sounds like he may be hiding something underneath the surface, concerning his porn and sex addiction. maybe you guys should start to expose some of his demons he's dealing with inwardly....

Yes, and he has just like yesterday, I worked all day, while he has taken 3 days off this wk for a headache and broken blood vessel in his eye, and I had found a bdrm suite for a steal and wanted to go get it after I got off work (trying to make "his" house look nice) so we went after he complained. On the way back he wanted to stop at a store to get a cola. We had cleaned out the back of the truck and I had tar all over me. He wanted me to go into the store with him, I just said "look at me, I don't want to go in I'm embarrased." OMG, he threw a fit slammed the truck door and wouldn't even go in to get his drink. Said, what is it saw some guy u know, I have never even been in that town. I couldn't believe how mad he was. He ended up speeding with the new furniture and the dresser was thrown off the trailor into the road. It has been this way all week. I stay nervous not knowing when I am going to piss him off next. God, I wish I hadn't married him, but did and at this point don't know what to do.

Is your husband seeing a therapist or taking medication, going to a support group for sex addicts, doing anything to try and help himself? Generally I don't think ultimatums are good, but you might want to tell him if he doesn't work on his issues you can't stay in the relationship.
Maybe the two of you could see a therapist together, that might help, but it also sounds like he needs counseling on his own. Maybe it would help you too; it has done me a lot of good at times. Also I think having a spiritual connection is really important; it gives you a deeper bond than things of the body. Sending loving thoughts to both of you!

Honey, I have been with an addict for 15 years. If you don't seek help this will get far worse. Set boundaries for yourself and stick to them. It's hard but you have to do this to show him the respect you demand. If you don't ask for respect you will not ever get it. His issues run very deep and you can't fix him. I have been there believe me. I was advised that he seek a counseling session first so they can access him and see how to handle your relationship. Once they talked with him they said just keep him coming alone. Couples counseling will not work until he has learned to admit to and then cope with his personal issues. You can support him in his healing but he has to be willing to seek help and heal. If it gets really bad use tough love and love him from a distance. Move out and let him know you will not play second fiddle to his addictions. I have done this and it worked. Keep in mind he has no respect for himself so how can he respect you? He needs help for his addictions and anger. The anger comes from his own inability to control himself. He is not "actually" mad at you but you are convenient to take out his aggression on. This is the hardest part of living with an addict of any kind.

Honey, I would say run and run quickly, but you are already married. I think you need to personally sit down alone and decide whether or not this relationship is worth fighting for because it either is or it isn't. No one in the world will know this answer but you.

If the relationship is not worth fighting for, I say go now before it gets worse (because it will) and never go back. I had a relationship start out like this (it was 'normal' until we moved in together) and ended up with him LITERALLY shooting a gun at me while I ran into my parent's house to get away from him LESS than 1 year later. Why was he shooting the gun you ask? I was leaving him because he literally sent me to the hospital after throwing me into a tiled wall so hard not only did that wall break, it broke some of the infastructure beams behind it. No jive.

IF you think this relationship is worth fighting for (and once again only you would know it is) I would suggest a few things:
1. You make it VERY clear that you are worth more than what he is putting you through and if HE cannot change you WILL leave. This is hard because once you say this you MUST stick with this or the relationship will never be healthy (because then he will think he can walk all over you because you will never leave).
2. Some form of couples counselling would be a good idea- it would give you two the skills to communicate to each other in ways you two will understand what each person is saying.
3. Some form of independent therapy would do you each good. I am not saying either of you is crazy, just that there is something in your personality that led you to pick a man like him; I know it sounds weird, but I went through therapy after my ex and I am a MILLION times more healthy than I was before I met him-- I am a whole lot more independent too, lol. It would do him good because I am confident he has some kind of unresolved issues as well, otherwise he would not be so domineering.
4. Consider the fact that he might need some kid of Sexual Anonymous meetings; don't throw it on him, but offer to go with him if he needs it. SA is all about the buddy system, and there is no one better to help keep him in check than you. I would recommend setting mile markers as well where perhaps you take him to dinner at 1, 3, 6, and 12 months of being 'clean.'
5. Find a use for the extra money! If you have extra money lying around he WILL be tempted to use it for sex; maybe you can get him to set that money aside for a second honeymoon, or some kind of family activity.
6. Understand each other's roles- if he has children with the other woman and feels responsible for keeping 1 extra kid, maybe there is a reason why. My brother did something similar to his wife and it turns out he felt like he owed the other woman one day off from everything (because they have two kids together, he has two with another women; with 4 in the house he figured 1 more wouldn't hurt, and she would be more likely to return the favor in the future-- which she gladly did!)
7. Get to the bottom of issues and listen. Maybe he was with someone in the past who cheated on him and now he is jealous. Maybe he feels if he doesn't make a point to ALWAYS look his best you will leave him. Then again... maybe he is cheating on you. This though is something only you would see the signs of, and is something only you would know. If you suspect it though enough to start snooping, this is an indication that bond of trust is broken even if it isn't confirmed and you should leave.
8. Teach him, and learn yourself, how to apologize and not hold grudges. There is nothing that will ruin a relationship faster about fights that cover topics you have already fought about. Once it is done, it needs to stay done-- on all accounts.

I would say... well, I've said a lot. lol

When you think about it though, YOU are the only person that is stuck in your life for forever; anyone else you let into your life should be there because they are an addition. You never want someone who is going to 'complete' you-- you should be complete and whole in and of your own persons. You want someone who will 'add' to what you already have, making BOTH of your lives better. If this isn't what you have... I would say you should reconsider some of the above-mentioned options.

All that said though, good luck! Your road doesn't sound easy, and I am sure it will probably get worse before it gets better. Know that you are not alone though, and if you ever need anyone to talk with about it feel free to message me.