will take those anywhere I find them.

I think I stopped looking for Joy and Happiness when the kids went AWOL. I know thats when my health failed me, my body stopped being resilient and strong, and my mind just went CRAZY with grief and anger and so many other negative emotions....thats all I was, a huge messy blob of negativity and depression.

I stayed that way for far too long...years in fact, but then it just started getting easier. Time does its job and moves us away from the past and into the future. I stopped looking back at what was or might have been, at what I had lost....and instead looked for what I had gained.

I found out who I really am, not just Mom or Wife, or daughter, sister and friend. I am also a Rape Survivor and deal with PTSD as an old friend now, but I am not a victim! I have Fibromyalgia and all its illusive pains and weird ailments but I am not going to let it stop me, it slows me down, but won't stop me. I am all of those things, but they are secondary to WHO I AM. I am the person that can wear all those hats and not get lost or stuck in any of them. I am changable and always looking for that next "Ahaaah!" Moment when the light kicks on and I Get It!...whatever It is. Clarity, Knowledge, Kindness, finding connections to others...thats the stuff of Life and it is everywhere.....we just have to let ourselves see it and be part of it.

So when I look back now I am grateful. Everything and event in my life has brought me to where I am because it taught me how to get here. Yes, I am Happy! and intend to just keep getting happier!

Now if I can just figure out a way to get through Spring and Hayfever!!!! Oh Well, Ying and Yang!

I can so relate to what you say ArmyMom----my two children knocked the wind out of me also. Kind of like such a shock and disbelief that I struggled for a long time coming to the understanding of relationships. I guess I would say I have never given much credance to being 'happy' per say. I think have a peace in my heart is what helped me survive and that I have to tell you that came from my relationship with my Lord and savior Jesus Christ. This is a good song, it has a wonderful messsage. I am not really into country western music but Randy Travis brings across some food for thought IMO....hugs to all !


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cP8lCapcqwM

I try to be, but as Lincoln said "Nothing touches the tired spot." I'm a work in progress.

PPB

Thanks for the Song Blue, I love a good Country Cry! especially with a life lesson attached, those are the best!

PPB.....We love You, just the way you are....but you just keep getting better! If Your gonna be a Bear, be a Polar Bear! :)

When people ask "are you happy" my stock reply is…..."I am not unhappy". Things could be better of course..but then again they could be much worse! Happiness is relative and happiness means different things to different people. For those of us with estrangement issues...a heavy load to carry in itself...add to that life's little and not so little drama's and the result can feel unbearable... Our child/children who once gave us our greatest joy have become those who now give us our greatest pain....as you guys say...go figure....

For those of you looking after a parent or parents..which is sometimes not easy...remember...they looked after you...I did not have the best relationship with my parents but today I would give anything for the privilege of looking after them.....the saddest words for me are ....."it's too late".

We are all human and as such experience human emotions both positive and negative. The positive emotions which result in a feeling of 'happiness, contentment' whatever you want to call it and the negative one's that cause each and every one of us such distress. All these emotions need release especially the negative one's otherwise we repress them only to find that they re-surface at a later date. We all at times feel angry but how often do we repress that anger? Turned inwards it easily becomes depression which creates a feeling of dis-ease leading often to actual disease. As someone very wisely once told me " The body weeps the tears the eyes refuse to cry". Don't let it take a hold...thump a pillow, go for a run, cry ....do whatever it takes until you release it...(safely and without harm to others). You'll certainly feel a hell of a lot better afterwards.

I saw this recently which made me really appreciate what I have.....

If you have food in your fridge, and clothes on your back, a roof over your head and a place to sleep.....then you are richer than 75% of the world.

If you have money in the bank and in your wallet and a little to spare...then you are among 8% of the world's wealthy.

If you woke up this morning with more health than illness you are more blessed than the million people who will not survive this week.

If you have never experienced the danger of battle, the agony of imprisonment or torture, or the horrible pangs of starvation you are luckier than 5 million people who are suffering and surviving.

If you can read this message you are luckier than the 3 billion people worldwide who cannot read.

Put into context it certainly makes one appreciate what one has..and ladies and gentlemen remember.....we are a lot stronger than we think we are...you are alive and reading this...and that beats the alternative...hugs to everyone Pip.

Hey Pip, good to hear from you! and Well Said!

I HAPPILY can answer YES to all the above Questions, but pls don't tell the IRS! Top 8%....I'm Rich!?????

see my response in charlottemaria's Bad Patch post.

i couldn't type all of that again. :) but you'll see why i do such simple things to make me happy.

Hi Pippa----we have to be careful when talking about the "disease depression". It can lead to a chemical imbalance either caused by a disease like Parkinson's and also from many other reasons. Sometimes if the depression is caused from an event(s) in a person's life by dealing with this through counselling etc it will go away or lessen. But when a symptom of a disease (i.e. Parkinsons) is depression that means the disease itself is causing the depletion of the chemicals in the brain. If there were a way to think away the depression, I am sure alot of us with Parksinson's disease would love that. Thankfully there are meds that can help with the chemical imbalance that diseases can cause. So there are different reasons why people get depressed is all I am trying to say....

Blue sapphire I think you might have misconstrued what I was trying to say...I meant that the dis-ease that one feels when on the slippery slope to depression ...can sometimes .....lead to illness, disease, bad health whatever you want to call it and I truly believe our mental health can affect our physical well-being. I am in no way making light of depression, which, as anyone who has ever suffered from it will know is as debilitating as any other physical illness.

Clearly there are many reasons why people get depressed and many different kinds of depression...my father-in-law suffered from Parkinson's ....it was distressing for him and us also.. I like most people here, try to be 'careful' about what I write and also try and remember that all of us are at times facing unique challenges of our own. It was never my intention to hurt anyone...most of us have enough pain in our lives without adding to it. Wishing you and all in the Den a peaceful and happy Easter.

I am Happy today because its finally Raining! DH just called to say the sky is falling and its the end of the world and we should run away in the Motorhome.....I am so tempted!!!! Hopefully it will rain all day, even all weekend....we need the rain badly here.

Pippa,

It's great having you back!

Papa

I am "happy" each morning when I wake up and can breath.....I could be a LOT happier if I could afford groceries and gas.....but we get by.......so I really can't complain.

Today...I am happy............tomorrow.....who knows............I'm just going for today:):)

First of all, Kutani, I think you have a balanced approach to life with controlled pain. I hope you are enjoying every minute you can! Hugs!

About depression being a disease. My family has the genetic proclivity to being depressed, so, in that way, its a disease. But the tendency to get depressed needs a trigger, then the full-blown depression will happen. At least this is how what Ive read. So, it can be considered a disease or not a disease. Like Schrodingers cat.

What is interesting, those who suffer from schizophrenia, which is highly genetic, can have an identical twin WITHOUT schizophrenia! So, in the first twin theres been a trigger that didnt happen with the identical sibling...

Im on a few depression meds, even in recovery, probably all my life.

Well, these musings may or may not add to your happiness. Debbears bunny rabbit makes ME happy!! A vision in frothy pink!