Hi Diane.... yes I remember u
And who could forget that cat aviatar. I am sorry this all is going on. Wow where to start! Thats hell of a mess of poop in your life.
Take his house, get legal help and make him pay for it in court.
Thats all I can think now.
What an ass he became!
Hugs bill

talk to a lawyer first meeting at most is free u need info and that info is power when u know options.. do not make decisions with so many emotions all at once never thinking straight decisions turn out just right.. or way to go.. but with info from lawyer u can have that on mind and move forward one day at time..one minute at time with all u have been thru..so sorry for all the loss in your life. and for your kitty,,,lost mine yesterday one of mine... who i cared for since birth i delivered him and his sister,,,, so today is grieving day two.. i lost my parents with them last breath.. i have brother who has not been part of family for close to 40 yrs , his choice. we all have a story or play of life.. each stage a scene or chapter we all can tell..some seem to have more valleys then peaks and for sure, all way round u have had tough valleys piled on you.. how we react is secret to moving forward thru even the worse.. we have Choice to take Chance to make a Change.. all i have been thru an assault, and more, at first u dwell on anger and hurt pain all of it which is healthy but for how long do we 'stay;' there emotionally. each person needs different time frame to cope.. another good word we learn to move forward and cope. never forget..even if we forgive.. we cope. that is long time to be together for him just to decide done. maybe crisis change of life for him... do u talk at all?? but be healthy and good to yourself right now.. hugs

He stopped by yesterday to pick up more stuff. But I was even more angry when he left because of the things he said. Stuff like " I just want you to be happy". WHAT?!?! This job will not make me happy. Him walking out didn't do it either. And he decided we should go to therapy. I will agree to that. But I'm the one trying to find someone that can accommodate us because of wildly different work schedules. I'm not going to ask for time off from a job I just started at his insistence. And he works nights and sleeps days. There never seems to be any compromise here. It's me doing what I'm told. I call that bullying. I'm trying to put one foot in front of the other, keep busy, and not rely on sedatives. I'm terribly anxious about the job. I have many health issues that I'm trying to fit into my schedule . Today I 'm going to call my therapist because I need help with this anger and anxiety. Beyond that i just dont know.

Oldkittycat....I'm sorry about your cat. The cat in my profile is stil with me thank goodness, my constant companion. It was my husband's cat that we lost. Funny thing is that if she was still alive, I know he'd stil be here. Taking her to his parents house was not an option with her illness, and he would not have left her.

So sorry for all you've been through, Diane - over what period of time are we talking? Perhaps going to therapy with your husband is your best bet. Try to look at the bright side if you can - therapy may give you an advantage in the situation, at least buy you some time before anymore change in your life. I'll pray for you. ♥

One week into the new job. I do not like it. Still waiting to see my therapist and pretty annoyed I'm having to wait so long. I've been seeing her off and on for 8 years and I was in bad shape when I reached out to her. Also still trying to locate a marriage counselor that will take new clients and accommodate our schedules. Husband and I are on speaking terms again. He drops in from time to time and I am working very hard at not bringing up our issues until we are in front of a neutral third party.

hopes are things are getting better....it has been a month since last post....what is going on now?

I'm so sorry I kept forgetting to come back and post. I still don't like the job at all. It's causing anxiety attacks. Husband is back and no longer interested in going to therapy. I cannot quit the job because there may be lay offs at his job. I'm keeping any eye out for something different, but I'm afraid of making a change and hating the new job even more. I'm trying very hard to keep the peace in the house and in my world. I kind of feel like I'm an actress because I'm walking around making believe things are just fine. But there not

Diane -M, how are u doing / coping into the new year? how is the job? have u or both gotten into any counseling? maybe it is better if still on job not happy at rather than home dwelling on things or he is home sleeping with his night job... having to be quiet or maybe more conversations when both home... would being on same shift help at all? i know i sort of blamed myself for a while we worked different shifts if together more same schedules would that have helped and honestly no.. but that is hind sight. Just checking back to see who is bk in group how many check in any more...very few in any of the groups,, but wanted to say thinking of you and your situation. Glad u still have your kitty to come home to... and hope his return means things can be worked out to stay together if what you both want. Married as long as u both have, each changes but working thru the changes each has made is key, to accept the changes of each and find common ground. More companionship as we get older.. friendship with each other.. finding what attracted us from beginning and re new some of that. takes both working together.. and marriage any stage is work. finding a balance of who we are, and who they are... as we age and change in life. wishes from me to you, you have found some balance.. and just not existing thru each day...as we all do some times. here is some thing a counselor told m to do and it works.. but u have to be totally honest to do this with your feelings. Draw a big wheel, kind with spokes. do a spoke for each day of the month... outer ring is life in general but the spokes are our feelings each day. Choose your fav color.. and least fav color.. At end of each day look at the wheel of life, and color a line on each spoke good day or bad.. and write on spoke why good or bad. Do this for 3-6 months. And u begin to see pattern of how many good or bad days and '''''why''''''... Just a different way of doing a journal... u can see. but even if one minor thing on any given day did make u smile... note that.. there are some 'spokes' might have both colors make note why.. But believe it or not... be honest, look at whole picture each day..and there are some bright spots.. I am sure your kitty will be bright spot.. so be blessed u have your kitty on those bad days . You have a home... we have the valleys for a reason... and you are surviving, maybe barely some days but you are stronger than what u give yourself credit for.. You were able to get thru some terrible valleys BUT you did.. This job you do not like, is just stepping stone to what is next... look for the positive each day and it is there believe me, i have done lot of those wheels thru my valleys of life.. and even if at first it is coming home to your car, roof over you head.. able to get to work, function, that is a positive many do not have.. so start small, but you will see there are some positive peaks each and every day.. just have to look for them. Hugs things are better this year .

Diane-M forgot one thing... your first spoke is your favorite color. VERY DAY YOU are survivor of cancer that is positive color on each and every spoke.. You did that inner strength did that.. Maybe time to find a new therapist... just a thought... and he is willing to go to marriage counseling also positive for u both...

I like that idea with the spokes. I don't know where to start. I'm in therapy alone. We are still together. I have a whole new set of problems. I may have mentioned that both of my parents had already passed away when I was diagnosed with cancer. But my Godmother, who had pretty much disappeared for most of my adult life, reconnected with me when I was diagnosed, and we became very close. Well she can no longer take care of herself, although she remains alert and oriented, and has entered a nursing home. She keeps talking about going home again, but her sister in law and I have talked, and that probably won't happen. I didn't do well seeing my mom in a nursing home and this is affecting me as well. I've lost so many people. I'm terrified of the thought of losing her. I also may have mentioned that I lost my youngest brother in 2011 and that was not a good situation for me at all. We were super close. He called me every night to chat, and ended every phone call by telling me he loved me. Shortly after his passing, I connected with a younger cousin (first cousin once removed). He, Junior, seemed to need someone, having lost his mother to an overdose when he was 4. His dad wanted very little to do with him. He lived about 2 and a half hours away, and we started texting every day. He became addicted to alcohol and got himself into rehab around Christmas time. He and his dad worked things out. They called me last month, and were super excited because they were going to get an apartment together. Four days later, Junior was gone. Alcohol poisoning and complications of a stroke. 32 years old. He reminded me so much of my brother. At the end of every day, he would text me and say "goodnight cuz. I love you." And do you know what's funny? I thought he needed me in his life, but I needed him too. I am so lost.

The job.....yesterday I was told they are not happy with my performance, and they want me to leave. So instead of getting to quit and walk away with dignity, I feel like a worthless pile of dog poop. My self esteem has taken a hit and I'm pretty embarrassed by it all. I attempted to talk to my husband about it, and he twisted it all around so that it became about him and how he hates his job too. I really just need a break.

Diane, I remember you! I'm so sorry I wasn't here for your support!
Are you still here on DS??

I'm still here. I'm just very lax about posting and I apologize . i really connected with a lot of people here and i plan on doing better.

Hi Diane - so sorry I'm just seeing this now. DS doesn't always send notices when people post in our groups. I hope you are doing better now. That was so much you were going through and all at once. How are you doing lately?

I'm tired. Just tired. Physically and mentally. I haven't been able to see my godmother since March because of everything being closed. And I'm very lonely.