Something I found out about maybe a month or so ago was a tactic being used by some radical online "feminists" and "social justice warriors" (not at all like actual advocates/activists for social justice, like Martin Luther King Jr) to attack and try to hurt or silence anyone who speaks out online (in places they visit at least) about injustices committed against men. Apparently the tactic is called something like "doxxing". It involves digging up as much personal information as possible about people who say things online about injustices committed against men or that men in general face in society. They then post the personal information online in their groups or on their blogs for the purpose of getting their supporters/friends/etc to use that information to harass and even make false accusations against the targeted person.

I've even read of at least a couple of cases where they would contact the employer of the target and try to get them fired by falsely accusing them of things relating to misogyny or hate mongering against women online. Of course the mainstream media doesn't seem interested in stories like that.

How are people supposed to get changes made to correct serious injustices against a given group if anyone who tries is just dismissed, given hurtful labels or even threatened for speaking up?

My kid are 12 and 14. They flew unaccompanied both to California and back. (to visit their father). Both times they sat in a row of three seats with a man in the third seat.

(I agree with SunCloud in post 10.....kids shouldn't be tried as adults.)

SW,

You said, "How are people supposed to get changes made to correct serious injustices against a given group if anyone who tries is just dismissed, given hurtful labels or even threatened for speaking up?"

You stand up to them and their ignorance. You show them that you are right and you will not be intimidated by their tactics. You let them know that you are fighting for a cause that is bigger than you are.

You let them know that you are a force for justice which is a bigger force than even yourself. YOU TELL THEM THAT "YOU ARE NOT GOING TO ALLOW THEM TO DO THIS TO YOU."

These people are emotional BULLIES---you show them with dignity and class that you will not allow them to bully you.

You do not allow them to threaten or dismiss you. You hold your ground.

You refuse to let them take your dignity. Nobody can rob you of your dignity unless you allow them to. Don't allow it. If you allow that to happen, you will soon lose your self-respect for allowing them to do this to you.

You insist on some respect. Every human being deserves respect from others and you are no different.

SW, your feelings are REAL and they need VALIDATEION. Your emotions are just as important as the emotions of the most important person in the world. You are a human being with real hurts and desires, so don't allow them to treat you as anything less.

No, you don't get violent with them or show them you are someone who tries to get his way by force, but you let them know that your views are worth fighting for.

If you---not meaning YOU in particular----don't have the courage to do all this, then they will never respect you and the cycle will never stop.

Hope this helps,

rewdiazepam

In my own experiences and from what I've seen of other people with similar experiences that seldom (if ever) helps unless you have a large number of people right there with you who will vocally back you up.

When you're on your own (or have very few people to support you in person) and the majority of the people around you being against you (and society supports their views/actions) it only stirs up more hostility against you.

That's been my experience.

SW,

I am not saying that it particularly will allow you to make them see your side of the conflict. It may very well not as you are dealing with small minded people here. To them, this is not about the truth or a fair debate. No, this is about making someone they don't agree with look and feel small.

Don't allow them to make you feel small.

BUT, BUT that is not really the point. The point is making yourself PROUD of yourself for standing up to them and not allowing them to rob you of your dignity and self-esteem. Just the fact of facing them, staring them down if needed, will give you a positive image of yourself.

And our entire life is predicated much on how we feel about ourselves.

And this positive image is important. Whether we always win or lose, it is important for us to know that we were strong enough to state our position.

So what if it stores up more hostility if you stand up to them? Hell, they did not like you anyway and they tried to take away your humanity, so who cares if they get mad. Always trying to appease the entire world---while you suffer for trying to do so----is a prescription for a sad, sad life.

When I was in prison, they tried to force everyone there who had a sex charge to take their sex offender treatment program. But to be enrolled in the program, an inmate had to admit guilt. They wanted me to take the program and I said "no."
Not because I was a trouble maker, as I was not, but because I was not guilty and was not about to take a program like that.

Many guys who said they were not guilty of sex crimes would just "play the game" and enroll in the course. They said they were guilty just to tell the DOC what they wanted to hear.

Well, I didn't----and I would never do that. They threw me into solitary confinement for 102 days in an attempt to get me to knuckle under and take the course. Finally, they figured I was never going to take the course and they let me out.

See, even though I lost that battle, I won the bigger picture-----I maintained my dignity and more importantly, I FELT GOOD ABOUT MYSELF DOING SO.

Sometimes we have to endure hardships to make others respect us.

rewdiazepam

SW,

We often talk in generalities, but I am curious.

Can you share with me some specific examples of your injustice? I mean some specific things in your life that have caused you emotional turmoil?

rewdiazepam

The more traumatic experiences have been the ones where a girl/woman would threaten to make false allegations against me of things like sexual harassment or similar offences in order for one reason or another. Typically for unspecified reasons, so I can only make educated guesses at their motives. Here are a few examples that stick out in my memory.

I remember a time when I was in kindergarten and the woman teaching the class once yelled at and chewed me out in front of the class for nodding my head in agreement with her over something. That isn't exactly a pleasant experience for a young child who can't defend themselves against an adult like that. Especially when that adult is an authority figure you are taught and expected to trust.


Another time when I was still pretty young (sometime in early elementary school) I got chastized by a mother for yelling at a kid to stop when they were holding a plastic bag over my younger brother's head. My reasons for yelling at them to stop didn't seem to matter though when I tried to explain myself and what happened. I still got in trouble for trying to protect a sibling.


Back in high school a girl was getting pissed at me for some reason during lunch while I was sitting with friends in the same lounge area. I'm an introvert so I don't generally talk much unless I have something I feel is worth saying, so back then I would often just chimebin here and there in group conversations my friends were engaged in. (In other words: it wasn't like I was chatting her up or anything.) She eventually, out of nowhere, threatened to accuse of sexual harassment if I basically didn't get lost.

Back then I was a bit bolder and tried to stick up for myself (no one else was coming to my defence) and ask her what I had done to offend her. She wouldn't even tell me at first and just kept insisting that I knew what it was. Finally she gave on and claimed that my choice in pants or how they fit me (I always dressed in clean, neat clothes that fit me appropriately instead of hanging off me) was making her feel sexually harassed. This was despite her never voicing any problems with mevor anyone else I knew of dressing that way countless times before. I wasn't getting any support from anyone and it would be her word against that of the quiet introverted kid that girls seemed to view as creepy, so I cut my losses and left.


Another example from high school that comes to mind is a time wherevI was punched byba girl for sitting with sime friends in the same area. I don't think I was even chatting with anyone that time. She just told me to move to another area, and when I refused (again trying to stand up for myself) she started punching me. And of course nobody said anything or tried to support/defend me that time either. Just to move out of punching range and live with it.


And here's an example from one of my first years of college. I was taking a studio art coursevand in the class there was one girl who would always come in and throughout the class session would openly chat away with those around her about her kinky sex life. She would talk about the sex toys she and her boyfriend had or wanted to get; or about the markings left on her body after some of their more exotic romps; and shevwould even make some of her artwork in the class depict scenes from their sex life. On one occasion I even had to walk past her and her boyfriend having sex next to my truck in order to get in and drive home after class.

I guess she suddenly was embarassed by someone seeing that last one, because the next class when I entered the room to set up for class and casually said hello to the other students in the room she decided to threaten me with false accusations. She flatly told me that if I ever so much as spoke to her again she would accuse me of sexually harassing her.

Yet again nobody spoke up in my defence or tried to support me, much less even said anything at all about what she was doing. By this point in time I was tired of trying to stand up against women in these types if situations when doing so was doing nothing to help my self esteem or my situation. Plus being in college made it very risky to push my luck by standing up to her due to how universities handle such claims and how much I stood to lose in terms of money and my insurance policy at the time.


The list just kind of goes on with a mixture of incidents like these and various less damaging (on their own, but not when added to the rest) incidents over the course of my life.

SW,

Sometimes you not only have to hold your ground, but also put them on the defensive.

Shortly after my release from prison, I was in a store when I was approached by a lady I knew before my conviction. She began talking and after about 30 seconds or so I could tell that she was trying to harass me or "give me the businss" about my crime. She mentioned about how bad the charges were and a couple of other things that made me sense that she was not my friend.

After about a minute, I had had enough. I looked her in the eye and said, "I served eight years in prison for a crime I did not commit. Do you have a problem with that?"

She stammered and looked at the floor. She said, "Why no," to which I replied, "Good, then we won't have any problems."

I put her on the defensive and let her know that I was NOT about to put up with any nonsense she was trying to dish out. I just was not going to do it----period.

This is what you have to do with these people. Some people might say, "That will only make it worse?" It might in the short term, but not in the long term.

What are they going to do if you stand up to them? They can't eat you. They can't kill you. They really can't do anything.

But the fact that you stood up to them will tell them that they will have to work harder to get a reaction out of you, but more importantly IT WILL MAKE YOU REALIZE that, yes, I can stand up to these thugs.

And when they find out they can no longer get a reaction out of you, they will slow down with the threats and intimidation.

Much of this is how we see ourselves and the image we display to others.

rewdiazepam

In my case they actually CAN do a rather significant amount of harm. Physical assault against me is always a possible outcome, and it's not like many (if any) people or even law enforcement would protect me in another case of that.

Standing my ground hasn't exactly done anything to stop my abusers from going after me in the past. If anything it has only made them more aggressive and more hostile. It's never been about getting a reaction out of me with my abusers.

I'm not sure if you've read where I discussedcthe powder keg I'm sitting on at home, but essentially any noteable escalation by an abuser (aside from my mother) poses a very real risk of setting off some unstable family members in a way that would could easily require police intervention.

There is also the matter of where I work (at a university) being a place where I a particularly vulnerable to false accusations by women. I could very easily lose my job from that due to only being a student worker and how universities handle such claims. If that happened, or even if I was only barred from going to work for a week or so while the claims are investigated I would lose my insurance coverage since I wouldn't earn the level of income required to keep it (I just barely meet the income requirement).