Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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/ Stillbirth Support Group

What is different

Celian
Celian
Children die forward..thats the difference..when you hear a child's cries, you realise you dont know what your child's cries sound like, when you see a child smile, you realise you dont know what her smile would be like, ..and so she dies, over and over and over again. Older people are misssed with fond memories, but our children have almost no memories, just unlived dreams.
JoAnnaRose
JoAnnaRose
Our babies have memories, memories in the womb. I remember the first time I felt her kick, the moment, the emotion. I would have talks with her, she would kick back when I would lay my hand on my belly.

We as the mothers have the memories others don't, we felt our babies and got to know them some. Never feel like your baby had no life, she got to be with you every second of her life. And that's awesome.
AndWinterCame
AndWinterCame
Celian, you've captured it. They die forward. No real memories, forever aching to know his smile, his eyes, his laugh, his cry. What kind of teenager would he have been? What kind of old man? What amazing things would he have contributed to the world? What kind of music would he have liked? He continues to die again and again each and every day. When I'm just going about my day it always hits me at random moments - he's dead, my baby is dead, I had a baby and he died, that is my life now. Unfathomable. I don't believe some god took him for some grand purpose, it was not "his time." Life was meant to be lived. This is a horrible thing that has happened and if there is a god I guarantee you that he is crying too. The task in front of us now is to figure out how to live while standing so close to such a dark abyss. There is no damned silver lining. No way to make it a positive. It's just very very sad, and it's now part of who we are.
AngelEmmaRose
AngelEmmaRose
I quoted your message to my Psychologist last week. And she didn't immediately understand it, I had to explain it to her. She then remarked how she realises that we really are a community and that we understand each other better than any one else could. Your message made sense to me from the very first sentence and captured what I was feeling perfectly.
It's a horrible, horrible thing that has happened to us, but it is absolutely amazing to see how such a thing could bring so many people together in complete understanding of each other.
Celian
Celian
Thank You JoAnnaRose, yes the little memories we have are precious!
princessevelyn
princessevelyn
My memories are my growing belly, the ultrasounds, the kicks, the talks with her, holding her after I delivered her, kissing her, carressing her, telling her how much I love her, and how much I will miss her and that I will never forget her.. It's only been two months, but every time I look at my belly, I break down and cry.