Read the post at the other forum. Have their been any past incidents between your husband and your oldest children? Fights, arguments? Regardless, your children should always come first. I know you think that they need a father figure in their lives, but they need one who will actually love them. Have you suggested family counseling to him? Maybe that would help! I'm sure you love your husband, but don't let this drive a wedge between you and your children. See if he'll participate in counseling with the family. Or even just w/ you. This could end up being a real deal breaker, and it's better that you find out sooner rather than later. I hope this works out for you in the way that you want!!!