Stillbirth Support Group

This community is dedicated to those who have been impacted by a stillbirth. A stillbirth occurs when a fetus which has died in the uterus, during labor, or during delivery exits a woman's body. For help and support, share your experiences and learn how others coped. Don't forget that you are not alone.

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greyhound25 09/04/2011

One of my best friends had her baby last night-- they wanted to be surprised and it was a girl! I am so happy for them, to have such a wonderful life ahead of them filled with pink and bows, but I can't help but feel sad for myself. I am jealous, I am bitter and a little bit angry. Why do they get their girl and I don't? I know these feelings are probably normal, but I just needed to get them off of my chest. My husband gets kind of mad at me when I think like this.

I have gotten so used to walking around with this fake smile-- everything is fine, I am happy and it doesn't bother me. I just wish I could scream at the top of my lungs what I am feeling. My husband is the only one who really knows how I am feeling, maybe my mom too, but there are limits to the support that he gives me... when I get pessimistic or dwell on what could of been he gets mad.

On one hand I would give anything to feel like I used to, but on the other this pain reminds me that Emily was in this world, if only for a little while.

Thanks for listening.

deleted_user 09/04/2011

Something similar - one of my co-workers and his wife just had their 1st baby a few weeks ago - I have been avoiding him like the plague!!! He came and sat down with me couple days ago, and we were talking about my 12 year old who's about to be 13 next week. Well, he took it upon himself to pull out his pics,and asked me if I wanted to see, I d him no. I felt bad because I know I hirt his feelings,but explained that its not that I don't want to see them, I just can't, not right now. I'm very happyor them, but I wish people around me would understand that I'm not ready for that, not yet. At least he asked. I know understand what it is like not to be able to be around other arents, it makes me feel deprived of the happiness that I should be having, and though it is slowly getting better, it is still just so hard. Hang in there, and its ok to wait til your ready, your hubby will just have to understand that.

eventer00 09/04/2011

I know exactly how you feel. I'm having an extremely hard time with newborns right now. I can barely bring myself to look at them and that is kind of impossible considering I have 2 newborn nieces. It makes me not want to hang out with my family even though they have been so super supportive.

I have to go to both of their baptisms next week, plus a close friend of mine is having her baby shower. How do you go out and buy someone baby stuff when you just lost your child?

My husband has been able to hold our nieces and I asked him how he is does it. He said he doesn't look at it as what we have lost but instead, he looks at it as this is what we are going to have in the future. I love his positive attitude. It keeps me going but I don't know when I am going to be able to hold my nieces. It's also hard because when there is a baby in the room, they seem to take up all the attention.

deleted_user 09/04/2011

I felt the same way after losing my baby girl 6 years ago. I skipped baby showers. I would get teary if I saw baby girls. Older kids didn't bother me, just babies, especially girls.

I was blessed to have a son, who is now 4, which helped my healing tremendously. I'm just fine around babies now, though when I see a girl who would be about the same age as my daughter, I stop and think about how she'd be doing the same things.

It does get better!

deleted_user 09/05/2011

I am also having a hard time with some babies; I can see them at the mall, etc and do fine, but since I work at a Mother's Day Out I'm worried how returning to work will be; especially because I have a mom/part time coworker who had her baby the day I was supposed to have mine, so when I see her I'll be thinking of my baby and I know it's going to be soooo hard!

greyhound25 09/05/2011

The weird thing about all of this is that 2-3 months out, I was fine around babies and showers... now that time has passed and I see babies that would have been her age or I see my neice doing those cool newborn/infant things... it get's really tough.

deleted_user 09/06/2011

My childhood friend and I had our son's less than 24hrs apart. I had this huge baby shower and she didnt because she had to be induced so I offered a lot of TJ's stuff to her. What really hit me is when she had tweeted a status regarding how she had this gorgeous baby boy with nothing for him. I replied back to her and told her that I'd give everything to have my son's heart beat again and for his eyes to open...its hard to be happy for them but babies are a blessing in general so I just try to keep that in mind. I have like 4 other acquaintances who are due within the next couple of months as well. I doubt i'll be able to attend baby festivities and I just hope they understand.

deleted_user 09/06/2011

I am trying to hard not to be bitter but I have 4 friends pregnant now and its overwhelming everytime I am around them...I always think to when I was pregnant and that I should still be pregnant. This is so hard.

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