I am getting more and more anxious as the months go by.
With the uncertainty regarding moving schools next year, I am worried about both what will happen if I do move and if I don't.
I couldn't get to sleep last night because my mind was going haywire with all these thoughts. I was exhausted, but I just couldn't sleep.
I don't want to go to school, the fear of the other students slowly eating away at me.
I don't like attention being drawn to me, and I get sent into a panic if my homeroom teacher even so much as looks at me in the mornings.
Getting called on to speak and such in class isn't too bad because I am used to everyone in my class, but I still find it so difficult.
I have been having 'breakdowns' more often also, finding myself feeling so bloody fragile, like if someone so much as breathes in my direction I'll burst into tears. I have been finding myself crying on the floor of a bathroom stall more times then I'd like to admit, but I guess that's better than crying in front of my whole class.
I just don't know what to do, I don't have anyone who I feel I can really talk to all this about. I have no one to listen. No one who understands what I am going through. I am alone.
I love the rain so much, it gives me a sense of solace. Does anyone else feel the same or have something else that gives them peace when they are feeling stressed or uneasy? I dont know what it is but I've always found instant comfort in the sound of raindrops hitting outside, or just water in general for some reason and it's been that way since I can remember. I love the feel of warm...
So I've struggled with depression and anxiety for the best part of 6 years now. I've came a long way since my failed suicide attempts and hospitalisation. But right now as I type this I have no job, my driving license has been revoked but the main thing that's bothering me now is that I feel I'm living a lie with my current gf. My marriage broke up this time last year and after months of crying...