Teen Sexuality Support Group
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So, My boyfriend... or ex.. or whatever he is right now, just got out of the hospital, and I went over to his house to just hang out. One thing led to another, and we ended up on top of each-other, making out. Then things kept happening and before I knew it, I was topless and he was almost completely naked.
I immediately knew i shouldnt be doing this, and I told him I was nervous as all hell, but he talked me into keeping going with him, and he kept telling me if anything hurt he'd make it up for me. We continued making out and he managed to get me to give him oral, and he gave me oral, also.
I dont know why, but I let him talk me into trying to have sex. The only reason we didnt fully do it was because It was so painful that I couldn't keep going, and he understood. So we just made out for a little longer then I got dressed and went home.
But now, I feel HORRIBLE. I just about had sex. And im so young. I feel so disgusting, because I kinda liked it, and I sorta... wanna do it again. Is this normal? Hating this, but Loving it at the same time?
I immediately knew i shouldnt be doing this, and I told him I was nervous as all hell, but he talked me into keeping going with him, and he kept telling me if anything hurt he'd make it up for me. We continued making out and he managed to get me to give him oral, and he gave me oral, also.
I dont know why, but I let him talk me into trying to have sex. The only reason we didnt fully do it was because It was so painful that I couldn't keep going, and he understood. So we just made out for a little longer then I got dressed and went home.
But now, I feel HORRIBLE. I just about had sex. And im so young. I feel so disgusting, because I kinda liked it, and I sorta... wanna do it again. Is this normal? Hating this, but Loving it at the same time?
Was that your first time even having oral or digital sex? Just as a pointer for future reference, taking time to focus on your pleasure before sex will minimize pain. If he slowly and carefully works up to it -- such as using his fingers first -- then the more comfortable and excited you are, the easier it will be. Anxiety will only make it worse, so try to take a moment to relax.
Also, get him to pay attention to your entire body. Sort of like a massage, but not necessarily. The more sensory nerves that are stimulated at any given point on your body... Well, I don't have an explanation for why it makes things a lot better, but it does. I just don't remember why that is. Hah.
Awkward advice is awkward.
But, I hope that things turn out okay for the two of you. You should talk to him about it, too. Even just casually discussing it will make you feel better about it. You shouldn't at all be ashamed.
I would deffinately not call you a slut. I deffine a slut as someone who has cheated on her significant other, has slept with someone elses boyfriend, takes money for sex, or has multiple sex partners. and as far as i know you do not fit any of those descriptions.
my advice is to talk to your boyfriend about what happend and try to find out where you are going to go from there. and if you are going to continue seeing him i would sugest getting birth control or at least using condoms.
As to how you feel about it, you just have to decide if you are going to allow it to happen again or not. Whatever your reasoning, whether it be situational, personal, or religious, don't drop what you believe unless you have really good reasoning. You'll feel better about yourself if you stick to your convictions in the long run, promise. That's been my personal experience. When I do something that I believe I shouldn't do, I usually feel really bad about it, even if I did like it. I've personally found that the hurt that comes over-rides any enjoyment and pleasure I get from it.