Propably not. Im in AA so I dont drink and also my boyfriend. I lost my daughter in April and shortly I started eating icecream and junk food. I have stopped now. I try to keep myself busy like watching TV shows i have downloaded, meeting friends and so on. Trying to do something fun. I also gone to therapy. That has helped me alot. Also talking to peaple that have sem expirience

So far, I have not been drinking in the 4 1/2 weeks since my loss. I really like beer, and I fear that if I allowed myself to drink right now, I would go on a bender that would surely have bad consequences. I have never felt suicidal in my life, but I have felt that way for a few moments since this loss. I fear that, if I drank, I might either hurt myself, or seriously overdo it and put my job at risk. That said, I completely understand why people drink after this sort of devastating loss, and I'm certain that you are not alone in that. I have gotten together for NA beers with my closest friend a couple of times. I like feeling I'm having a beer, but without the risks that alcohol pose for me right now.

As far as coping, I'm trying to stay focused on one day at a time for now. I'm also doing mindless things that keep my attention. Mindless TV, mindless tasks around my house. For a week, I was kind of obsessed with cleaning small spots out of the carpet in every room of my house (normally, I'm a bit of a slob and don't care about these things). For the past few days, I have been meticulously cleaning out my iTunes library. I spent another day cleaning out the closets in my house. I've been looking for things that pass the time, but don't take a lot of mental energy. A lot of it is really about passing the time, since the days have felt so long. For me, returning to work has also helped, too. I've been working part time to ease back into it since my loss is so new, but I will be working full time next week. It is not easy to be at work, but it's not easy to be anywhere. And feeling a sense of my normal routine is helping.

Please know that you are not alone, either in your grief, or how you are coping with it. This is such a deeply painful thing that I think we all just have to do whatever we can to get through it.

At first we drank stupidly larg amounts of alcohol... I don't even think I was able to function.... It's been three months n now I cannot bring myself to drink..... I barely eat abd I guess thats how I'm coping... I actually got a dog to fill this empty void.... Now on my bad days I run with my dog or I bake... Or clean. Running till I collapse is my best coping method. I hope you find a way to cope

I would have to say that my puppy is my first line of defense as well. We got him at Christmas specifically to be Baby Gary's buddy, but he's turned into my lifeline instead. He seems to know when I'm feeling my worst and just lays on me (he's 80 pounds so I don't have much of a choice in that matter). He licks my face when I'm crying until I'm laughing. He's my savior.

Thanks. I'v got my self a personal trainer at the gym where I work it's help alot. I'v also had my Zoloft put up to 200mg. I feel calmer and can tolerate the constant demands of my family.

In the beginning, I relied on sleeping, anti anxiety and antidepressants to get me through each day. I looked at myself in the mirror one day and saw what I had become and stopped for the sake of my living children.

I then started reading quotes which brought me a little peace and figured if it had that affect on me... then others might find a little joy in them. So, I've been sending out notes to other loss Moms for over a year. If I am having a rough time... I double and triple up on the number of cards I send. But, it brings me peace knowing that perhaps my cards will help others not to feel as bad as I do at times.

I am also a doula... so I am now helping out new moms.

Hugs!!!
Nneka

I don't have any answers and I do think the way you guys are coping is common. I'm glad to hear you are on zoloft because it sounds like you need help. I need help too and have a couple doctors appointments today. I wish so much that I had other children because it would give me something to live for. All I have is my dog and my job and my wonderful husband. I know I should be thankful and that should be enough, but it doesn't seem like it sometimes. I want a child so badly. I agree with the other stuff keeping busy, and I think exercise is a very good way to cope. Healthy bodies lead to healthy minds.

You are all very brave women. I am not a drinker, but I understand how tempting it would be to try and wipe yourself out. It is brave to try and limit your drinking. Good health is important to recovery - exercise, good nutrition. I hope that as time passes you will be able to function "normally". Grief is a journey and we each take the steps we have to in order to survive