SURVIVORS OF SOCIOPATHS Community Group
A group where we support one another and share our experiences with each other about narcissistic relationships. a place to heal if you have been "touched" by a sociopath. there is hope. share your experience strength and hope here with others who have been where you are. together we help each other heal...
It has been nearly 2 months since last time I saw him. I was in sociopathic hell for all these times. I was drinking like crazy, didn't want to see or talk to anyone and I had suicidal thoughts. The pain was so deep I couldn't even cry. I was feeling angry, weak, guilty, very hurt and at the same time I was craving him so badly like a drug addict craves his drugs. How it was possible for me to crave a sociopath who damaged me in such a cruel way? That contradiction was making me mad. It was like a black, sticky, suffocative hole that I didn’t think I can find the way out. I thought I was losing my mind. My brain wouldn't stop to analyse every details of the relationship of the times we were together. I know it will sound crazy but one night I read all the chats we had all these months to try to find out if there was a little moment that he really loved me. No, he was just playing with me. The puzzle was too big to put all the pieces on their places. It was mentally very tiring. But last week I started to feel better and better. I finished the puzzle and I guess accepted the fact that it was an unlucky situation in my life. Yes, his love never existed for real, but at least mine was REAL. I am lucky to be a human being who can love, care for other people and empathise. The loneliness that I was feeling at the beginning of the separation is now bearable. I restarted to breath, and the palpitations gone. I love myself more now and can see the light again. I advice anyone who had an experience with a sociopath to have NO CONTACT and PLEASE to be patient. Trust me the pain will go away with time. You are more strong that you think and you can love yourself more than those soulless people. Please don’t forget that they can’t love anyone, not only you, so don't take it personally. I wish you all the strength to overcome this difficult situation. You can send me message here if you want to talk. I really know how you feel, and maybe I can help. Best best wishes and have a beautiful evening.
PS. If you want to read, I wrote my experience with my sociopath in my previous post,
I am very sure you'll find so many similarities with your one :)
