You know what I really hate? When people say, "You are so strong. I don't know how you do it." Well, guess what, I am NOT strong and I am NOT special. I am just doing everything I can to not drown in sorry. I know they only mean it as a compliment, but it really bothers me, like somehow I lost my daughter because I could "handle" it.

"God needed her/ wanted her as an angel", etc. Nope, God does not need anything, because He is God, after all. He certainly didn't single out me and my child (this is what I believe, anyway).

Wishing you all peace and freedom from stupid comments.

I had a girl at work compare losing my son at 39 weeks to her dog losing two of it's puppies. She said, "I know how you feel, my dog had 9 puppies and only 7 made it." Words can't describe how pissed I was.

Then a couple weeks later (about 2 1/2 months after our loss) she told me I should be thankful for my life because I have a good husband (she has a LOT of relationship issues). And I was like, "Ummm, do I need to remind you that my son just passed away, inside my belly, on the morning he was supposed to be delivered???" Don't get me wrong, I am thankful for my husband and my life in general but that was just poor timing on her part.

I just remembered the other thing my grandmother in law said that irked me so much.

"What that baby went through...." While shaking her head, like our baby suffered a horrible death inside me. And here we are clinging to the hope and thought that she knew nothing but love, safety and warmth her entire 40 weeks and hopefully just drifted off to sleep and went peacefully. I couldn't believe the things that woman was saying to us as we sat there so broken and lost. Thankfully so far only his grandma has made those type of comments to us.

It's just so hard. People say things...Honestly, I think anything they say can sound horrible, because well we all feel horrible.

Some of the best things I've heard over the last few years are...it's ok to be mad a god. He has big shoulders and can take it. And, acceptance doesn't mean you have to like it.

That is all so true. As far a replacement comments...I get it...I have twin boys after we had after we lost Eleanna. In NO way do they replace her. Honestly there are parts that are harder because they are here. I'm so mad that they don't have her in their lives. I'm so mad that I won't see the 3 of them play together...it goes on and on... So, when people say you can "just have another" while they mean t be hopeful...it still really stings...

That's not to say that my boys don't bring me incredible Joy because they do every day...

I think it's hard too to be someone who know and loves some one who had had thins kind of loss. I think that the people that love us do want to say something because they are hurting too, in their own way. I try not to be too hard on people. If they are truly say words from a loving place the actually things they say are less important than the gesture of showing that they care and have been thinking of you during a difficult time. If that makes any sense.

Everything happens for a reason.
This one makes me want to scream! Really, how about the reason is that there isn't better fetal monitoring? We go regularly to all these doctor appointments yet they don't check for cord problems.

My son/grandson/friend's kid/etc had that happen, but they're OK. These people make me sick!

My new favorite (from a total stranger)- "you pregnant?"
My son Lochlan died 3 1/2 months ago and I realize that I still have a bit of a belly, but I don't think I look pregnant! The real kicker here is that I want to be so badly. I cried the whole way home.

I can't stand the "you're young enough where you have plenty of time..."

Give her life credit. She is loved. She was wanted. She has a room and a closet full of clothes. She has a brother who was waiting for her.

On that some note, I can't stand "so are you trying again now?" when I break the news she passed. Like her life had no value.

I was buying No More Milk tea at the store because my milk had come in following my loss. I couldn't find it, so I asked a store employee if they knew if they carried it (I was looking on the baby aisle, apparently it's with the teas...which makes sense, my brain is just tried). Some woman overheard me and the sales associate talking, followed me to the tea aisle and said "I don't mean to eavesdrop but please don't stop nursing. It's overwhelming at first, but it's the best for your baby!"

I wanted to vomit. I ran out of the store crying.

"It's for the best", because I'm 44, too old to have a baby and my relationship with baby's father had ended a couple months prior to the baby dying because he married someone else. No matter the mess my life was at the time I still loved my baby and being told my baby's death was for the best was so very very hurtful.

I hate hearing....there is a reason for everything and just be glad you have your other children! Well in my eyes I cant think of one good reason and I feel like telling people "witch one of your children could you live without?"