Teen Sexuality Support Group

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Am i really scared?

Beckay
Beckay
Hi, I alwys been not one 4 relationships, but since i turned 15 that changed, i got startin dating boys, n now i'm 17, n every relationship i have doesn't work. I'v bin told by some boys jus cuz i havnt had sex yet, i'm frigid, n everything, when i'm not a slut, so i think y act like one. However, i'm startin 2 wonder myself, if i am. I'm scared of gettin 2 close 2 people cuz of my past where i was abused, n all the relationships i'v bin hurt in, and now i have no trust 4 anyone, however much they mean 2 me. So i'm jus wonderin whether i'm scared of the prospect of sex, or just confused about things. I really don't know myself anymore. The boy i loved jus doesnt realise how much he means 2 me even though we r not 2gether.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Being a virgin at seventeen doesn't make you frigid. That's ridiculous. The guys who told you that were just being assholes. If you're scared of the prospect of sex, you're not alone. I don't know how having been abused affects that. I think you should be careful. Nobody should be allowed to hurt you like that. So don't let anyone pressure you into relationships or sex. The whole "either you're a slut or you're frigid" thing is just plain old sexism... but don't get me started.
Beckay
Beckay
Thnx, it's jus there making such a big deal out of it, and I'v had boys sying oh come round mine n stuff(i know exactly what they want), but jus cuz i want my first time 2 b special doesn't mean that i'm frigid does it? Being abused has made it harder than normal 2 form any type of relationship wit a boy, cuz everytime i get close it jus reminds me of what happened, it wasn't really, really bad, but it does still scare me. Thnx 4 ur advise :).x
deleted_user
deleted_user
i honestly wish that i was a virgin my ex and i had sex i never realy liked the consept of doing it with idk why i always regreted it after wards=/ ur realy lucky to say that ur seventeen and a virgin....so screw the guy who told u that cause its not true
deleted_user
deleted_user
That's ridiculous. You don't have to have sex to keep a boyfriend. Please. Those weren't boyfriends they were selfish sex hunters who saw you only for one thing. I'm a man who used to be a boy. Sex will not be a fearful thing when there is commitment. Boyz wanting only sex aren't capable of commitment, hell they need to grow up.

He's a loser for puttin this stress on you. I know you love him, but if he can't take you as you are.. he's not loving you.. true love can wait.

Good grief I don't like these pressure hounds. You are fine.