Well today is Friday..No different than any other day since we have lost our son. Everyday since the loss of Hunter I experience a multitude of emotions all day. I feel overwhelming sadness, complete lack of enthusiasm, and lack of believe that this is my life. I feel like I have no patience and am just annoyed by everything and everyone including my husband. I try to not feel that way, however my nerves are just shot. I feel as though I have no purpose anymore and I don't know what to do. I have been seeing a counselor, reading books, trying to talk with friends..However just seems as though nothing is helping. I feel so alone in my sadness. I have no idea how to get over this. My husband keeps talking about wanting to try again and don't get me wrong I want a baby, however I am scared to death of the possiblity of losing another child. I swear if it were to happen again I would not make it out of the other side of my grief. I continue to go to all my required doctors appointments and they tell me that I will be watched a lot more carefully with my next pregnancy and I will probably have a healthy and happy baby next time..But how am I supposed to believe anyone anymore. God took my boy..What was wrong with just giving me him? Why do I have to try again and endure the emotional hell for 9 months? I don't know what to do with this anymore. I just don't know how I am going to make it through this. Why isn't time helping me? I feel like someone has ripped my heart out. I just can not get over it.