This last few days has been horrible. It is bad enough I'm in pain all the time every day but the last couple of weeks I've really been having a hard time sleeping too. I've always slept poorly but now when I wake up the pain keeps me awake and alot of the time I feel wide awake an hour after going to bed. Last night was better but there's too much drama going on and I'm stressed out.

My sisters dropped in on me a couple nights ago... they live an hour away so its odd for them to come without calling. Apparently my son, who just moved out, has the family all stressed out saying I'm a drug addict. He went to my oldest daughter who went to my sisters and they are all talking among themselves about what to do about me!! $#%*! I don't think my son has ever believed that I really am in pain even though he lived with me for the last 6 months. He got upset when I had to stop working and seemed to think I should be able to work and do it all and I shouldn't need pain medication.

It felt like I was the subject of an intervention and that is just ridiculous! I take my prescription medications as prescribed or even less. I practically begged my doctor to give me something else besides narcotic pain meds cause I don't like to take them. She had nothing else to offer and I was in pain so I took it but I make a 1 month script last 2-3 months cause I take it only when I really really need it. Now I will admit that I have on occasion tried smoking weed for the pain, and yes, my son knew about it - he was the one who recommended it!! Again it is not something I do regularly or even often, I have never bought it and would never spend money for it unless a doctor prescribed it (it is legal if prescribed here). I can't even remember the last time I had some and it was offered to me by a friend. But he took that one little tid-bit and made me out to be a raging drug addict to my family so they thought they had to come and stick their nose in my business in case I needed help like therapy or drug rehab. I just can't believe it and it upsets me so much. That first night I couldn't even sleep.

This weekend is my grandson's 2nd birthday and I wouldn't miss it for the world. It will be a really tough day though... #1 I have to face all my family (and I intend to act like nothing has happened) and #2 I have to drive 2 hrs to the party and back to the campground where I'm camping for the night with SO and his 2 kids. Monday I will see the orthopedic surgeon to discuss my MRI results so hopefully he can help me with this pain.

I just want off this roller coaster ride (I hate roller coasters) Things have been good for so long with my family being understanding and supportive and now its all upside down. My sisters seemed good when they left and said they were relieved to see I'm not sitting around stoned all day and wasting all my money on drugs. I actually had to explain my finances to them to convince them I'm not blowing it on drugs. Good grief, can it get any worse!?