HUGE HUGS SSL

Remember, she is just "doing her job" and, that job is to save money-- weed out the fakers and, get people to work (again, saving money)

No matter what you say--she is only going to look at things from her check list. She is also trying to get you to say, in any way she can, that you might be able to work, you can work, you don't want to work etc. Basically, making this about you and your "choices" rather than YOU and YOUR condition.

One doctor is not the end all and she knows it. If she can trap you she will. She also knows that if her quota is not XX, she can get in trouble so it serves her to be a B****. Fact of the matter is that there are people out there who take a small issue or no issue and attempt to get out of having to work.

SSL, YOU be true to you and your needs. Don't bow and don't offer information. You stick with the truth and the truth, as much as it hurts you, is that even with a modified work station & environment, you were not able to preform your duties given your condition and, you were not able to preform your duties without intense pain and side effects from medications or lack of medications.

I know it is hard right now, I cannot understand what you are doing to survive. I know I went though horrible humiliation and I really had to eat my pride (I was a manager in the same welfare office that I had to apply in) but, I knew that I had to do it because the system that I paid into for so many years is there for people like me. It is there for people like you too... You have worked all of your adult life... You have done NOTHING wrong. What has happened to you is NOT your fault and there is no shame in applying for benefits of any type.

Stick with it my friend as you see fit, it will be ok in the end, I just believe that with all my heart.

HUGE hugs my friend and much support.

Lisa i'm so sorry you have to go through this when I know it's hard enough to just deal with the CP. It shouldn't be this way at all!

I do love the way you stuck up for yourself! Very calm and to the point! You will be taken more seriously that way.

I remember when they gave you a ball to sit on and I thought that was ridiculous! They can't say you haven't tried! I hope you are keeping a journal of all of this, if not write everything down and the dates the best you can remember.

Yes apply for that assistance you need that help anyways. I don't know what i'd do without it. I lived without any for a long time and it was hard. Take any help that you can get!

Know that there is an end to all of this. There where days that I felt it would never end, but it finally did! I felt like I could really breath then. I know that if you stay strong it will be the same for you. You have a BF that loves you and wants to be there for you so let him. I'm sure you give back to him in your own ways.

Much love and support!

Toni

Thanks for the words of support ladies. Ins Lady was supposed to call by the end of the week but its 8 pm on friday and nothing from her... she does this every time.Now I have to go through the weekend wondering what is going on. I did go to the physio clinic and get the report she was speaking of. Nothing in it indicates in any way that I am ready to go back to work... she was just BSing!

BF and i are putting our brains together and trying to figure out how we will modify our living arrangements if I'm turned down. I won't be able to afford my apartment and he can't keep paying the rent much longer. By end of summer I have to have money coming in or give up the apartment. I have no problem going to social assistance if I'm turned down. I lived on it before but I had kids then. As a single woman they don't give you much, not enough for my 2 bdrm for sure.But I"m trying not to think to far ahead. I don't even know yet what she will say. I really hate this hanging in mid air not knowing what is going on.

I gathered up all the reports I have today. Everything from my first visit to a specialist to my MRI report and all the doctor and physio reports for the last year and half. I have a pain journal I kept last year and another from my 'ease-back' days trying to work. They certainly can't say I have been uncooperative or not doing all that I'm asked. I have done everything they have even suggested and that is conveyed in a couple of the reports as well. I found in my gp's report where it even says that though I attempted the ease back and was taking frequent breaks to walk around and stretch I was unable to tolerate working for more than a couple hours. That was a good find as she always says 'But you have a modified workstation, why can't you work'. Its like she thinks I just have some little back-ache that will go away if I get up and move around. That's what I had for over 10 years before really hurting my back and, yes, it did help to move around and I was able to work for many years like that. Its not that simple anymore. Tonight I couldn't even sit at the table to eat dinner with the family, my back and hips were aching so bad I had to eat lying down. She definitely doesn't get it.

Thanks so much for being here for me. Its good to be able to come here and vent. My poor bf feels like he has to fix it all and he gets frustrated with my pain. But really he is so patient and caring, he just hates to see me hurting. Take care my friends,

Hugs, ssLisa

I had surgery on my right foot. Ended up with a serious blood clot that cut off circulation in a couple toes. Was on bed rest and therapy.
Work called and demanded that I drive there to PROVE that I could NOT work. LOL
I asked her to send the company limo. When she balked, I asked her how she figured I would be able to drive without using my right foot on the gas since I was not allowed to use it at all.

she decided to talk with my doctor.

I spoke to the insurance lady again and its not looking good. She said they want proof via a test report such as CT scan or MRI. Regardless of what my 2 doctors and 2 physiotherapists have written they don't feel I am in significant pain to reduce my ability to do my job. I tried, I'm at the end of my rope, I just don't have the energy to do this but I don't have a choice. I don't know what is going to become of me, where will I live, how will I pay my bills. It can take 3-6 months to get in for an MRI around here. I can't go without income for that long. I feel so defeated. Even Canada pension disability will take months to get through if they would even approve me anyway. I can't imagine having to work like this.

I cried for a long time, home alone in my room. BF is great in alot of ways but he doesn't handle tears well so I felt very alone. I'll have to sit down with him tomorrow or sometime over the weekend and see what we can do, what I should do next. He is great at working out problems and coming up with solutions - a man thing I think and he is extreme. He was trying to talk to me while I was still too upset, I'm not ready to work on it yet I need to get over this part, the emotions.

I had the insurance policy file in front of me when I spoke to HER and I tried to use it in my defense but she just twisted the words around until I was confused and couldn't come up with anything else to say. In the end I just told her "fine, I'll call Dr. C on Monday and see if he'll order that MRI asap. goodbye" I was too mad to talk any more and I was on the verge of tears. She said alot of things that really grated on my nerves, saying I didn't make enough effort at the ease-back, that my pt's report wasn't clear enough, that my dr. should have ordered an MRI already (I had one last June). She put alot on me that was completely out of my control and I didn't know how to respond. I'm just done. I wish she'd just deal with my dr. and pt.

Ok enough whining from me for now. I'm not sure how I'll feel when I wake in the morning but I'm at a terribly low point right now. Goodnight.

SSL, this is more than any one person could deal with in weeks--let alone a few hours or days.

It is her job to deny you. It is her job to find every single possible loophole out of paying for any more treatment or other forms of support.

You have to make the tough decision now. You tried to work for quite a while when you returned. You were struggling so hard to maintain even just an hour or two from what I remember. You mulled and worried about trying to make it or quitting your job and, you made the decision to quit. You did NOT give up, you made a decision to protect your health and fight for being the best YOU that you could be on a daily basis.

I cannot begin to know or understand what your financial or ome situation is. However, I know that if you relent and return to work... The agencies and medical professionals that are involved with your issues are not going to be supportive the next time. It will make it much more difficult for you to once again come to the conclusion that you can no longer work.

Another factor tht you may not be considering too is your mental health. All of he pain, medication, stress, etc has to have a huge effect on you now, in the past and, certainly in the future. Have you had any mental health work up? Are you currently receiving mental health treatment & medications? If you are, has that person written up anythiung for you?

Mental health is a significant part of any disability claim because it shows the effects of your ability to cope and think through the process that you have become disabled. My physical body and my mental health state create a communion of disability. Either one of them alone are devastating but...together...it has more impact from a disability perspective.

I wish I could make things right for you and all of my friends here who are struggling in this position or being denied disability repeatedly. I know in my heart that whatever decision you make... You will find support and compassion with your family here.

Thank you Brandi for your kindness and advice. I am taking an antidepressant which has been increased recently but it is my PM that prescribed it. I have not seen a therapist of any kind though it is feeling more and more like I need one. I talked to bf about it just the other night. I'll have to look into it.

This morning I went for my diet appt at the pm clinic. I had called on Monday to tell the doc that insurance was insisting on another MRI or CT scan. The nurse told me today that he got the message and has written up a fax to send to the insurance company stating that he sees no clinical evidence that I need another scan. Nothing has changed since the one I had last June so he will not be booking one. Hopefully if they have a problem with his answer they will call him and not me. My only fear now is that they will flat out deny me. But then I'll just have to find out what the appeal process is and get a lawyer. I don't look forward to doing that but I will if I have to. I am studying the policy handbook so I have a good understanding of it if/when I'm asked any questions.

I had a really rough weekend after talking to her last friday.I am super stressed and my body is reacting to that stress with extra pain. I'm making use of all my bt meds and my TENS unit as much as possible but still hardly feel like moving most of the day. Last night I had trouble sleeping as every time I tried to move or roll over I'd wake in pain. I just want this to all be over; I want the pain to stop; I want the money to start; I want my life back.

ssLisa

Lisa sorry you have yet another hurdle to get over. It is very stressful and as Ducky pointed out your emotions are just important as the rest of you. This is why i've said take a day off from this from time to time. It will be there waiting for you, i'm sorry to say. A day to unwind can go a long way though. You will feel more rested, alert and more ready to face it all.

Many hugs my friend, may peace be yours,

Toni

Lisa....I'm so sorry the insurance companies representative is acting like a ill mannered, ill tempered fool! Duckie gave you some great advice I'd print it out or copy some of her wisdom to strength your case.

I would think that the doctor would have done another MRI if he thought it was needed. I read somewhere that people should limit their exposures to MRI/Cat Scans/X-Rays. Seems to make sense to me. I'm guessing that neither the fool nor the fools boss have medical degrees.

I wonder, does Canada have attorneys that accept disability cases (long term and/or permanent), in which you don't pay unless you win? If so I'd look into getting some legal help, someone that knows the system and can help you through this stressful time.

I'm so sorry your having to deal with all this....I wish I had an answer that could help. Please know I'm keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Gentle Hugs!
Deb